Music for a Sunday: Line up, there’s a head count

You’ll say yeah to anything if you believe all this…

President Gas is President Gas again. And that ain’t all he is:

Dressed in pounds and dollars and yen…President Kill wants killing again!

You think I’m kidding? Oh hell no. He just made plans for the NEXT war against Iraq:

But things would only get weirder when Trump turned his attention to Iraq. While stating that he was “no fan” of the invasion, he swung wildly into a statement about the importance of stealing Iraq’s oil should the United States ever invade the country again. The idea was so preposterous that many in the crowd audibly laughed – assuming it was a joke.

Trump apparently wasn’t kidding. He went on to suggest that maybe the CIA and the U.S. military would have another chance at getting Iraq’s oil – a chilling promise that caused the room to go dead silent.

You can see the video at the link. If you feel like stomaching it. Be sure to take your ulcer pills first. He is, indeed, planning for Gulf War III. It’s only a matter of when it will be formally declared. Or whenever the first drone strike falls, or worse. With his itchy orange trigger fingers, it could be any time at all.

So much for the “well at least he’s not an imperialist” excuse. He’s a US capitalist. He prides himself on his greed and ruthlessness. Of COURSE he’s an imperialist. And of COURSE he’s a warmonger and a thief. It goes with the territory. Along with killing, killing and more killing. The day that country actually gets a peace-loving president, I’m going to wonder if someone invented a time machine and brought back the age of Jimmy Carter, because that’s the last and only time THAT ever happened.

Fuck you, President Gas.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Barreling Right Along, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't That Illegal?, Music for a Sunday, Sick Frickin' Bastards, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Music for a Sunday: Line up, there’s a head count

Wankers of the Week: The Drumpf Inaugural Farce

inauguration-comparison.jpg

Crappy weekend everyone! And a bigly YUGE crappy one to my friends south of the border. Sorry, folks. I don’t envy you one bit right now. But one good thing about all this: You’re resisting. You’re staying away from him in droves. And the numbers don’t lie: Three times as many buses of protesters coming for the women’s march tomorrow, plus entire planeloads of pussyhats. And here’s who should be trembling in fear of all that, in no particular order:

1. Christopher von Fucking Keyserling. Guess what? “This new world”, as you call it, is still the same old one as it ever was. You are not suddenly free to grab women by the pussy and then claim no one will believe them…especially when a security camera catches it all. Special wanker brownie points to your lawyer for claiming it was all a joke. Funny, but the victim of your sexual assault didn’t find it funny at all.

2. Paul Fucking Elam. Just when I was wondering if Paulie had finally fallen off the face of the Earth, he goes and rears his ugly, woman-hating head again. And lectures the Anne Frank Centre, of all places, on trivializing the Holocaust. He must really be hard up for donations if he has to suddenly compete for publicity with the Alt-Reich!

3. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Leave it to Yeah-Nope to be a flaming drama queen about shit that didn’t actually happen, and completely ignore the shit that DID actually happen. To Martin Fucking PharmaBro Shkreli. Dog shit, to be quite precise. Couldn’t have happened to a douchier bag, either. Ha, ha.

dogshit-2017.jpg

4. Ben Fucking Ferguson. John Lewis had a good point when he said Der Drumpf was illegitimate. After all, this is the same Cheetolini who spent much of the past eight years questioning the legitimacy of a black president who was born in Hawaii. And how’s it feel to be pwned with that salient fact on national TV?

5. Mike Fucking Pence. And again, as with #4: John Lewis had a solid point. Drumpf lost the popular vote, and literally has NO legitimate claim to be president, with only one-quarter of eligible voters marking their ballots for him. Stop whining and face facts: You have a bumpy four years ahead of you, and if you’re not both removed from office, it will be a gross injustice…not to mention sheer political lunacy.

6. Mike Fucking Coffman. When you hold a town-hall meeting, dopey, you accept questions from everyone who gets up to ask them. You don’t just duck out when things start to get a little bit uncomfortable for you, snowflake. Especially when you brought the discomfort on yourself by voting for what you KNOW is a bad motion.

kellyanne-loses-gay-friends.jpg

7. Keith Fucking Kempenich. No criminal charges for drivers who “accidentally” run over indigenous protesters against illegal pipelines? Are you fucking kidding? Are you fucking dissociated? No, wait, I think I know what you are: a racist fucking ASSHOLE.

8. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. Drumpf’s Russian pee-fest details should be kept secret to “protect the public”? Since fucking when is Drumpf “the public”??? PS: And holy crap, HER OUTFIT!!! She looks like a clown. Fitting, since she’s now ringmaster of the Drumpf Circus (which is taking Ringling Bros’ place).

