Music for a Sunday: When people run in circles

…it’s a very very…

Sit and listen. Sit and listen.

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Wankers of the Week: The cream in the Keurig covfefe

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Crappy weekend, everyone! And a super-duper-double-looper crappy one to all the feckin’ eejits out there who smashed their coffee machines in the name of protecting a pious hypocrite who never met a girl he couldn’t molest…unless she was over 18. I don’t want to know what you all put in your coffee, I’m just glad it’s not in the water up here. Because that shit’s toxic as hell…just like these people, listed here in no particular order:

1. Steve Fucking Bannon. Yeah, good luck trying to discredit Roy Fucking Moore’s accusers, Ginblossoms. I can hardly wait for the skeletons in your own vomit-reeking closet to come tumbling out.

2. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. Uh, sweetie…you DO realize that if what you said were actually done, then not only your own boss, but virtually every male elected official with an R after his name would have to step down, right?

3. Mercedes Fucking Colwin. Women lie all the time about sexual assault…for money? Huh. If that were the case, we’d all be as filthy stinking rich as you are, lying for money by defending rapists as part of your Biglaw job, dear. But we’re not. And we’re still sorely lacking in political clout, too. How ‘bout THEM apples? PS: Aaaand you’re fired. Ha, ha.

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4. Mary Fucking Franson. No, a trans woman is not a “guy who thinks he’s a girl”, much less a “guy with a mental health condition”. And your God-bothering “apology” is NOT an apology, either. But you sure ARE a sorry excuse for a state representative. And with any luck, after the next election, you’ll be a sorry-ass incompetent who’s out of a cushy job. And then nobody will have to be kind and indulge YOUR fantasies any longer.

5. Sandy Fucking Rios. Yeah, most people DO have something sexual that they’re not proud of. But molesting a teenager is usually NOT it, because that’s not about sex…it’s about POWER, stupid. PS: And no, Jesus was not accused of molesting girls. Try comparing apples to apples, idiot.

6. Richard Fucking Keith. Bull-fucking-SHIT you didn’t know you were running over a Latino kid and not a garbage can. And also, bull-fucking-SHIT times two that you have a bright future ahead of you. Dude, you’re 50. For the average man, that’s over the hill. And no one gives a shit about your social life. Your mile-long rap sheet, on the other hand…

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7. Brandon Fucking Moseley. What the hell does Barack Obama’s alleged prior cocaine use, or Bill Clinton’s alleged pot-smoking, have to do with anything? Hell if I know, but one of ol’ Roy Boy’s defenders seems to think it’s germane to the subject, and maybe even somehow worse than his guy molesting a string of teenage girls. Um, NO. No, it is NOT. PS: WTF even is this? Ugh.

8. Kayla Fucking Moore. So, I guess you and those 50 alleged pastors are all okay with your hubby-dear being a child molester too, eh? Well, one of you is…and it ain’t the pastors!

9. Mike Fucking Cernovich. No, dude, nobody hates you because you have a nuclear family (which, one day, when your wife and daughter find out just how much of an ass you really are, will fucking EXPLODE, with all the radioactive fallout, like your buddy Alex’s did). Everybody hates you because you’re a failed lawyer turned conspiracy-mongering dipshit who peddles stupid pickup artistry and fake health hacks, and who seriously thinks there’s a pedophile ring operating out of the basement of a pizza joint that doesn’t even HAVE a basement.

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10. Liz Fucking Crokin. Never mind that Roy Fucking Moore actually used his lawyering as a means of grooming and isolating his young victims. No, let’s ban The Wizard of Oz, because that’s how the nonexistent Illuminati recruit their equally nonexistent child sex slaves!

11. Tomi Fucking Lahren. Lord only knows why the crapitalist “student” astroturf group Turning Point USA uses her to taunt so-called “liberal snowflakes”, because she’s made a career out of crying, screaming and tantrum-tossing over losing causes…and so have they. Oh wait, I guess that explains everything! As does the fact that their initials also stand for Toilet Paper — which, ironically, is just what their arguments are made of.

