Don’t let your Ewoks get into the Boo-tini

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Wankers of the Week: Happy Halloweenie edition

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Is that “tongue” for real? I dunno. But a lot of real fapping was going on this past week, and it sure as hell was scary, because the fappers are all flat-liners. Here they come, in no particular order…

1. Dana Fucking Perino. No, Moonunit Yappa didn’t die with the Bushitministration. She’s on FUX Snooze now, spouting stupidities (chief among them, lies about Chavecito). It’s as if her old job never ended!

2. Fucking Reporters Without Borders. Reporters without SHAME would be more like it. How DO they gauge the degree of “press freedom” in a country? Apparently, only by how much they subjectively like whoever’s in charge of it. How else to explain drivel like the following:


Certain would-be “great countries” deliberately behave in a manner that is brutal, unfair or just disturbing. The examples include Venezuela (113th), where President Hugo Chávez’s personality and decrees are often crushing, and the Putin-Medvedev duo’s Russia (141st), where state and opposition media are strictly controlled and journalists such as Anna Politkovskaya are killed each year by “unidentified” gunmen who often turn out to have close links with the Kremlin’s security services.

Um, Venezuela is NOTHING like Russia. There is 100% press freedom there, so much so that the oppo media are STILL calling for Chavecito’s head–something which would never be tolerated by the parliament or the PMO in top-20 ranking Canada! And of course, the fact that everything Chavecito proposes gets voted on there (or enjoys popular acclaim anyhow) never rates a mention. “Brutal, unfair or just disturbing” is a better characterization of RSF’s shoddy “reporting” than it is of the situation in Venezuela.

3. Tim Fucking Russert. Gone, but not forgotten…especially not his pet obsession:

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…which is quite interesting and ironic when you consider that the late unlamented had no problem getting down before Dubya’s open zipper and doing for him what Monica did for Bill.

4. Dick Fucking Cheney. My gawd, does Alan Grayson (my hero!) ever have his number. He sticks his neck out, all right. I just hope the Big Dick doesn’t make a lunge for his jugulars anytime soon.

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5. Fucking Dubya. So he’s “confident” that he “made the right decisions” in office, eh? Well, that makes one person. One person who left office with a rock-bottom popularity rating for reasons good. “Popularity is fleeting”, he says, and he should know–when his wars blew up in his face, the popularity he took advantage of to push them through did, too. Fleeting. Yeah. Absolutely. Especially when you piss it away on stupidity. Now why can’t he just shut the fuck up about it and never be heard from again? Is he hoping to make himself look more popular in retrospect?

6. Mark Fucking Sanford. Figures that a guy who makes shit up about hiking the Appalachian Trail would be “blown away” by the “philosophy” of Ayn Fucking Rand, who made all her shit up, period. Or that he’d claim to occupy some mythical middle ground between “love her” and “hate her” while praising her hallucinations to the heavens.

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7. And while we’re on the subject of hallucinatory crap that appeared in NewsWEAK, how about that Mac Fucking Margolis? If putting public money to work financing movie studios qualifies as “dictatorship”, Mac, you ought to come on up to Soviet Canuckistan and get acquainted with our National Film Board sometime. And then go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under, and write some more drivel about how we’re a dictatorship up here. Or how be you just learn how to speak Spanish, read alternative news, and interview someone in Venezuela besides a bunch of people who keep losing elections because no one wants all the country’s money to go to the already insanely rich while everyone else is dying of starvation? (PS: Venezuela knows about you, Mac…and what they have to say to your “journalism” is far from flattering!)

8. Ah-nie Fucking Schwarzenegger. Telling San Francisco to get fucked? What a way to treat a major port city, which brings in trade and needed tourist dollars to the state of California. Stay classy, Governator.

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9. Roland Fucking Corning. Look who else is out hiking the Appalacian Trail–with an 18-year-old “dancer” from the local “gentlemen’s club”. WTF is it in the water in South Carolina lately that’s making all these Repugs act worse than horny goats on meth? Sorry, it’s not the water. It’s the fucking Viagra, combined with a midlife crisis and general Repugnican stupidity. Lethal mix!

10. Ian Fucking Kelly. The Cuba embargo is not dead yet, because someone hasn’t driven a stake through the fat, black heart of the State Dept. Exactly who are THEY to dictate what constitutes “improved human rights”, considering their lengthy track record of supporting–and oftentimes being–the planet’s worst violators? Just so’s ya know, Ian, you’re a laughing-stock in Venezuela!