9. Kevin O’Fucking Leary. Right, I think it’s time to cut this Dragons’ Den shit-show before it gets any shittier. He thinks our budget can be balanced by selling Senate seats to rich clods? Uh, if I’m not mistaken, those are the same influence-buyers who got us in such a budgetary mess in the first place, with their incessant lobbying for tax cuts, tax cuts and more fucking tax cuts. And that’s when they’re not too busy clamoring for government to be run (into the ground, no doubt) like a fucking business. Last thing we need is them in the Upper Chamber. Or this fucking clown in the PMO, come to that. PS: Nobody wants to be your girlfriend, Kevvy. Much less one of several.

fugelsang-inauguration.jpg

10. David Fucking Martosko. He thinks members of the White House press corps should be pee-tested for drugs? I’d say the guy he’s lusting to work for is the one who should be tested, but then again, he also has a weird thing for pee.

11. Jim Fucking Fouts. He thinks black people look like chimps, and older women are “mean”, “hateful” and “dried-up”? Oooooooo, the projection is strong with this ‘un.

12. Tommy Fucking Hunter. And speaking of projection, get a load of what this fucking inbred yokel thinks of John Lewis. Pot, quit defaming kettle, and look at your own piggy little eyes in the mirror.

13. Rob Fucking Schneider. Why?

rob-schneider-civil-rights-dumbth.jpg

That’s why. You don’t whitesplain civil-rights activism to those who literally wrote the book on it! You. Just. DON’T. And no, it has not been “accomplished” or “won”, yet. Just look at all the disenfranchised black voters out there if you don’t believe me. This election was stolen, and those people were ROBBED.

14. Lee Fucking Greenwood. No, the Drumpf Inaugural Farce is definitely something that no one who passes up on performing at it — or watching it — will EVER regret. In fact, there are several counter-campaigns against it, be it a “watch other channels” boycott, or a counter-concert where all the celebs who refused will be performing, or just people going out and ignoring that fucker for all they’re worth.

15. Rick Fucking Santorum. Because it’s been a while since we’ve heard from Icky Ricky McButtsploodge, and we haven’t exactly missed him. But when he did poke up his frothy brown head, it just so figures he’d go after John Lewis, too. Because sexism and homophobia are just not enough of a shit sandwich without a big ol’ dollop of racism on top, it seems.

16. Mike Fucking Peinovich. Yeah, surprise: Fucking a goat “ironically” still makes you a goatfucker. And “ironic” neo-Nazism is still neo-Nazism. NOW do you get it?

mlk-drumpf-hush.jpg

17. David Fucking Clarke. Yeah, surprise: “Jiggaboo” is still a racist term, even when it comes from black guys. Especially since we all know this one’s just trying to get a job from the worst, ugliest, most racist white guy in the land.

18. Judith Fucking Miller. Sniping at Chelsea Manning for leaks causing military deaths? Uh, Steno Jude…you really might want to hold off on that whole pot-kettle thing, because it’s always come back to bite you. And the worst part is, your “leaks” were LIES. Chelsea’s were the truth. And in all likelihood, they have helped to save lives that don’t even matter to you!

19. Monica Fucking Crowley. What the fuck just happened? You plagiarized and got caught, that’s what! Honestly, I’m surprised that someone so stupid and lazy even got to be a Ph.D. candidate in the first place.

drumpf-writing-speech.jpg

20. Marla Fucking Maples. Ever wonder what it takes to be the mistress/wife of Drumpf? Well, for starters, CHUTZPAH. And major fucking ENTITLEMENT. Get it through your head, Miss Hawaiian Tropic (and ex-Mrs. Drumpf): NOBODY WORKS FOR “EXPOSURE”. “Exposure” doesn’t pay rent, bills, or anything else related to daily living expenses. And anyway, since you’re not gonna be there in the capacity of first lady, there’s no good reason for you to be there anyway, unless it’s to put a smiling coat of shellack on a turd.

21. Richard Fucking Drake. You want to castrate all trans people using the ladies’ room? Newsflash, sparky: A lot of them have already had that work done…by a trained medical professional. Which you are not. And if you really cared about protecting innocent people from perverts in bathrooms, you’d castrate yourself and your fellow Repugs…because there’s a lot more bathroom banditry among your own.

22. Steve Fucking King. What is this, John Lewis Defamation Week? Fuck off, you insect. And no, the Congressional Black Caucus isn’t “self-segregating”, they’re a caucus because they work on behalf of the very people you and yours have segregated out of everything. Including the voting booth. Bye!devos-bear.jpg

23. Betsy DeFucking Vos. Is she actually planning on doing anything about campus rape…other than scrapping the federal title providing protection to sexual assault claimants? Just the fact that she’s hedging, instead of giving a firm answer, tells me she’s up to no damn good. PS: Are you fuckin’ shittin’ us, lady? Kids do NOT need guns in school! Even in Alberta and BC, grizzly bears are NOT that much of a problem!