12. Mo Fucking Brooks. If ever you needed proof that conservatives stand for nothing and fall for everything, here you go. A living dinosaur for your fossil records!

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13. Tom Fucking Sizemore. Who else is surprised that a madam-beating dirtbag actor turns out also to be a child-molesting dirtbag actor? No one? Thought as much. I guess we also shouldn’t be surprised that unlike the victims of his depredations, his career didn’t miss many beats, even though any one of the things he did should have been the end of it.

14. Bill Fucking Morneau. Please, please, please, don’t let him be misunderstood? Don’t worry, Bill, nobody “misunderstands” you. We all know quite well what’s going on. You’re not the first filthy stinking rich man in this country to hide his assets in tax havens, or to then turn around and pretend to be some breed of “underdog”!

15. Don Fucking Shooter. And down goes another Gropey Old Pervert who thought he’d waltz off with the same old immunity. And gee, I’m really starting to like this new climate of men being careful and scared. It’s a welcome change when you consider who has usually had to be that way!

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16. Teresa Fucking Hawthorne. Gee, for a judge, you sure are awfully…what’s the word I’m looking for here? PREJUDICED, that’s it. And awfully unsympathetic to your fellow woman. And awfully eager to usurp the jury’s duty on behalf of that rapist you’re favoring. Maybe it’s time you looked for another job.

17. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. And surprise surprise, another predator speaks out on behalf of ol’ Roy…with a dumbshit partisan defence that does nothing to explain why he did it. That’s cute, Rusty, real cute. Next time, remember, it’s not party politics that makes men predators, it’s the SEXISM, stupid.

18. Morgan Fucking Brandfors. Bull-fucking-SHIT you didn’t know what day it was when you planned your “it’s okay to be racist” rally, Nazi scum. It was the anniversary of a racist murder, and you KNEW it. And how typically Nazi, too, to excuse racism as “pride” through a system of dogwhistles that aren’t fooling anyone. As though being white was some kind of achievement, instead of a mere accident of biology. If that’s the thing you’re most proud of, it doesn’t say much for what you’ve done with your life.

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19. Josh Fucking Fatzick. And speaking of racist dogwhistlers, here’s one who works for the Voice of America…as though it wasn’t already full to the rafters with far-right crapaganda. Let’s see how long before he’s out of a job, out of a girlfriend, and just plain OUT.

20. Troy Fucking Nehls. Fuck Donnie Drumpf, fuck whoever voted for him…and fuck anyone who’d bust somebody just for speaking their mind about it, too. Free speech isn’t just for right-wingers, you know!

21. Trenton Fucking Garmon. No, Muslims aren’t in favor of “dating” underage girls, or arranging “marriages” with them either. You’re thinking of your so-called Christian client, stupid.

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22. Bob Fucking Coy. Well, looky here. Another pious hypocrite with mighty short eyes has been popped. This is getting to be something of a pattern with the southern Religious Reich, isn’t it?

23. Julie Fucking Banderas. No, dear, the Baby Jesus did NOT call for Roy Fucking Moore to step down. That would be everybody with a brain…which excludes him automatically.

24. Wes Fucking Goodman. Meanwhile, look who has a wide stance! Yes, another fucking “family values” hypocrite in the Gropey Old Party. And he wants “privacy” for his “family”, which is the product of his “natural marriage”? Uh, how about NO?

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25. Brett Fucking Talley. You still have doubts as to whether Donnie Fucking Drumpf is mentally competent to be president? Feast your eyes on his latest federal judicial nominee. Not only has he never lawyered at a trial, he’s also dead stupid about adults and under-age teens, Roe v. Wade, and oh yeah…”the first KKK”.

26. Sarah Fucking Palin. She claims she’s “never been sexually harassed” because she’s “packing”? I’d say it’s more likely that she’s just too dumb to know when anyone’s been harassing her. Or — even more likely — so desperate for attention that she actually welcomes everything, including the inappropriate kind.