11. Melody Mir Fucking Jiménez. No, I did not know that Columbus came to the Americas in 1980. Did he travel by TARDIS, perchance? (Actually, I shouldn’t rag Miss Spain too hard; a lot of her fellow beauty contestants had equally unintelligent answers about when the Americas were discovered. The correct answer, of course, is “No one knows exactly, but it sure as hell wasn’t Columbus in 1492!”)

12. and 13 Jorge Fucking Castañeda and Cesar Fucking Gaviria. Why do they hate elected leaders? Maybe because as vampires, they’d have trouble with the concept themselves.

And that’s it for this week. Happy Halloweenies–and may all the wankers get their windows soaped!

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Festive Left Friday Blogging: So, about that “good left/bad left” thing…

…I’m sorry, what were you saying again, O ye chumps of the bizmedia and State Dept.?

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Looks to me like Chavecito and Lula are on the same page. Duh, maybe that’s because they ARE? The latter was in Venezuela today, joining his big red buddy on a visit to a socialist development centre in Anzoátegui. The two also harvested soybeans together, as befits the leaders of two agrarian countries. And the entry of Venezuela into Mercosur is also a done deal, thanks to Lula.

Good left…bad left…one more artificial dichotomy bites the dust. They’re BOTH of the left.

And blue-eyed whitey better not forget it.

Stupid Sex Tricks: Halloween…the naughtiest day of the year

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Economics for Bunnies: A little cautionary ‘toon

Why the “incentive” system, also known as “carrot and stick”, doesn’t work–or at least, not quite as intended.

(And also why you should never mistreat your worker bunnies!)

The CIA is…WHAT?

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From the Old Grey Whore of New York, a head-scratching opening to a story that I thought ought to have been open and shut long ago…


Is the Central Intelligence Agency covering up some dark secret about the assassination of John F. Kennedy?

Probably not. But you would not know it from the C.I.A.’s behavior.

“Probably not” means oh yes, they are. If the CIA is acting suspiciously, be suspicious. Very suspicious. And don’t cut your own lede out from under you with qualifiers, because the guy this story is telling us about sure wouldn’t:


The agency’s deception was first reported in 2001 by Jefferson Morley, who has doggedly pursued the files ever since, represented by James H. Lesar, a Washington lawyer specializing in Freedom of Information Act lawsuits.

“The C.I.A.’s conduct is maddening,” said Mr. Morley, 51, a former Washington Post reporter and the author of a 2008 biography of a former C.I.A. station chief in Mexico.

After years of meticulous reporting on Mr. Joannides, who died at age 68 in 1990, he is convinced that there is more to learn.

“I know there’s a story here,” Mr. Morley said. “The confirmation is that the C.I.A. treats these documents as extremely sensitive.”

The article notes early on that Jefferson Morley has “no use for conspiracy thinking”. Yet even he thinks the CIA was conspiring, simply because of how it’s acting. It’s treating something supposedly insignificant as “extremely sensitive”. Now why do you suppose that is?

Oh, only because the CIA has been one big conspiracy since the moment of its inception. Conspiracy is its business–it’s a dead bust at gathering intelligence, so what else could it be for? And because it’s hardly a secret that the “Company” was involved in the JFK assassination right up to its eyeballs, as anyone who’s ever seen The Men Who Killed Kennedy can attest. Yet the NY Whore still plays dumb…


What motive could C.I.A. officials have to bury the details of Mr. Joannides’s work for so long? Did C.I.A. officers or their Cuban contacts know more about Oswald than has been revealed? Or was the agency simply embarrassed by brushes with the future assassin — like the Dallas F.B.I. officials who, after the assassination, destroyed a handwritten note Oswald had previously left for an F.B.I. agent?

Or has Mr. Morley spent a decade on a wild goose chase?

Clearly, the Whore would like us to believe the latter.

Of course, that could be because the NY Whore is itself infiltrated by the CIA. Has been for a long time, and will be until the day it bites the dust. Remember, Operation Mockingbird was never shut down. So of course, they still have an active interest in whitewashing the CIA’s involvement in just about anything that points to it. And they’re still using major newspapers to do it. How very respectable of them!