24. Sabrina Fucking Pyle. Oh, so you thought it would be funny to serve fried chicken and watermelon for a Martin Luther King Day “special”? Funny how stereotypes aren’t funny to the people they’re stereotyping, innit? And who the hell eats chicken with waffles, anyway?

25. Richard Fucking Spencer. Der Drumpf, the “first step toward identity politics”? Actually, I hope he’s the last…and that it leads straight off a cliff. And takes YOU with it, fascist fuck. PS: Nice to see your ugly haircut get knocked sideways. That’s what you get for defiling the National Press Club building with your “DeploraBall” shit, Nazi-boy.

peoples-limo.jpg

26. Tony Fucking Tinderholt. Is it just me, or does this dude look like Jared Loughner’s evil twin? Certainly his far-right anti-choice legislation is the evil twin of Loughner’s gun-mad paranoia…and the fact that both are/were aimed at women is surely no coincidence, either.

27. Sean Fucking Spicer. Uh, dumbass? Ben Fucking Carson is not “Hispanic”. Neither are Elaine Fucking Chao or Nikki Fucking Haley. Minorities are not interchangeable, even though you and your idiot boss clearly think they are. PS: And advertising your idiot boss’s tacky hotels is conflict of interest, dumbass.

28. Jim Fucking Bakker. Der Drumpf is “born-again”? When did THAT happen? There’s zero evidence for it, beyond his habit of picking the worst charlatans to offer prayers at his farce. And here’s THIS joker, no doubt hoping for publicity — oh sorry, redemption. He’s so tired of hawking survivalist barf-in-a-bucket, folks. He smells MONEY! And he’s hoping to get it by hitching his wagon to what’s already a fast-falling star. Honestly, I can’t wait till God smites this one. And if it takes a teacup full of polonium-210, so be it.

this-is-fucked-up.jpg

29. Caitlyn Fucking Jenner. Well, she’s right about one thing: Repugs need help (and lots of it) understanding LGBT+ issues. But I doubt very much that she’s the one to teach them anything, since she still has so very much to learn herself…starting with the fact that her chosen party is no friend to HER.

30. Corey Fucking Lewandowski. What? He’s still here? And someone is still asking for his opinion and letting him babble it? Fuck right off, toadstool. And take your eight years of blinkers with you. If you don’t know or care what your own former boss has been saying for nearly a decade now, you’re worse than useless as a commentator. PS: Ha, ha.

31. Jeffrey Fucking Lord. No, dumbass, your boy was not one bit responsible for El Chapo undergoing extradition to the US for trial. He wasn’t in office when the order went out, remember? It’s been in the works since Barack Obama’s first term, FFS. And Drumpf won’t even start his first work day of his term until Monday, no doubt because he’ll be too hung over from all the drinking, coking and pussy-grabbing to start right away. So there is NO way he can take credit for this one, unless he owns a time machine.

privileges-showing.jpg

32. Dennis Fucking Hastert. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? First he paid one of his RAPE victims hush money so he wouldn’t talk about how Bastert RAPED him as a high schooler. Now that he’s talked about the RAPE, Bastert wants the hush money back. It’s like he’s RAPING him all over again, innit?

33. Steven Fucking Mnuchin. Who thinks that omitting to mention $100 million in assets is a mere “oversight”? Like it’s only worth a dime, or something? And really: Don’t guys this fucking rich have accountants and lawyers who take care of all their government paperwork, so disclosure isn’t so damn “complicated”? PS: Love the lame Cayman Islands excuses, too.

34. Stephen Fucking Harper. OMG, he actually still exists! And he actually TALKED! But what came out of his mouth is the most priceless of all. Go. Read it. Just READ it, already. And when you’ve done that, give thanks that he is no longer in office ANYWHERE here.

consider-canada.jpg

35. David Fucking Leyonhjelm. Who? Oh, just a semi-automatic assault-mouth who thinks his own verbal diarrhea is hee-larious. Australia, whack his peepee!

36. Rudy Fucking Giuliani. Yup, nothing like an inauguration luncheon to lend a little dignity to old farts telling dirty jokes about 9-11. (Too soon?)

37. Ben Fucking Packer. Because it wouldn’t be a wankapedia without an Israelly uncool wanker, and this one’s a major Drumpf/Spencer fan with major human-rights-abuse cred, to boot. And just think, he’s a rabbi! What fucking kind of rabbi roots for antisemites?

mourning-again.jpg

38. Cam Fucking Harris. First he tells the New York Times a sob-story about how he generated fake news about “Crooked Hillary” just to pay off his student loans. Poor millennial baby! Now the real truth emerges: He was a Repugnican operative all along, ratfucking and playing dirty tricks the way they all do. And he did more damage to US democracy than the Russians ever could. Why the FUCK is he not in jail right now, awaiting trial for treason? Oh yeah, I forgot: Meet the new boss, bigly-YUGELY worse than the old boss.