27. Roger Fucking Stone. Riddle me this: How does a batshit troll who’s been banned from Twitter not only manage to tweet, but apparently also have foreknowledge of Al Franken’s old lame jokes supposedly coming back to bite him? Answer: He’s a ratfucker. He has his little ways. And now Twitter has at least two more Stone accounts to ban.

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28. Louie Fucking Gohmert. LOLwut? Um, nope. Although if the whole Roy Fucking Moore kerfuffle also takes down Steve Fucking Bannon somehow, even by accident, I won’t complain.

29. James Fucking Sears. Finally, FINALLY, some hate crime charges for Dimitri the Hater. Let it never be said that our human-rights laws aren’t good for something up here. Now, about those “seduction” classes…

30. Ivanka Fucking Drumpf. Not that she’s wrong about ol’ Roy Boy, but…everything she says about him is equally applicable to her own old man, if not more so. Juuuuuust sayin’.

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And finally, to Steve Fucking Mnuchin and Louise Fucking Linton, who just couldn’t resist rubbing the nation’s currency all over their wanking, stanking carcasses yet AGAIN. If you wonder why your greenbacks smell so bad, Yanks, now you know: ’tis the stench of utmost corruption, total lack of character, and complete disregard for humanity. And it’s a slap in the face for anyone who has to grub so hard for just a few of those lousy sheets of paper.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Dumbest protest ever, courtesy of pedo-apologists

Yes, that’s right, folks, the Hardcore Stupid in the US of Amnesia are out there smashing their Keurig coffee machines. Why? Because they think that by standing up for a child molester who has all kinds of icky eyes for under-age girls, they’ll somehow piss off the liberals and the much more leftist likes of me.

Actually, I’m just amused as fuck by all this. Not least because (a) I’m a tea drinker. Have been for years. I don’t drink coffee more than once in a very blue moon. My heart, nerves and stomach all hate it, even if my taste buds don’t. Coffee just turns my innards into a writhing nopetopus of NOPE. And (b) even if I did drink a lot of coffee, I sure as hell wouldn’t bother with a single-serving pod machine, because what coffee lover only wants one cup per brewing? Oh, and (c) those pods only end up in garbage dumps, being neither recyclable nor biodegradable. Bad bargain!

I’ve never owned a Keurig, or wanted to. I’m not a bit bothered by their no longer advertising on the Baby Jesus’s shitshow, either, because that show’s even worse than unrecyclable coffee crap.

So no, I’m not a bit “triggered” by seeing all these bozos smashing theirs. Hell, it’s THEIR fistful of dollars that’s getting thrown off a balcony, hit with a golf club by some geezer with a “wide stance” (!), or sledgehammered by someone whose fashion sense is obviously as poor as his sense of economy and ecology. Not mine.

The only thing this whole spectacle triggers in me is an unholy urge to laugh my ass off at how stupid they all are. These are, after all, the same people who think that “rolling coal” is somehow going to get to the likes of me, as though their own lungs weren’t going to suffer that much more for having to breathe in their own stupid smoke.

Hey, whatever happened to all those righturds who wanted Hillary Clinton strung up over an imaginary pedophile ring operating out of a pizza joint that didn’t even have a basement, much less a sex dungeon in it? Whatever happened to all those “concerned Christian parents” (note the quotes, there for a reason) who wanted to protect their hapless daughters from an imaginary army of trans women barging into public ladies’ rooms and pulling their pants down in front of everyone? Why are they suddenly so silent about this gross old geezer and his dirty “jokes” that denigrate all grown-ass women, including his long-suffering wife, who went so far as to forge a letter from 50 preachers to stick up for him?

And bear in mind, too, that this is all happening against a backdrop of a sixth woman coming forward to say ol’ Roy groped her at the courthouse, and that even the local shopping mall had to bar him because he was just such a blatant and persistent pest whenever high school girls were bopping around.

I can only conclude that these morons are quite all right with some DA (that’s short for Dickish Abuser, kiddies) using his position to pick on underage girls and “date” them…with their mamas’ “permission”, of course.