And if you really want to know the true role of AGENT Lee Harvey Oswald (that’s what he really was!), who began his spook career in Naval Intelligence, was professionally trained in Russian by the US military itself, and tracked U-2 flights over Russia from Atsugi (a curious job for a supposedly avowed communist to have, no?), here ya go–a respected and respectable British documentary team has done your homework for you. Enjoy Episode 4 from the original Men Who Killed Kennedy series…also titled “The Patsy”:

Jim Garrison was right–the whole “pro-Castro” thing was a sham. A “sheep-dipping” in which the CIA set Agent Oswald up to look like a communist and staged a street brawl between him and the same anti-Castro group it was financing in Miami to the tune of $50,000 a month, which was serious money in 1963. It was followed by a very phony radio “debate” between Oswald and his alleged assailants. This all was done so no one would question the contention that he was the “real” assassin, the guy who fired the single, magic bullet that went through both a president’s head, and just about every part of the Governor of Texas, virtually unscathed and from the absolutely wrong direction–an account hotly disputed by eminent forensic pathologist Dr. Cyril Wecht, himself not exactly a conspiracy nutcase. Dr. Wecht happens to be one of the world’s top forensic pathologists, with literally thousands of autopsies under his belt. He knows from extensive experience what bullets can and cannot do to human beings. He has stated that if the JFK murder were ever to go to a trial, it would be thrown out of court because the evidence had been botched so badly.

And that’s not even touching on the witnesses. One who would never be called on to testify, because his words would be too incriminating, would be Col. Fletcher Prouty, who was “in that business” in Latin America during the 1950s and notes (also in The Men Who Killed Kennedy) that it was commonplace for the CIA, US military intelligence, etc., to hire assassins from local mafias to bump off political undesirables. How commonplace? There was actually a manual instructing local operatives to do just that.

As it turns out, the assassin hired by the CIA–or one of them, at any rate–was a Corsican mobster named Lucien Sarti, feared and hated even in the mafia for his recklessness and ruthlessness. The Corsican mob had lost millions in casino revenues when Fidel Castro shut down their interests in Cuba, so it stands to reason that they would jump at the chance to band together with a powerful and secretive organization like the CIA to assassinate Castro…or, failing that, a president who had reneged on his “promise” to oust him when the Bay of Pigs invasion flopped. Sarti was chosen because he was white, because he knew how to use disguises to blend in with the locals (he was dressed in a Dallas police uniform when he fired from the “Grassy Knoll”), and because he was about as professional and cold-blooded a killer you could ask for–he used frangible bullets, as evidenced by the way JFK’s head blew up in the Zapruder film. (Karma got back at him for it about nine years later–Sarti was himself shot dead in Mexico City in 1972.) Here’s a chilling close-up look at Sarti’s part in the plot:

Independent writers and researchers have been on this story since the get-go. The witnesses have been literally dying to tell the truth, and they were shut out by the Warren Commission, the US government, and God only knows who all else. They were also shut out by the “respectable” mainstream media. Guess why.

If you believe the official whitewash and scoff at the “conspir
acy theories”, congratulations. You’re an idiot, and the NY Whore would love to keep you that way. That’s why it’s doing such a half-assed job of reporting on the work of a real journalist struggling to get to the bottom of the matter. That’s why it’s treating this latest researcher so dismissively. It wants you to think that everyone still investigating a “case closed” is some kind of nutter.

I, however, would like to see you educate yourself. That’s why I put this up here. Go on, now, and do your own homework. And ignore that whore on the streetcorner, lifting her skirt and flashing her panties at you. She’s got nothing to sell you but the same old crap.

Uruguay: Lacalle loses, but…

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Pedro Bordaberry, the OTHER right-wing bastard in Uruguay’s recent presidential campaign. Would you want this son of a dictator on your side, if you were going to a second round?

Thanks to my friend Anthony, a.k.a. Malmö Blue, for alerting me to this disgusting story in Uruguay’s El Pais:


The leader of Vamos Uruguay, Pedro Bordaberry, explained today that given the conditions in Parliament, the best thing would be for the next president to be Luis Alberto Lacalle: “This forces us to think, for the sake of responsibility. I’m not talking about a ‘Pink Party’ or of the ‘bogeyman’ of the Broad Front. The country comes first.”

In an interview given to the radio station El Espectador, Bordaberry spoke of his fear that if the elections result in a win for José Mujica, it would mean a majority of Parliament and the Executive Power in his hands.

Bordaberry said the situation worries him even more because Mujica is “the most voted-for man in his party and his spouse, after Astori [his running mate], is the third.” This means that all the power would be in Mujica’s hands.

“Is it good for any one person to have all the power in the country? I don’t believe so. Thomas Jefferson said, in the name of Monticello, that the history of democracy is the history of the limitation of power.”

Translation mine.

The “Pink Party” he’s referring to is a mixture of Blancos (“Whites”) and Colorados (“Reds”), the two old parties. Blancos are more conservative and Colorados traditionally more liberal, but as I noted earlier, they’re all oligarchs; it’s a question of degree, not kind. In the end, the oligarchs all like to band together, as it appears they’re about to do. (The one hand washes the other, as my German mom would say.) Bordaberry is officially throwing his support behind a man who, under the old system, would be his bitterest opponent, but who is now a bed-buddy since the Broad Front has grown to full stature and monkey-wrenched the whole thing!