39. Mark Fucking Zuckerberg. Trying to sue native Hawaiians out of house and home (that they’ve held for generations) just so you can have a little beachfront retreat? How’s about a little Hawaiian punch, Fuckerberg?

40. Wolf Fucking Blitzer. Liar, liar, pants on…well, you know the drill. Voofy just couldn’t face the fact that his boy was preaching to an empty church, that’s all!

get-over-it.jpg

And finally, to the new fucking Drumpf Misadministration. Right away, within half an hour of taking possession, they scrubbed all reference to healthcare, the environment, and human rights from the White House website. What did they put in their place? Patriotic garbage galore, long on blah-blah and short on substance. No real plans, just big talk of Big Plans. Fake news and bogus crime stats; how predictable. And oh yeah: Ads for Tacky Onassis’s unimpressive QVC baubles. (The watch dial has a letter M instead of a number 12 — how much more tackily egocentric could one get? Don’t worry, he’s still even worse than she — or Ivanka, who also lost no time shilling HER wares.)

Meanwhile, if you’re a middle-class homeowner who’s barely keeping your head above water, great news: You’re already screwed. And the “Make America Great Again” hats are made in Vietnam, too. Somehow, though, I don’t see #MakeVietnamGreatAgain trending on Twitter anytime soon.

Gonna be a long four years, folks, although I still don’t foresee him lasting it out…because when he learns that politics is NOT just “the art of the deal” (at which Der Drumpfler sucks anyway, if his long list of bankruptcies and stiffed contractors is any indication), he’s gonna storm out of the White House in a snit. And a flurry of increasingly incoherent tweets, too. Mark my words.

Keep protesting. Keep punching fascists out, too. Hell, curb-stomp the motherfuckers. After all, they voted for him.

Good night, and don’t let your country get any more fucked!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off on Wankers of the Week: The Drumpf Inaugural Farce

Six agencies investigating Drumpf’s ties to Russia

SIX, you guys:

Incidentally, David Pakman here is the first reporter I’ve seen who’s actually talked about anything more concrete in these accusations than the usual, lazy “unnamed intelligence sources say…”. He actually talks about how the Internet trolls may have been paid by the Russian government, using a fund aimed at Russian pensioners living in the US. Mind you, there’s still no evidence that the trolls, hackers or what have you actually influenced the election, but something more concrete and less bombastic/preposterous than “Trump is in Putin’s pocket!” sure is welcome; it tells me Pakman at least is doing his due diligence here.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Der Drumpf, Filthy Stinking Rich, Newspeak is Nospeak, Spooks, Teh Russkies, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Six agencies investigating Drumpf’s ties to Russia

Dragons’ Den: Arlene dishes on Kevin O’Leary

Arlene Dickinson has some frank things to say about her former colleague on the CBC entrepreneur show. The scariest? That what you saw there is what you get. There is no “real Kevin” apart from the show. He really IS that big a narcissist and profiteer. And yes, he really IS like Drumpf. He’s also a “cut-and-run” type.

Incidentally, Arlene is the Dragon who had the most consistent track record for picking business winners on the show. Which leads me to believe that she isn’t just the “good cop” to O’Leary’s “bad” one. And which also proves that social conscience not only can be good for business…it actually outperforms cut-throat, narcissistic greed every single time.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Der Drumpf, Economics for Dummies, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't It Ironic?, Socialism is Good for Capitalism! | Comments Off on Dragons’ Den: Arlene dishes on Kevin O’Leary

Who hacked the US election? Someone did, but…

…it’s not who you probably thought:

That’s right, it wasn’t the Russians. It was the FBI. Specifically, BushCo’s designated FBI director, James Fucking Comey. Hacking it, in short, on behalf of Donald J. Drumpf, illegitimate PE(e)OTUS.

And it’s so appalling that even some Republicans are raising the alarm over it. The most prominent one? John McCain, who was not in the Republican leadership race this past year. So you can’t very well say it’s just the Dems who were “sore losers”. Or “Crooked Hillary”. Or even Repugs who were sore losers. McCain, remember, is a non-runner.

And most telling in this whole Dirty Donnie Dossier scandal? Drumpf himself is denying it in the most awkward way imaginable:

“It’s made up. Never existed. Never happened,” Trump continued, speaking specifically about the unverified report regarding the prostitutes. “And the reason I say that so strongly because nothing is ever going to show up. There’s never going to be a tape that shows up. There’s never going to be anything that shows up. Now, I would be very embarrassed if a tape actually showed up, saying something like that. It would be double embarrassed because I’m saying there is no tape. There is no event. I was never even in that room for that period of time.”

