A million and counting

Who has it?

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Yep, Chavecito passed the million-follower tweeter milestone today. At this rate, it won’t be long before he whips Alejandro Sanz’s ass. Time to set the countdown clock, kiddies!

Posted in Huguito Chavecito. Comments Off »

I just noticed something…

Namely, that lefty guys wearing the US flag…

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(Photo from the Rally for Sanity by Cynthia Tucker, Atlanta Journal-Constitution.)

…do a much better job of it than their wingnut cousins:

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(Teabaggers, taken by I don’t know who, at one of their autos-da-fé.)

Funny dat.

Posted in Good to Know, The WTF? Files. Comments Off »

More Music for a Sunday: WTF, India???

Music for a Sunday: Scary Monsters and Super Creeps

Wankers of the Week: Crappy Halloween!

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‘Tis Halloween,

The lamp is lit–

And in the pies

The pumpkins shit–

Poop out their innards bit by bit–

Till Sister Jane says FLUSH!

Crappy Halloween, everyone! Forget all the ghosties and ghoulies and things that go bump in the night. It’s the ones without the costumes you have to be wary of, because they’ve been out playing dirty tricks on us all week. And here they are, in no particular order. Get ready…Count Floyd says it’s gonna be scary!

1. Rob Fucking Ford. You’re damn right, Toronto is united…and it’s gonna get a lot more so. United, that is, against YOU, you evil, bigoted, rageaholic swinebag. I’m not sure how it’s possible to be arrested for public intoxication AND drug possession and still be eligible to run for office, but I guess whatever happens in Miami, stays in Miami. (Gawd, what a fucking awesome town. Not only does all the scum from Latin America wash up there on a regular basis, but all the crap from North America, too. Damn those ocean currents!) PS: Nice staffers you got, Robbo. Fake Twitter accounts. Really smart! (How much did you pay them?) Now, let’s see them try to bully the new city council. Can’t do that with your toy tweets, bullyboy.

2. Mike Fucking Harris. Ontario’s Worst Premier Ever was at the afterparty for Toronto’s Worst Mayor-Elect Ever. Grinning like the asshole he is, and just oozing smarm, as “Eye of the Tiger” played in the background. Can you say BAD OMEN, boys ‘n’ girls? Sure you can. But for those who missed it, Mikey set this one up a long LONG time ago.

3. Stephen Fucking Harper. Because I know, I just know, that he is behind #1 and #2. The MO all smells the same.

4. Vic Fucking Toews. Hey Adultery Man, nice of you to tell communities to report their potential terrorist kids. But you forgot the biggest one, and it happens to be your damn own voting base! PS: Also, nice touch. Asshole.

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5. Sarah Fucking Palin. Yes, she’s ba-ack. Still as stupid and lazy as ever. And she really shouldn’t worry about Bristol’s wayward genitals spoiling her chance for a run at the White House in two years’ time, because she never stood one anyway.

6. Joe Fucking Arpaio. I always figured him for a skeezy-ass old pervert, and I’m right, as usual. This week, he finally proved it by giving the Paliness a gift of pink underpants. Touching, innit? That makes two sex-related wanks that #5 has racked up this week. And speaking of sex-related wanking, how about…

7. Christine O’Fucking Donnell. Her claims of chastity are, like everything else she says, absolute bullshit. She’s a loud fucker. Literally. What do you bet she also masturbates when she’s not busy getting laid by pudgy, chin-whiskered anti-choice dudes? Loudly? PS: And if you want to know what a totally unelectable candidate acts like, just clicky here.

8. Virginia Fucking Foxx. Yup, she’s back again…and for the same reason. Rampant homophobic hatemongering, that is. And also for (twice) issuing a non-apology “apology” for her fucked-up remarks.

9. Richard Fucking Cohen. Sexual harassment, what’s that? Clearly no problem of his, unless he has to defend someone else’s privilege of doing it. What an onerous burden. A man’s gotta do, eh?

