People who seriously need to STFU

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Who, this week, might it be…to feel the wrath, the wrath of me…and the hand of Mr. T? Read on:

1. Scott Fucking Easterling. Where was this oh-so-patriotic questioner of presidential legtimacy when Dubya stole the White House–twice? For that matter, where was this publicity whore when John McCain–born in the Panama Canal Zone, which is NOT United States soil and never has been–made a (fortunately failed) bid for the White House? Funny how these buffoons all had so little to say about that. Listen up, Scotty: You people lost fair and square, and whether you like it or not, you have a legitimate president for the first time in eight years–now suck it. And shut the fuck up!

2. Sarah Fucking Palin–AGAIN. Queen Sarah the Paranoid thinks the media is out to get her–boo, hoo, hoo! They wouldn’t say a word if she quit trying to keep her name out there and just went back to Alaska, where her job still patiently waits for her to DO it. Does she think she can avoid all those ethics scandals piling up behind her like so many corpses? Hey Sarah, it won’t work. You fucked up, and if you truly believe in personal responsibility, then it is YOUR personal responsibility to go home and clean up your mess, and quit making new ones. And oh yeah: shut the fuck up!

3. Rick Fucking Santelli. If those who are losing their homes in the current crisis are losers, what does that make Big Bidnesses that are too big to fail–but failing precisely because they got too fucking big for their britches? Srsly, dude…the loser is none other than Y-O-U if you go down that road. Perhaps Karma will take notice of you, though, and ensure that you become the next casualty of this recession, jobwise. Meanwhile: Shut the fuck up!

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(BTW, Santelli needs to STFU twice–he’s such a bitch-ass whiner!)

4. The Fucking State Department. Riddle me this: How do Venezuela, Bolivia and Ecuador, all democratic, all free from state-sponsored violence and disappearances, get nothing but vilification–while Colombia, the biggest human rights abuser in Latin America (at least this decade), gets labelled a model democracy, and Peru, which also has a lot of human rights problems, is labelled “investment grade”? Srsly, I wanna know: How come human-rights offices get attacked in Colombia and no one at the State Dept. says boo? Could it be because they’re too busy attacking Chavecito, Evo and El Ecuadorable–for what, exactly? Whatever their lame excuse is, they need to shut the fuck up and start criticizing those who actually deserve it.

5. Arlen Fucking Specter. Latin America is now pulling ahead of the US on human rights (all but Mexico, Colombia and Peru, of course.) This in spite of the Fucking State Dept. and its stupid fucking reports. Impunity and exceptionalism need to shut the fuck up!

6. Bobby Fucking Jindal. I guess the Repugs figured they’d do better with a non-white guy to rebut Obama in his first big speech to Congress. But why’d they have to pick a complete nimnul like Jindal, the would-be exorcist? This was so pathetic, they even saw fit to comment on it in Venezuela. Oh well…at least the man is good for a joke. But beyond that, he really should…well, you know.

7. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. There are more reasons for this than you can shake a ball gag at, but here’s the latest. Rush wants to know why women don’t like him? That’s the simplest thing in the world: He is a repulsive, loudmouthed, loutish, totalitarian swinebag. Sylvia Plath notwithstanding, the overwhelming majority of women do NOT adore a fascist, “the boot in the face, the brute/Brute heart of a brute like you.” And yes, Rush Limbaugh is a fascist. As Mike Malloy so often says, he runs a protection racket for Corporate America. He thinks he “owns” people’s minds. Anyone who thinks that, should just STFU–and I guarantee that if the Pigman did that for a change, I might at least contemplate liking him, instead of just flat-out despising him as I do now.

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8. Glenn Fucking Beck. Maybe, instead of spewing ignorance about pot, he needs some medical marijuana to help loosen him up and ease the symptoms of his psychopathy. Or maybe he just needs to STFU. Either one’s all right with me, as long as it stops the Walking Hemorrhoid from running off at the mouth.

9. Fucking Iggy, AGAIN. Why is this guy in the Liberal party, anyway? He’s just a ReformaTory in a red tie. He is as much a corporate puppet as they are. No way would I vote for him even if he headed up a Lib/NDP coalition–which of course, he won’t. To him, a progressive is The Enemy. When’s the next leadership convention again? And what would it take to make him STFU in the meantime?

10. Jonah Fucking Goldberg. Again, as with his fascist role model Rush, there are more reasons to shut this fucker up than there is duct tape in the hardware store. But here’s an old one that just leapt back up to bite him: His endorsement of pack “journalism”. Now that a suspect has finally been fingered in the murder of Chandra Levy, do you think we’ll hear any apologies out of Cheeto-Boy over all the baseless bandwagon-jumping?

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11. The Religious Fucking Reich. When you’re the biggest porn consumers in the land, all that pro-abstinence preaching either looks ludicrous, or makes sense in a way best described as really, really kinky. BTW, your poster child Bristol Palin has just singlehandedly proved you all to be full of shit, so now would be a really, really good time to STFU.

12. John Fucking Bolton. First the Old English Sheepdog blithely says that the UN should be destroyed, now he’s out to demolish Chicago? I don’t know what it would take to shut Mr. Milk Mustache the fuck up, but I have a hunch a collapsed building figures prominently in the scenario.

13. Dean Fucking Grose. Best thing to shut HIS big, racist mouth? A watermelon, natch.

And that’s it for this week…but don’t worry, there’ll be more karmic whup-ass next week. Watch this space, and watch your mouths, kiddies.

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