So…he WAS there, and he DID specifically order call girls to wet the bed while he watched, and it’s all down on tape too, but…at another time than the one claimed? Okeydokey, Old Smokey.

Also worthy of note:

“It started with the Republican Party when they tried to beat me in the nomination and it went on. The Democrats took over the work, supposedly,” Trump continued. “And by the intelligence giving it credence by just even talking about it — it was very inappropriate. So I don’t know who the leaker was. I have no idea, but it’s fake news.”

So it’s fake news, but it was “leaked” and he doesn’t know by whom, but it was obviously one of his own rivals from within the Republican party? Okay, Donnie, whatever you say.

Lord knows you can’t even keep your fake stories straight for shit.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Der Drumpf, Isn't That Illegal?, Spooks, Teh Russkies, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Who hacked the US election? Someone did, but…

Have the mainstream media finally found their (hind) legs?

Will it soon be time to retire this poster? Stay tuned…

Well. Here’s something I never thought I’d see. The media are actually standing up to a monumentally corrupt, crapitalist, far-right politician! And it’s one they helped to put in power, too! Seems that the whole “what the fuck, let’s promote the shit out of him, he’ll net some extra eyeballs (and ad cash) for us” schtick hasn’t worked out so well for them, since he’s now calling them the “lying press” (a word he clearly can’t pronounce in German and ain’t even gonna try, as it’s longer than two syllables and requires more than a ten-year-old’s reading skills). So now they’re gonna do something unheard of in the history of corporate media, and actually stand up to this bully…or so they say:

Now, before the Committee to Protect Journalists throws up the batsign and the rest of us bemoan Trump’s actions as anti-press — which they are — let’s thank the incoming president for simplifying our mission. If Trump’s idea of a news conference is to spank the press, if his lieutenants believe the press needs shutting down, if his chief of staff wants to speculate about moving the White House press scrum off the premises, perhaps reporters ought to take the hint and prepare to cover his administration on their own terms. Instead of relying exclusively on the traditional skills of political reporting, the carriers of press cards ought to start thinking of covering Trump’s Washington like a war zone, where conflict follows conflict, where the fog prevents the collection of reliable information directly from the combatants, where the assignment is a matter of life or death.

In his own way, Trump has set us free. Reporters must treat Inauguration Day as a kind of Liberation Day to explore news outside the usual Washington circles. He has been explicit in his disdain for the press and his dislike for press conferences, prickly to the nth degree about being challenged and known for his vindictive way with those who cross him. So, forget about the White House press room. It’s time to circle behind enemy lines.

That all sounds very rally-the-troops-around-the-flaggy, but what exactly does it mean?

Well, according to the article, it apparently means scrapping the “you tell me what I need to know, I’ll listen to what you want me to report” approach that’s obviously done fuck-all for both media credibility and the public interest, and which has only truly been of service to the lobbyists who bought the politicians and their flunkies in the first place. Or, if I’m reading this correctly: Since no one wants to play softball anymore, time to break out the hardballs?

Apparently, the answer is yes:

The press has already started to prepare itself for such a Trumpian lockout by pursuing news angles that rely less on official access than usual. At the Washington Post, the newspaper has assembled a team that includes the much-lauded foundation-buster David Fahrenthold to investigate Trump’s business dealings and conflicts of interest and potential violations of the Emoluments Clause. The Wall Street Journal just explored how Trump’s debt to more than 150 financial institutions (more than $1.5 billion than he has admitted to in disclosure forms) may create potential conflicts of interest for him.

Opportunities to ignore the White House minders and investigate Trump announce themselves almost daily. For instance, the load-bearing walls of the Office of Government Ethics are groaning with the weight of filings by his appointees, as the New York Times reported earlier this month. Trump has installed the “wealthiest cabinet in modern American history,” the Times says. Its website has already crashed from public queries and the OGE director has denounced the Trump plan to avoid conflict of interest as “wholly inadequate.” Reporters will be mining these forms for months and producing damaging results without any Trump administration confirmation or cooperation.

As Trump shuts down White House access to reporters, they will infest the departments and agencies around town that the president has peeved. The intelligence establishment, which Trump has deprecated over the issue of Russian hacking, owes him no favors and less respect. It will be in their institutional interest to leak damaging material on Trump. The same applies to other bureaucracies. Will a life-long EPA employ take retirement knowing he won’t be replaced, or if he is, by somebody who will take policy in a direction he deplores? Such an employee could be a fine source. Trump, remember, will only be president, not emperor, and as such subject to all the passive-aggressive magic a bureaucracy can produce. Ditto the Pentagon, the State Department, the FBI, and even conventionally newsless outposts like Transportation and Labor.