Stupid fucking hypocrites, please pwn yourselves some more. And please, DO film yourselves at it, because we could all use the comic relief.

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Posted in Environmentally Ill, Isn't It Ironic?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Schadenfreude, Sick Frickin' Bastards, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Dumbest protest ever, courtesy of pedo-apologists

Dowdy Dickie gets dissed!

Ahem. Just a little theme music to get you in the mood for what’s to come, folkies. I’m a bit under the weather (read: sore and stiff from all the cold and damp), but I’m always in the mood to be amused. And when I stumbled upon this piece from Julie Hill yesterday, I just knew I was in for a real treat. Because there is more than one way to punch the shit out of Dowdy Dickie Spencer and his stupid haircut, you know.

So please enjoy these highlights, with occasional commentary from me:

In über-hipster Berlin, Richard Spencer stood out like a poo in a punchbowl. He was the embodiment of preppy: his hair rigidly gelled to one side, his clothing perma-pressed and immaculate. But he was, initially at least, friendly and charming, and handsome in a big-faced Buzz Lightyear kind of way. And it pains me to say it, but his German was excellent, although his accent was diabolical.

Oh honey, NO. I don’t beg to differ, I straight-up DEMAND to. Dickie’s German is terrible, and his accent is the worst. The man can’t even umlaut his way out of a wet paper bag. Take it from this native speaker whose first language IS German: Anyone who says “LOOGENpresse” when he’s trying to paint the mainstream media as liars is not only a liar himself, but an unconvincing German speaker to boot. Don’t let his “charm” fool you, Dickie cannot speak German any more than I can speak Bullshit. (Which I’m pretty sure is Dickie’s native tongue.)

That night, we met at a Vietnamese restaurant

IRONY ALERT. IRONY ALERT. Mr. White Ethnostate himself is not above eating at a non-white ethnic restaurant, one of the same that are “deconstructing European culture”, to quote his own pustulent words.

We chatted about our backgrounds. He told me he and some of his other family members owned a bunch of “farms” somewhere in the South. Said “farms” turned out to be a vast swath of cotton plantations in Louisiana, the kind African slaves were forced to work on for free. But we’ll get to that.

What’s this? A sly and subtle dig at how Dickie came by all his unearned wealth, as well as his white-supremacist leanings? Yum!

By the end of our meal Spencer still had a tiny bit of food on his plate, and he asked the waiter if he could have it to take away. The waiter frowned and said “really?” because it was such a small amount, but Spencer wasn’t embarrassed. I later learned that he couldn’t cook so much as a piece of toast, seemingly because he was too posh, so taking away tiny morsels of food from restaurants was the only way he could stay alive.

Ladies and gentlemen, observe this prime specimen of the Master Race™, who can’t even fucking make his own toast without setting off a smoke alarm. No wonder he and his ilk need subservient women to look after them, and no wonder no self-respecting woman will volunteer for the job.

The apartment was owned by a businessman in his seventies. It what I imagine a Masonic lodge might look like, with dark wooden panelling and a moose’s head hanging in the hallway. Spencer showed me photos of the man in his youth, chatting up an array of foxy ladies. It was clear that Spencer aspired to become this old German guy some day.

Well, a dick can dream, I suppose. But no, Dickie, trust me, German women like their men to be competent, not just confident. Last time they fell for a schmuck who could only schmooze, they wound up with World War II and the 12-Year Reich, remember?

We sat at a table in the kitchen, where Spencer told me about a game he liked to play called “Lesbian or just German?”, the idea being that German women were so hairy and asexual that one couldn’t tell the difference. I was beginning to think this guy might be a bit of an arsehole.

Beginning? A bit? I do believe we have a contender for Understatement of the Year here, folks.

Later, he confirmed my suspicions by going on an unprompted rant about why Mexicans shouldn’t be let into the United States.

Oh yeah, that’s why: Because Mexican chicas won’t have Dickie, either.