What’s really disgusting about this slick and treacherous move, however, is Bordaberry’s past. This is not just any Blanco politician; Bordaberry’s dad was once the military dictator of Uruguay, and a prosecutor is calling for 30 years’ imprisonment for the old man, on the grounds of human rights violations. Which Lacalle, the man he’s supporting, minimizes. Funny dat!

And funnier still it is that someone whose own father enjoyed a taste of unlimited power for so many years, is suddenly taking leaves from the book of Thomas Jefferson. I wonder what the man so “honored” would say to that!

I may never know what Jefferson would say, but I know what I can say to all this: it’s going to go with the Blancos and Colorados the way it did with Acción Democrática and COPEI in Venezuela. This move is so going to discredit both parties that they will be reduced to rump status, as AD and COPEI have been since Chavecito was elected.

Back in ’98, the Venezuelan oppos, who were then the ruling class, had what they thought was a surefire winner–a former Miss Venezuela and Miss Universe, Irene Sáez. She ran under her own banner, but COPEI, thinking she could drag it back into power on her then-considerable coattails, threw its support behind her–and overnight, her popularity evaporated. It was, as Venezuela expert Richard Gott called it, “a poisoned chalice”. It also didn’t help that Miss Universe was still talking too much like a beauty contestant, in sugary platitudes and silly generalities, while Chavecito was talking like a smart politician, in particulars such as constitutional reform and a radical, long-hoped-for change for Venezuela!

Obviously, the Uruguayan oligarchy can smell what the old Tupamaro has got cooking. They fear he’s another Chávez; who knows, maybe he is! More immediately worrisome, as Bordaberry’s words above indicate, is that he’s popular. That’s one clear point in common with the ‘Cito right there. It’s his popularity, not some Jeffersonian bastard drivel about unlimited power (srsly, who has it nowadays?) that they really fear.

Bordaberry is the poison in the Uruguayan chalice, and I rather hope his stupidities end up throwing the race to Mujica, who should be the winner already.

FUX Snooze: Rachel Maddow spells it all out…

Another day, another (political) death in Colombia

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The body of another murdered Colombian leftist, outside his home. Still think Colombia is a model democracy? Then explain this to me…


Jaime López Barros, leader of the Alternative Democratic Pole party in the Atlántico region of Colombia, was assassinated just 50 metres away from his home in the northern part of the city of Barranquilla.

The 53-year-old fell victim to a bullet fired as he was nearing his home early yesterday morning, after dropping off his daughter at school. Immediately after the shooting, López was transferred to the Barranquilla general hospital, where he died a few minutes later.

Political directors of his party, Alfonso Camerano Fuentes and Máximo Noriega, referred to the incident as a political crime and assured that they would not be ruling out the possibility that it had to do with political debates López was about to have against the government of Alvaro Uribe.

Translation mine.

Of course, real democratic leaders don’t go around having their outspoken opponents whacked. Mafia leaders do. El Narco does. Therefore…connect the dots, kiddies.

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Yep, Goldilocks was a spy, all right…

…and leave it to Silverfox to suss Goldilocks out:


The Bolivian vice-president, Alvaro García Linera, confirmed that the recent nomination of the former US ambassador to Bolivia, Philip Goldberg, as intelligence undersecretary in his country, is proof that his stay in Bolivia had conspiratorial purposes.

“We can confirm that we were facing an extremely dangerous person, whose task here had nothing to do with diplomacy, but with conspiracies and spying,” said García, in a press conference with local media on Tuesday.

García added that the nomination of Goldberg to this new post is proof that the decision taken to expel him from Bolivia in 2008 was the correct one. At that time, the government of Evo Morales declared Goldberg to be persona non grata, accused him of conspiring against Bolivian institutions, and ordered him to leave the country in September of that year.

Translation mine.

Of course, none of this should come as any surprise to those who’ve followed this blog. Remember this infamous photo?

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That’s Goldilocks on the right, in this grainy nighttime image shot by a Bolivian TV crew, hanging out with Rubén Costas, oppo douchebag extraordinaire. Why he would secretly meet with the oppos, while shunning the president, was apparently no mystery after all. Would you shake hands with a man you were hoping to depose–or get killed?

Evo’s not dumb, he knows scum when he smells it. And he made a very smart decision to get at least one (now proven) scumbag the hell out of his country.