In other words: Never mind the Drumpf bollocks, here are the stone-cold facts…AND the Little People Behind the Scenes! Gosh, suddenly THEY matter. A lot more than they ever have since Woodward and Bernstein broke the Watergate scandal. Will wonders never cease?

Meanwhile, the Columbia Journalism Review has thrown down the gauntlet, too. You can read their entire (feisty!) open letter to Drumpf here.

And even more remarkably, the Little People are now crowd-sourcing the media’s work. Buzzfeed, for instance, is enlisting its readers’ help in mapping all the connections in Drumpf’s business dealings. Plenty of crunchy nuggets for the press to feast on in there, I’m sure. And plenty of old (and still potentially impeachable) scandals should turn up too. The public is now doing the grunt-work of both the Fourth Estate AND the houses of congress, in other words.

All I can say to this is that it’s about time that the press AND the public have finally woken from their slumber and decided to get off their duffs. Lord knows it’s late enough. Let’s hope they can keep this up, because it could be a long four years.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Bullies, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Good to Know, If You REALLY Care, Isn't It Ironic?, Newspeak is Nospeak, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Have the mainstream media finally found their (hind) legs?

Quotable: John Lewis on activism

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Heroes for Today, Quotable Notables, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Quotable: John Lewis on activism

Washington is all dork-sadded now.

Brace yourselves, people. The skies over Washington, DC, are getting heavy with a growing cloud of smarm:

Like angels from heaven, hundreds of “prayer warriors” have descended on Washington D.C. to undertake a crucial mission: protect U.S. President-elect Donald Trump by building a “prayer shield” around him ahead of his Jan. 20 inauguration.

Among these prayer warriors are the members of a new group called POTUS Shield (as in President of the United States) who gathered inside the National Press Club on Thursday, CBN News reported.

Pastor Eric Majette from Virginia Beach, Virginia said POTUS Shield is composed of pastors from all over America.

“We’re actually a prayer group. We pray for leaders across our nation — a group of pastors come together to pray for our nation and our leaders, particularly the new administration,” he said.

“Angels from heaven”? More like rubes from the trailer park. You know, those places God keeps throwing tornadoes and hurricanes at to warn people against living there and believing in specious garbage?

I bet these mighty warriors were also nowhere in sight for the last president when it came HIS turn to take office, eh?

Oh, and guess who else will be there, embarrassing her poor family…

Speaking at the gathering, Alveda King, the niece of famed civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the director of Civil Rights for the Unborn, said they are counting on God to bring sweeping positive changes to America.

“We’re really not looking for Mr. Trump or any human to change America, but we know God can and will do it,” she said.

Civil rights for all the minorities who are still oppressed? Piss on that, we’s prayin’ for TEH BAYBEEEEEEEEZ! Which of course will get produced willy-nilly, whether anyone can afford them or not, since Drumpf’s new Congress (the opposite of Progress) has already decided to defund anything and deny insurance coverage to anything which could prevent their conception.

I wonder if this woman will also be there:

Sweet Jesus, it’s all so DORK-SADDED! Rebuke it! REBUKE IT, I SAY!!!

PS: “Rebuke” means “to scold”. It seems accurate somehow.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Pissing Jesus Off, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Washington is all dork-sadded now.

Music for a Sunday: One for Melania Knauss

All snark aside, I actually feel sorry for her being married to THAT PERSON. How sorry? THIS SONG sorry.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Der Drumpf, Music for a Sunday | Comments Off on Music for a Sunday: One for Melania Knauss

Wankers of the Week: The Drumpfocalypse Inches Nearer

one-tweet-over-the-line.jpg

Crappy weekend, everyone! Brace yer ovaries and grab yer rosaries, the global nightmare is lurching closer every day. It’s Friday the 13th, Flight 666 has landed safely in HEL, and that’s not the scariest part. It’s now just one week until THAT DAY. You know, the one in which the US as we know it (shitty and imperfect as it so often is) commences its long journey down the black hole of the Space-Time Continuum? Yeah. THAT day. Everyone knows it’s gonna suck, the question is only how hard. As for the following, well…we already know just how much THEY blow:

1. Katy Fucking Talento. For the umpteen thousand and umpty-umpth time: NO, THE PILL DOES NOT CAUSE ABORTIONS AND INFERTILITY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. It prevents them by preventing ovulation! Hey, kiddies, see what happens when you don’t have comprehensive sex ed, but you DO have purity culture? You get poopy everywhere! And just think, Drumpf hired this. Drumpf hired Teh Stoopid. But he has a YUGE brain! The YUGEST!!!