In the middle of the night, the door opened. Spencer was standing there wearing only his grey fitted boxer shorts. Evidently, he’d thoroughly misinterpreted my burning desire to improve my grammar. He said “hi”. I said “fuck off”. Thankfully, he did.

And there you have it, folks. Tricky Dickie’s ineffable seduction technique. This is why German women all grew out their body hair and lost their libidos the instant they spotted his lacquered fashy cut bobbling along in their general direction.

There is a German word that applies well to Spencer: Backpfeifengesicht. It means “a face that is crying out for a slap”. In class, he would go off on lengthy, tedious monologues that had even our teacher rolling his eyes. On one occasion, he and I ended up in a stand-up shouting match, during which I had to switch to English because there aren’t enough good swear words in German. Our class was composed of people of all ages, from all walks of life, and from all parts of the planet, but if there was one thing that united us, it was that we hated Richard Spencer’s guts.

Gee, I wonder why.

Also, pro tip for all you students of German: There is no insult in the language that can’t be improved by tacking Nazi- and/or Scheiß- onto the front of it. So there’s no need for as many swear-words in German as there are in English. You can convert any ordinary word into a cussword just by sticking an obscenity on as a prefix. Example: Richard Spencer ist eine doofe Nazi-Scheißposaune.

(Yes, that’s right, I literally called him a stupid trombone full of Nazi shit. Waa, waa, waa, waaaaaaa.)

At the time, Spencer was a PhD student at Duke University in North Carolina. During one of his unprompted tirades, he told us about a case going on there in which a stripper had accused three lacrosse players of rape. She was black, they were white, and it was being viewed as a hate crime. I remember the room falling silent when Spencer suggested that the lacrosse players (who were later found innocent) couldn’t have done it, because why would they want to have sex with a black woman?

Why indeed, Dickie? Surely not for the same reason your plantation-owning ancestors raped their slave women, eh?

There was something tragic about Spencer. He knew people despised him, but seemed kind of used to it. I remember him telling me wistfully that this was his third summer learning German abroad, but he still hadn’t met a nice girl.

Oh, Dickie, I hate to break this to you, but you DID meet nice German girls. They just all rejected you for the same reasons any self-respecting woman who has learned the lessons of history would! The problem isn’t us, it’s YOU. And it could be solved easily enough by just waking the fuck up to yourself and rotating all your political views 180 degrees, instead of trying to bend the world to your pathetic will.

The year after our course, Spencer quit Duke to, in his own words, “pursue a life of thought crime”. He became assistant editor at The American Conservative magazine, but was fired because his views were too extreme. In 2010, he founded AlternativeRight.com, advocating for a “white ethno-state on the North American continent” and giving up “the false dreams of equality and democracy”.

See, Dickie, this is why no nice girls want you, and why everybody who looks at your Backpfeifengesicht just instantly goes off. You couldn’t have picked a more losing political viewpoint if you tried!

On our last day of term, my German class staged a mutiny. Our teacher had encouraged us to make speeches to each other improve our spoken German, an offer no one had so far taken up. Spencer was a huge fan of the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writing he had interpreted to mean that there was simply no point bothering with morality. (“A little bit of Nietzsche in the wrong hands can be fatal,” quipped my Parisian classmate Pascal.)

The thought of spending the last hour of class, on a day that was hot as holy hell, listening to Spencer rant about Nietschze was simply unbearable, so after the kleine Pause, everyone but Richard walked out of school and went over the road for a beer. Later, our teacher admitted he saw us crossing the road from his office window, and silently cheered.

I can’t imagine why. I mean, wasn’t he in awe of Dickie’s misinterpretation of Nietzsche? Weren’t you all?

All kidding aside, though: Julie Hill, my hat’s off to you. You’re probably going to receive all kinds of hate mail and death threats from the Freeze Peach Nazis, but I have to admit, it’s very satisfying to see my opinions confirmed. Dickie, even before his supposed “Road to Damascus” decision to pursue “a life of thought crime”, was already an insufferable ass, and his political leanings are just a logical outgrowth of that. Thanks for taking a major one for the team, sis. Stay safe, stay well, and just know that you are much appreciated for your honesty.

