People who need to drop off the face of the Earth, NOW

1. Daniel Fucking Cormier. The thing to do with a child you suspect was sexually abused is inform the authorities, right? Not according to this pervert, who thought the best thing to do was “marry” her in a bogus ceremony in a bogus church, of which he was conveniently the bogus pastor. His reasons? She “used every trick in the book” to seduce him–so sez he. Only problem is, she doesn’t think so; she says he sexually abused her from the age of 9 until she was 13 (she’s 19 now). Plus there’s the additional problem that she is not his only ~~sexual abuse victim~~ “bride”. And best of all, if you can read French, is the fact that this pervert has preached against homosexuality, calling it “unnatural”. I have a feeling he’s about to get really well acquainted with it in the federal pen. Hey Danny, don’t drop the soap!–No, on second thought, please DO. Maybe then you’ll understand how it feels to be the object of some, uh, unwanted attentions.

2. Bill Fucking Kristol. No, it’s NOT enough that the NY Whore Times sacked him; he just fell straight up and landed at the Washington Whore Post, where he will undoubtedly inflict more of the same fact-free, reality-challenged drivel on a sick and tired public. What does it take for a derelict neo-con ideologue to get blackballed from every press outlet there is, onaccounta he writes nothing but pure crap? Whatever it is, for the love of all that’s holy, let it catch up to The Bloody Kristol. PLEASE.

3. Alek Fucking Boyd. This crazy little Pinochetist shitweasel seriously thinks he’s a human rights activist. He also seriously thinks he can pwn Noam Chomsky. And funniest of all, he seriously doesn’t realize how hard he’s been pwned by…well, Noam Chomsky. Hey Alek, let us know when your butt starts hurting from all that full-throttle autocopulation, eh?

4. Manfredo Fucking Kempff. For playing into outdated stereotypes about Bolivian indigenous people, this one really takes the biscuit. Or the buttplug. I guess Manfredo doesn’t read, or he’d realize that there are no more illiterates left in Bolivia. Other than the likes of lily-white him, of course. And I agree, it certainly IS bordering on irresponsibility to let illiterates legislate. Considering that this guy served under an old military dictator who used to persecute indigenous people, I can see where he got that idea. And it’s very instructive to see that Bolivia was in a state of advanced decline when Kempff was in office, no? Sure does prove his point…although, sadly, not quite in the way he intended.

5. Hony Fucking Pierola. Perhaps someone should start a Facebook group to contract a sharpshooter to “liquidate” this piece of shit, instead of Evo? That would be nice, but you know what’s nicer? Getting his hate group hosed off of Facebook, and getting his name dragged through the otherwise whorish media. You know your shit stinks when even the AP just can’t bring itself to swallow it holus bolus. Now, all that’s needed is a Facebook ban for the cretin himself (and, come to think of it, a sweet little note to his ISP for violating their TOS), and the shit-flush will be complete.

6. International fucking banksters. What a sad statement about capitalism: Now it comes out that if it weren’t for illegal drugs and the vast amounts of money they generate (which the banks then launder), the privateering scow otherwise known as the S.S. Free Enterprise would have sunk even sooner than it already has. Logical upshot: Best reason for legalization ever.

7. Keith Fucking Luke. Way to prove what every antifascist already knows: White supremacist ideology is for loo-hoo-hoo-hoozers.

8. Branko Fucking Marinkovic. Oh noes, Evo won’t meet with him, or anyone else in the opposition, to water down the new constitution. Too bad, so sad, boo hoo, sniff sniff.

Oh, who am I kidding…

Yo, Branko? Go blow an artery.

9. Leopoldo Fucking López. Riddle me this: How does the former mayor of the wealthy Chacao district of eastern Caracas end up wayyyyyy over in Táchira, a western Venezuelan state bordering on Colombia? And, more to the point: How does a mayor, whose job presumably entails keeping public peace and order, end up sponsoring “peaceful opposition student protests” like this one in Táchira?

It’s worth noting that police officers got injured in this riot, in which the nice widdle oppo kiddies can be seen firing guns. But since the injured officers are not from the Polichacao, I guess that’s neither here nor there with law’n’order Leo, who was recently feted in beautiful, democracy-free Dubai for some meaningless glitzy shit or other.

I also note, in passing, that all those flaming tires littering the street put the dirty lie to the notion that the opposition’s mayors are finally doing something about that garbage problem they campaigned so successfully on, along with all that law’n’order stuff. When will the opposition search its underwear for some gonads, man up, and take out THIS flaming, smoking, stinking heap of trash?

10. Banksters’ fucking molls. Poor widdle sugarbabies, now they have to break a nail and actually EARN a living, instead of just marrying it (or, even more pathetic, schtupping it on the side.) Life is so hard when you suddenly have to limit the number of designer
bags you buy on his credit card this year. Sigh…

Sorry, girls, but my supply of crocodile tears dried up long before your sugardaddies’ bank accounts (and charisma) did. I spent it all on people more deserving. Now put down the sugary pink cocktails, knock off the gratuitous feminism-bashing, and get out there on the corner with the rest of your kind. If you’re lucky, you might even make enough not to have to hock your entire collection of Jimmy Choos.

11. and 12. Fucking Harpo and Fucking Iggy. Christ. Why don’t you two just get a room and stop swapping saliva all over Parliament Hill? And why can’t the rest of us have a democratic opposition worthy of the name?