2. Bryan Fucking Fischer. Oh dear, someone has forgotten Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli. Anybody want to remind him of what it says? Because it’s still valid to this day…

3. Paul Fucking Ryan. How scared is this chickenshit? So scared that he had to hire six security guards to stop a petition from being delivered to his office. Rugged individualists are such fragile snowflakes, aren’t they? PS: Lest you think the graphic below is an exaggeration, I can assure you it is NOT.

paul-ryan-alternatives.jpg

4. Shai Fucking Masot. Surprise! Repugs in the US are not the only ones adept at wanking an election in their favor. Israeli “diplomats” in the UK are the same! Gee, I wonder where they learned THAT from! PS: Oh look, they tried to undermine Jeremy Corbyn, too. What a pity no one was fooled. PPS: Sign, sign, sign!

5. Don Fucking MacIntyre. Oh look, here’s one of those imbeciles that Neil Fucking Macdonald thinks we should stop snarking about because being ridiculed somehow “empowers” them. As though listening to them politely and treating their bullshit as equal to fact somehow doesn’t do that.

6. Martin Fucking Shkreli. Oh look, PharmaBro is back in the news again! And this time it’s for harassing a Teen Vogue writer for daring to criticize his boy, Der Drumpf. And of course, he’s going the SEXUAL harassment route, because bros gonna bro, and got his troll army to brigade her, too. Creepy is as creepy does, and this douchebag is a creepo supremo. (Also, barely literate troll is barely literate.)

meryl-streep-rich-celeb.jpg

7. Jim Fucking Crichton. When a little girl has to ask her mother tearful questions about the N-word you said in her presence, that’s when you KNOW you’re a racist. But I guess mom and daughter are the real racists for making an issue of your racism, eh?

8. James O’Fucking Keefe. Oh dear, yet another prank “gotcha” video by the ineptly-named Project Veritas, gone belly-up before it could even be shot. How embarrassing! I guess he’ll just have to disrupt the Drumpf Inaugural Farce all by his widdle wonesome!

9. Kevin O’Fucking Leary. Oh look who was in Florida, addressing all the Con-job snowbirds. Yeah, that guy from Dragons’ Den, the one who thinks he’s gonna be Drumpf of the North. How about NO? Also, fuck Drumpf and fuck YOU for calling him “king”. King of piss is all he is.

10. Tomi Fucking Lahren. Why?

tomi-lahren-elite.png

Hey 1% shill, go cry harder about reverse racism and other imaginary shit. And this time, put some real feeling into it, because no one is fooled. Or, in other words: You’re not earning your inflated salary. PS: And looky here. I think we finally know why she doesn’t sound sincere!

11. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. Judge Drumpf by what’s in his heart, not what’s coming out of his mouth? Ooooooo, girl, considering that whole PEEOTUS story that just came out, you sure picked the wrong choice of words there! And what’s in the heart of a man who hires prostitutes to piss on a bed the Obamas slept in, anyway? (For that matter: WHAT FUCKING HEART???) PS: Ooooo, this “worst instincts” stuff sure opens up its own can of worms, does it not?

12. Ayelet Fucking Shaked. Oh lord, it’s her again. Ms. Little Snakes. And once more, she falls on the side of settlers, colonization, and apartheid — and of course, good ol’ Nazified Der Drumpf. How I wish a wall would fall on HER.

drumpf-seat-filler.jpg

13. Yelena Fucking Mizulina. Domestic violence is a whole lot more than just “a slap”. But thanks for letting abusers off with no more than one of those on the wrist. And thanks for telling the world that Russian family culture and traditions are really just all about the patriarchy and the beatings! You actually managed to make Pooty-Poot look good, Serena Joy.

14. Marie Fucking Osmond. Much as it pains me to include someone I watched on TV as a kid, include her I must…because Marie is one of those “we have to unite” ones. Never mind that the US is being called upon to “unite” behind a man whose entire campaign is built on divisiveness, and whose entire career is built on fraud. No, she’s volunteering to sing at the inaugural farce because it’s the uniting thing to do! Hey, Marie? If they tap you, please sing “Paper Roses”…and dedicate it to the Drumpfs’ marriage.

15. Al Fucking D’Amato. Meanwhile, on board a plane, a former US senator and current Drumpf supporter tried to lead a passenger revolt…and got ejected for it. Buhbye, bozo!

blotus.jpg

16. Amanda Fucking Willis. Because it wouldn’t be a wankapedia without someone from Florida screwing everything up royally, here’s Florida Woman…getting rip-roaring drunk on Fireball whisky at her best friend’s wedding reception, then getting into a brawl and stealing the best man’s car and almost running him over with it. Maid of Honor is clearly becoming a term of irony these days.