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Posted in Confessions of a Bad German, Fascism WITH Swastikas, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Heroes for Today, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Mexican Standoffs, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, The United States of Amnesia, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off on Dowdy Dickie gets dissed!

Music for a Sunday: One for all those coming forward, and for those still not

Let’s hear what you think of me now, but baby, don’t look up…the sky is falling.

And it’s high time, too.

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Wankers of the Week: The Scars and Stripes, Forever

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Crappy weekend, everyone! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, aren’t you sick of all the winning yet? Yeah, me neither. Just as I’m not sick of all the massacres, blatant hypocrisy, criminality and stupidity. And here’s who was perpetrating it all this week, in no particular order:

1. Wayne La Fucking Pierre. Another day, another shooting, another shitty bit of messaging from the NRA. Zero sympathy for victims, families, or traumatized onlookers. But hey, at least we now know the difference between a fucking clip and a fucking magazine. Tomayto, tomahto. Whoopdefuckingdoo!

2. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Another week, another publication dropping Vilo Yeah-Nope because he wrote some shitty fucking shit. And of course, he’s kvetching about it. Boo fucking hoo!

3. Scott Fucking Allen. It’s a day ending in day, and a wanker in Wanksconsin has wanked. And this time, he’s blaming abortion for, of all things, worker shortages. Um, no…actually, the problem is a JOB shortage, and abortion hasn’t got shit to do with that. The problem is that the so-called job creators aren’t creating shit, and aren’t paying shit for what jobs they do offer. Consequently, no one is working and no one even wants to work for them. But thanks, again, for blaming women for all the social ills that you can’t be arsed to fix, dude.

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4. Jamie Fucking Kilstein. An “ex-male feminist”? Nuh-unh, dude…you were NEVER a feminist to begin with. You were an asshole, and you were masquerading as a cool dude. And now that your cover is blown, you’ve gone full MRA so you can finally say all those shitty things you couldn’t before? Color me so shocked.

5. Paul Fucking Ryan. Yes, by all means, pray for the victims of gun crime…quietly, in your own little closet, as Jesus said. Because if you make a point of doing it publicly, you will be called out for the hypocrite you are.

6. Gene Fucking Simmons. You may look forward to the death of rap all you like, old man, but it won’t happen in your lifetime. The form is almost as old as you are, and I’d say its longevity is proven.

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7. Donald Fucking Drumpf, Jr. Hey! Remember how all you righturds are always saying not to “politicize a tragedy” everytime one of yours decides that a gun is a hammer, and every problem is a nail? Yeah. How about YOU take your own advice for a change, Diaper Don?

8. Ted Fucking Cruz. And that goes double for you, Teddy Boy, you disgusting opportunistic vulture.

9. Hans Fucking Fiene. God was “answering people’s prayers” by sending a shooter to fucking MURDER them? How the hell does this even make sense, and how fucking far out of your mind do you have to be to believe anything of the sort??? PS: Jesus says to go fuck yourself. Looks like one of MY prayers has just been answered!

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10. Robert Fucking Phalen. The air is too clean for “optimum health”? Not around YOUR gassy ass, that’s for damn sure.

11. Richard Fucking Spencer. Meanwhile, in other “too stupid to wipe his own ass” news, Dowdy Dickie got trounced by a black Brit who sheared through all his white-supremacist bullshit like a warm knife through whipped butter. Ha, ha. PS: And look who’s apparently insolvent, too. Double ha-ha!

12. Kim Fucking Davis. Running for re-election to a position you shouldn’t be in, even though it entails a job you won’t do? Fuck right off, woman.

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13. Sarah Fucking Palin. Because every time a gun goes off somewhere, her mouth does the same…with every bit as much devastating stupidity.

14. Bob Fucking Marshall. So…how does it feel to lose to the woman you kept misgendering and trying to force to use the men’s washroom? Ha, ha.

