Wankers of the Week: Pissing Jesus Off edition

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The people listed below don’t know it, but the man pictured above was THE original socialist. And that’s why he would be SO pissed off at them…

1. The Fucking C Street Mafia. For usurping Jesus’s name. Newsflash, folks: You are not the Christ. Hell, you’re not even halfway decent Christians. Oh, fuck it–you’re not Christians at all, and neither is anyone who voted for you bozos. You don’t love God, you don’t love your fellow man; all you love is Mammon (why else the attacks on economic justice?). Oh, and you’re all going straight to hell, so you can spare the prayers.

2. Sarah Fucking Palin. Why did this bogus maverick quit? It’s the ethics scandals, stupid! Funny how it’s always the chirrupy, syrupy “Christian” women who turn out to be the sleaziest skanks of all, eh? This one is especially pathetic; not only does she have her own “-gates” site, she can’t even own up to her own numerous wrongdoings. And she’s still on Twitter as AKGovSarahPalin, even though she’s not the AK Gov anymore. Jesus doesn’t like people like that!

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3. All these fucking wingnutters who were supposed to be meeting in Miami. Is that still on, or is it all kaputsky since their special guest, the car-stealing, coup-mongering general from Honduras, bailed?

4. Mark Fucking Sanford. Why did the C Street hypocrite refuse Obama’s economic stimulus money for his state of South Carolina? Oh, probably because he’d have to account for how he spent it…and that would mean fewer first-class visits to his Argentine whore. Not to mention FAR fewer opportunities to claim that Jesus was finally back in control of him. Hey Mark, how about YOU just controlling yourself? What a novel idea. Then Jesus wouldn’t be so fucking pissed at you (which he still is–bank on it.)

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5. Chip Fucking Pickering. Shit, who needs gays to wreck traditional marriage when you’ve got hypocritical, sleazy C Street wingnuts whose wives are suing their mistresses?

6. and 7. These two old motherfuckers pictured below:

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For all the reasons stated above, and then some.

8. Last but not least, the fucking Roman Catholic church leaders of Honduras. Despite their many and vociferous denials, they are plainly in favor of the coup. Praising it with faint damnation SERIOUSLY pisses Jesus off. So does playing sleazy, anti-Venezuelan politics. Shame on their antidemocratic asses!

And that’s it for this week, folks. Go now, and wank no more.

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7 Responses to Wankers of the Week: Pissing Jesus Off edition

  1. ceti says:

    One of the reasons the Catholic Church is pissed off at Zelaya is that he vetoed a law that would have banned the morning-after pill. Abortion is already illegal, but legislators at the behest of the church wanted to go one step further, but Zelaya balked. Crazy shit, but the conservatives that control the church were none too pleased.

  2. Why am I not surprised? No wonder Jesus is pissed off at them. They think birth control = abortion. I think that stance = complete bullshit! And we all know how Jesus feels about bullshitters, Pharisees and the like…

  3. Utpal says:

    Whatever happened to the “rhythm method”? Does anyone follow that anymore?

  4. Well, I heard that Lugo tried it with his girlfriends in Paraguay…with predictable results.

  5. Dr. Prole says:

    The rhythm method? Why yes! Both my sister and I are products of it.

  6. croghan27 says:

    Just as I deny responsibility for the actions of Harper, and all Americans are NOT responsible for the depredations of Bush (as continued by Obama) – so many members of the catholic clergy are not responsible for the actions and proclamations of the Bishops and Cardinals toward Honduras.
    Zelaya was supported by a great number of the parish Priests in Honduras and it is unfair to tar them with the same brush of blame you use on the hierarchy of the Church.

  7. Point to exactly where I said that the “parish Priests in Honduras” were to blame. I point the finger squarely at the bishops, the cardinals and the Pope…all of whom have either been silent or actively with the putschists. Your accusation is ridiculous and unfounded. Learn to read before you comment here again!

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