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10. Tim Fucking Profitt. No sense apologizing or trying to “explain”, we all saw what you did there. We couldn’t NOT see. PS: Motherfucker. No apologies for YOU! PPS: Nice following you attract there, asshole. Like attracts like, stupid attracts stupid. Which leads me nicely to…

11. Rand Fucking Paul. Once again, it bears repeating: You can tell a LOT about someone by the kind of following he attracts. You can tell even more by the kind of followers the motherfucking bastard HIRES to curb-stomp nice young liberal ladies…and then make excuses for it all. And oh yeah, that reminds me of someone else…

12. Mike Fucking Pezzano. Another “supporter” of “don’t tread on me” libertarianism proves to be one of those all too willing to let his pals tread…on somebody else. And he may be a groper, too. Niiiiiice. PS: Nice following YOU attract, too!

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13. Eric Fucking Schmidt. Yes, Google really IS, clearly and without the least doubt, evil. And the proof is in the words of its CEO, who clearly doesn’t give a rat’s ass for your privacy…or OUR Canadian privacy laws. His answer? “Just move”. WHERE TO, IF YOU BASTARDS ARE DETERMINED TO PHOTOGRAPH IT ALL???

14. Ezra Fucking Levant. Will somebody please spank this obnoxious brat? He made poopy in his pants again. Oh, don’t like it when I say that, Ezzy? Then don’t say it about Omar Khadr. If he had WANTED to “confess”, he could have done so eight years ago. YOU try being forcibly confined for that time and given no choice in the matter, no charges and no trial worthy of the name. Let’s see how “innocent” you are then, little boy.

15. Clint Fucking McCance. Homophobes should all fucking kill themselves. Or keep that shit to themselves and not advertise it. That’s disgusting!

16. Al Fucking Reynolds. Al, all my educated black male friends just invited you to kiss their educated black male asses. And also to quit smoking crack.

17. Judson Fucking Phillips. You “personally” have a problem with Islam? Yeah, you and all the rest of the fucking tea-tards. That’s why the Koch brothers financed your “party”. Hope you all have a helluva hangover by this time next week, because your party is gonna be OVER.

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18. Flip Fucking Benham. Oh, so abortion doctors are wanted dead “by Christ”? Yo. Jesus just called. Sez you shouldn’t put words in his mouth, he can speak for himself. Also, he told me to tell you to fuck the hell off, and leave the women and doctors alone. There’s a good reason he said nothing about abortion in the New Testament, remember?

19. and 20. Clarence and Ginni Thomas. Yep, they sure ARE a pair of boobs. A large, albeit not so firm, but well matched set. They deserve one another, and the hell that each is gonna put the other through before this little sham of a marriage finally ends. Whaddya bet the real impetus behind Ginni’s little drunk-dialer the other week was actually that she caught Clarence out in something?

21. Abe Fucking Foxman. Whatever shit he was full of, he just lost it. All over the fucking place. Very satisfying to see, especially the part about the Soup Nazi.

22. Victor Fucking Phillips. Christ, what is it with right-wing nutjobs assaulting women this week? It’s like all the sexist, racist and homophobic animus is just oozing out as my US friends prepare to go to the polls. And speaking of homophobic animus, get a load of…

23. Michael Fucking “Savage” Weiner. Bitch, please. The only reason you hate gay boys is because all the cute young ones ignore you. The only reason you blame throat cancer on oral sex between men is because no one’s giving you head anymore. And it’s pitiful, because the whole world knows what you and Allen Ginsberg got up to, back in the day. So just STFU, ‘kay?

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24. Sharron Fucking Angle. How do you know she’s insane? Hint: Watch the diarrhea trickling out of both sides of her mouth. And what kind of Christianity calls human welfare “wicked ways”? She is superstitious and incapable of rational thought. She is also utterly dishonest. She is NOT electable. Let’s face it, this loony harpy is the spawn of Satan.