17. Peter Fucking Thiel. Oh look, it’s the case for kakistocracy, being made by a pile of ca-ca. Freedom from corruption is “boring” and a “bad thing”? Funny you should say that, Petey. Because if not for your influence — dare I call it INTERFERENCE? — the most crooked and corrupt administration in US history (if not the entire world) wouldn’t be about to take office. Yeah, that’s right, I’m not blaming the Russians for that…why would I need to when the real problem is so much closer at hand, and at home?

18. Bill O’Fucking Reilly. Yeah, HIM again. And he’s a LITERAL wanker this week. Turns out that Andrea Mackris wasn’t the only FUX Snooze employee he harassed with his gross-ass sexual fantasies. There was another woman, and her name is Juliet Huddy. And at least once, he called her up while he was literally wanking. Billo, at long last, have you no shame?

alt-right-unmasked.jpg

19 and 20. Jack Fucking Posobiec and Tim Fucking Gionet. “Rape Melania”? Now, now, you “alt”-Reich dumpster fires, don’t be giving Der Drumpf any more vile ideas. Seems to me he’s raped quite enough women and girls as it is. Also, ha, ha — your unmasking sure looks good on you, Nazi-boys!

21. Richard Fucking Spencer. And speaking of Nazi-boys, look who’s moving to Washington, DC. Yup, the dowdy — oh sorry, “dapper” suit-and-tie Nazi from Montana who thinks he’s started something. With his ugly haircut and poorly pronounced German? Don’t make me fucking laugh. Oh wait, he couldn’t even scare up an extra $60 for a measly parade permit to scare the Jews back home! Ha, ha. Whoops, there I go, laughing at fascists again. I just can’t help it!

22. Andrew Fucking Anglin. And just to round out the list of Nazi wankers, here’s this guy, whining about how he hasn’t heard back from the ACLU yet. Well, fucking DUH, dude — do you seriously think your plan to harass Jews constitutes “free speech”? There’s a reason why hate-crime legislation is actually popular, and no, it’s not an alien lizard Rothschild conspiracy!

drumpf-angry.png

23. Randy Fucking Weber. Eight years of disrespect to a black Democratic president, and suddenly he’s badgering the press to “respect” a bogus billionaire who’s earned bupkus? Pffft.

24. Kellie Fucking Leitch. “Drain the [Rideau] Canal of influence paddlers [sic] and lobbyists”, she says…while holding expensive fundraisers, attended by lobbyists, for herself. Does this woman even listen to herself? PS: Apparently not. And she’s forgotten another thing: Smart or stupid is in what you do, not in what’s tagged onto your name!

25. Ben Fucking Carson. It’s not his intention to do anything to benefit any American, he says? Well, THAT’s obvious! And just think, kiddies, this man has an MD. He and #24 are proof that you don’t need much in the way of brains or a conscience to become a doctor, and that’s fucking SCARY.

26. Paul Fucking Anka. He’s planning to sing a modified version of “My Way” for his ol’ buddy Drumpf’s inauguration? Well, then, I think it’s only fair that we all refer to him from now on as Paul Wanka. PS: Well, looky here. Somebody IS intimidated, after all!

friday-the-20th.png

27. Marine Le Fucking Pen. What have we here? Oh, nothing. Just one fascist paying a social call to another at his humble abode. Why do you ask?

28. Bruce Fucking Borders. So, trans people won’t be able to change their birth certificates in Indiana, thanks to him? I would ask what unlucky star he was born under, but I just know it’s Anus Major.

29. Cory Fucking Booker. He dropped his prog-cred in the toilet yesterday by voting against cheaper drugs from Canada; now he’s flushed it by letting Ivanka Fucking Drumpf host a ritzy fundraiser for him. You know what to do, New Jersey readers…don’t you?

30. Bob Fucking Thorpe. Just like #28, he’s bound and determined to drag his state back into the Dark Ages. Arizona, your move!

doonesbury-predicts.jpg

And finally, to the 13 fucking Democrats who voted against cheaper drugs for their fellow US citizens. I’ve already noted #29 as being one of them. What were their motives? In a word, MOOLAH. The drug companies bought and paid for them. And it looks like they got their wish…IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, LIKE THE TRUE COWARDS THEY ALL ARE. May your political careers be nasty, brutish and short, you guys, because YOU are the reason your fellow US-Americans have lost confidence in the Democratic party. When there’s so little difference between you and your Repug opponents, what’s the use of voting at all?

And that, incidentally, is why you’re in such deep shit now. Time to stop blaming the Russkies, and time to start looking in the mirror. Long and hard.

Good night, and get fucked!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off on Wankers of the Week: The Drumpfocalypse Inches Nearer