15. Tom Fucking Coyne. See what happens when you back a bigmouthed braggart just because you think he’s a winner who has mobilized what you thought was your base? You end up with egg on your face, and a progressive independent eating your lunch. Ha, ha.

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16. Fergus Fucking Wilson. Meanwhile, across the pond, it seems that crapistalist racism isn’t doing too well THERE, either. Ha, ha.

17. Corey Fucking Lewandowski. First he has amnesia, then he doesn’t, then he does, then he doesn’t. How the hell is it possible for someone not to remember someone he worked with as closely as he did with Carter Fucking Page? I can hardly wait for the next round of indictments, because I have strong suspicions as to who’s gonna be in it.

18. Gay Fucking Talese. “10 minutes of indiscretion 10 or more years ago”? Fucking hell, isn’t that just like Brock Turner’s dad, kvetching about the “20 minutes of action” that were all his son got before two meddling foreign students stopped him and his ass landed (all too briefly) in jail? And, BTW: It’s more than just a few minutes of “indiscretion”, and it wasn’t just “10 or more years ago”. Kevin Fucking Spacey has been a missing stair in the industry for a lot longer, and a lot more recently, than that.

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19. John Fucking Carman. Well, well. Look who’s eating his words now. Yet another Repugnican loser! Want a little pink pussyhat for all that crow you’re eating now, John?

20. Jim Fucking Bakker. If Donnie’s impeached, real Christians won’t be rioting in the streets…they’ll be cheering, along with the rest of the decent folks. You, on the other hand, would do well to bunker down with your buckets-o-crap and say nothing, lest you be busted for scamming your viewers yet again.

21. James O’Fucking Keefe. Oh dear. Someone doesn’t know how the insurance business really works. Fortunately, there’s always the School of Hard Knocks to teach him!

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22. Alex Fucking Jones. Well, well. What have we here? A conspiracy? Yup. And tinfoil on top of tinfoil, too!

23. Roy Fucking Moore. Is anyone besides me NOT surprised to find that he’s a hypocrite whose transphobic piety is just a whitewash for having sexually abused a 14-year-old girl decades ago, when he was a mere stripling of 32? NO? Thought so. PS: God’s gonna smite you for this, too, Roy!

24. Kayla Fucking Moore. Is anyone besides me NOT surprised to find that she’s complicit in her husband’s hypocrisy, and oh-so-touchingly bound and determined to stand by her (shitty) man? NO? Thought so.

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25. Patrick Fucking Brown. Meanwhile, here in Ontario, the Religious Reich has once again demonstrated that it — and its candidates — have zero originality. And they’re not above cribbing a leftist meme to prove it, either. In fact, they’ll even go all the way to New Brunswick to steal one!

26. Jim Fucking Ziegler. If you don’t see what’s wrong with #23 taking advantage of a girl too young and inexperienced to consent, you’re part of the problem. And yes, your religious “values” ARE the problem.

27. Jack Fucking Posobiec. Same as above, with an added dose of Isn’t it about damn time this fascist shithead was finally removed from Twitter, PERMANENTLY?

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28. Ed Fucking Henry. Four women, backed up by 30 other sources, and he still thinks #23’s accusers are lying? This is what hardcore right-wing stoopid looks like, folks.

29. Steve Fucking Bannon. I have a better idea, Ginblossoms: Instead of “MAGA” Day, how about HELL TO THE NOPE Day? Or Indictment Day? Or Impeachment Day? Or maybe even You in Handcuffs Being Frogmarched Off to Jail Day? Any of those things would work just fine for me.

