Colombia, the subversive narco-protectorate

If there’s any doubt still in your mind as to whether the Venezuelan opposition are really traitors, or that Colombia’s diplomats are really imperialist cats’-paws trying to foment an illegal separatist movement, you can now put your doubts to rest. Alberto Nolia, host of the VTV show “The Devil’s Papers”, has uncovered some definitive proof that the answer to both questions is a resounding YES:

Here’s the story, translated by your humble and obedient one:

Venezuelan chancellor Nicolás Maduro Moros said he had conversed with his Colombian counterpart, Jaime Bermúdez Merizalde, who confirmed to him that he would “retire the Colombian consul in Maracaibo”, Carlos Galvis Fajardo, “which I thanked him for. He acted with extraordinary speed. I hope that this will not be repeated with any other diplomatic functionary from any other country”, and that there would be respect for international norms.

The measure took place after the VTV program, “The Devil’s Papers”, revealed a conversation between Galvis and an advisor to Colombian president Alvaro Uribe, José Obdulio Gaviria, in which he expressed his happiness at the victory of opposition candidates in the gubernatorial elections of the states of Zulia and Táchira, the “marvellous” part being that it was “our work there”, and that they would soon meet with the governors “to take actions at government level.”

Maduro said that this recording “confirms information we have been receiving that certain opposition members in the border regions were trying to get involved in a foreign plot against the unity of our nation.”

President Chávez has been denouncing for months the separatist intentions of the border states, including Táchira and Zulia, to create a separatist “Media Luna” with the aid of oligarchs from neighboring Colombia.

[…]

The conversation between Maduro and Bermúdez took place before a speech by President Chávez, who indicated, without referring to the call, that if the Colombian consul had not been voluntarily removed, he would have to be expelled from Venezuela.

[…]

Addressing chancellor Maduro, Chávez asked, “Nicolás, have you spoken with the Colombian chancellor already? Because the only way that I will not expel this consul-general is if the Colombian government withdraws him quickly, now! If not, I’ll expel him. Either they remove him now, or I’ll throw him out of the country. I’ll expel him! I hope the government of Colombia makes the decisions it has to make.”

So now the treacherous Colombian consul is gone, withdrawn by his own government. Problem solved?

Don’t bank on it just yet. At best, this is only a stopgap. Until Colombia is no longer the loyal servant of you-know-where, and someone other than Alvaro Uribe (or anyone else equally crooked) is president of Colombia, we can expect to go right on hearing of incidents like this in Venezuela. Don’t forget that the Colombian consul was talking to no less a personage than Uribe’s own advisor (who, so far as I know, has suffered no consequences). Uribe is involved right up to his beady little eyeballs in this plot. He’s going to replace a few people and go right on pulling the self-same shit, all over again, and again and again, until it succeeds or he blows an artery trying.

That is assuming, of course, that the people of the border states that went to opposition governors last Sunday don’t take matters into their own hands and get rid of those vendepatrias. Unfortunately, if they follow strict constitutional procedures, they’re going to have to wait awhile. But if there’s not a recall vote a couple of years from now in every single one of those states, and every one of those governors isn’t subsequently ousted by popular will, I’ll be seriously surprised–and disgusted.

In the meantime, there’s always the criminal justice system, which is also as speedy as molasses at the South Pole. But who knows, maybe the federales will surprise us by taking a few newly-minted governors into custody yet. Stranger things have happened in Venezuela…