30. Jordan Fucking Peterson. How the hell does this hideous professional troll masquerading as an academic intellectual still have a job? He can’t very well whine about being persecuted by the politically correct when he’s the one DOING the persecuting, and he’s still being protected by U of T in the process. Maybe a taste of his own damn medicine should be in store for him, hmmmmm?

pc-bullshit-translated.jpg

And finally, to all the fucking fuckheads making excuses for good ol’ #23, Roy Fucking Moore. Fucking stop it, because the mud you’re trying to drag his victims through…is gonna wind up sticking to you. Especially those of you on the “alt”-right, who were dead convinced that a pizza parlor was running a child-trafficking ring out of its nonexistent basement. But hey! On second thought, maybe keep it up. All of your political and journalistic careers deserve to go down in discredit for what you’re doing there. It’s not like any of you were any damn good at it anyway.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off on Wankers of the Week: The Scars and Stripes, Forever

Italian journalist attacked by far-right mafia thug on live TV

Talk about shameless. Take a look at this:

Here’s the story, via Aporrea:

An Italian public television journalist was brutally assaulted on Wednesday as he was conducting an interview with the brother of a mafia capo from Ostia, a coastal city 20 miles from Rome.

The savage aggression took place in full view of everyone before the cameras of RAI2, the second Italian public television network.

Roberto Spada, the brother of a mafia capo from Ostia, head-butted journalist Daniele Piervincenzi, and broke his nose.

At the time, the reporter was asking Spada about the support his clan had given to the ultra-right-wing party, Casa Pound. Italian authorities have already begun to investigate the assault.

Translation mine.

According to the Washington Post, Casa Pound (named after Ezra Pound, the infamous American fascist who followed his boner for Mussolini to Italy and wound up in a lunatic asylum as a result) has “distanced itself” from this incident and called for a full public investigation.

No word on whether they returned the mafiosi’s generous campaign contributions, however.

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Posted in EuroPeons, Fascism WITH Swastikas, Isn't That Illegal?, Mobsters | Comments Off on Italian journalist attacked by far-right mafia thug on live TV

Quotable: Fidel Castro on the Russian Revolution of 1917

On the 100th anniversary of the Russian Revolution, some still timely thoughts from a man who lived almost as long…and is now an immortal.

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Posted in Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), Teh Russkies | Comments Off on Quotable: Fidel Castro on the Russian Revolution of 1917

Far-right grad student makes ass of self. Film at 11…

Okay, so it’s ALMOST 11 in the morning. Gimme a break and just watch this, okay?

Oh noes, Latinos are looking at him! When he’s scurrying around their neighborhood like a cockroach, acting all furtive while filming them buying groceries and doing their laundry and just generally minding their own business. And of course, this suuuuuper-genius doesn’t even know how to hold his crappy, grainy cellphone horizontally while filming.

I would ask how someone as dumb as he even got to be a grad student in the first place, but it’s Georgia, FFS. They probably mistook his bland, fashy haircut for a sign of intelligence.

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Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Far-right grad student makes ass of self. Film at 11…

Twitter is doing WHAT?

Because corporations can absolutely be trusted to decide, VIA AUTOMATED ALGORITHMS, what is real and what is false news, eh? I mean, what could go wrong?

BTW, here’s the Kiriakou interview Jimmy referenced in the video above:

There are some facts missing here, however. Among them:

The Drumpf Dossier and the alleged “pee-pee tape” were originally procured, not by the Democrats from the Russians, but by a lesser-known right-wing website, the Free Beacon, from a former member of British Intelligence who now runs his own private detective agency. This opposition research (which is not unusual in a contentious political campaign season, and probably not technically illegal either) was likely used to vet Republican pre-candidates first, but then later suppressed (on whose orders, one wonders?) and later still, picked up by the Dems, who used it (rather ineptly) in Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. So while it’s true that both sides used this sketchy material, it should be noted that the Repugs tried to use it first…and then, for reasons yet to be revealed, dropped it.

I’m also wondering how the two brothers, John and Tony Podesta, came to be working for ostensibly opposing political campaigns. I guess that’s not technically illegal either — hey, in the US of Amnesia, brother has fought brother as far back (at least) as the Civil War. But I’m going to be keeping a close eye on stories about those two, because they reek of mafia. And their respective prominent presences don’t exactly do much to discourage speculation that the two-party political system in the US is really not two parties after all.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Freeze Peach!, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Mobsters, Spooks, Teh Russkies, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Twitter is doing WHAT?