25. Arnie Fucking LeMaire. Guess who’s gettin’ sued for defamation? Aw, what a shame. Couldn’t happen to a dicker dickweed than Mr. Five-Feet-o-Fugly, I mean Mr. Kathy Shit-All. Watch the not-so-professional hatemonger whine about how his free-speech rights are being trampled, now…Poor baby, wanna hankie?

26. Trevor Fucking Case. As human beings and boyfriends go, he’s a piss-poor excuse for one. Too bad BushCo are out of power, he’d make an excellent interrogator. He has the waterboarding thing down pat.

27. David Fucking Bahati. Oh yeah, legislated homophobic murder–inspired and urged by those US fundie missionaries who are always putting their hands in where they’re not wanted–is totally gonna save Uganda. And–hey wait!–no, sorry, false alarm. That was just a hallucination of a winged pig with lipstick sailing past my window. Too bad. Guess this means Uganda IS going to hell in a self-made handbasket after all.

28. Nicolas Fucking Sarkozy. Ramming through austerity measures is sure hard when you’re tooling around the world with an ex-supermodel wife in a newly redecorated presidential jet that might well be described as a Flying Taj Mahal. While Angela Fucking Merkel is still a wanker, she’s right about this one–it’s worse than bad taste, it’s a fuck-you to an already outraged French populace. But what do we expect of a con de merde like Sarko?

29. Dustin Fucking Dominiak. Congratulations, douchebag, you actually made me feel sorry for Christine O’Fucking Donnell. Which, I’m sure, was NOT the idea behind your anonymous hit-piece on her unwaxed nether regions. It’s one thing to point out a right-wing candidate’s hypocrisy and its bad implications for women, but this was not that. This was just sensationalism, and it wasn’t sensational enough for Penthouse, obviously, since you wound up not getting laid (being ultimately more dud than stud, and a flower easily wilted). Was it necessary to hit her THAT far below the belt? Jeez, it’s not as if we females don’t have enough body issues on our plates already. I hope you enjoyed your squicky fun while it lasted, because I can’t imagine you’ll be terribly popular with any other ladies from now on. Especially not if there’s a good chance that you’ll write immature, disparaging shit about their pubic grooming habits. Or lack thereof.

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29 1/2. Fucking Gawker also deserves a round of boo, both for publishing that shit and for (lamely) justifying it.

30. Fucking McDonald’s. Never again will a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder cross these lips. Or yours either, if you value democracy. Corporations have no business telling their employees how to vote. Or, for that matter, to instruct them to vote in such ways as will leave any poor schmuck who works at Mickey D’s to be even more screwed by capitalism than s/he was before.

31. Jonah Fucking Goldberg. Well, at least, he admits that radioactive waste can kill people. The rest of those brain-dead neo-cons still want us to believe that Iraqis can eat it morning, noon and night and feel nothing but liberated. Still, Doughy Pantload deserves nothing less than a dose of his own KGB-esque medicine for what he wants done to Wikileaker Julian Assange. PS: What Jymn said!

32. Christian Fucking Whiton. Should be charged with crimes against humanity. Along with all his other cohorts from the Bush State Dept. But since all that happened before Obama, and apparently all those assholes STILL enjoy immunity from prosecution, a wank-listing here will have to do…for just opening his big fucking fascist yap and BREATHING.

33. Michael Fucking Welner. He can’t read Danish, and he hasn’t read the “evil” book, written by an incredibly oafish Danish “expert”, on whom he bases his “expert” testimony in the Omar Khadr case. His entire argumentative thrust is that Omar is evil because he is a Muslim and the Qur’an is an evil book that made him so. It’s the same bullshit you can hear from any jabbering idiot on talk radio. Yet we’re supposed to take him seriously as an expert? FAIL. This isn’t a trial, in case you’ve noticed, unless you refer to Stalinist kangaroo-court antics as “trials”.

And that’s it for this week. Here, have a cute video about trick-or-treating:

Now if you’ll excuse me, my broom is running. Gotta fly.

Good night, and get fucked!

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Gracias a la vida…

It’s hard for me to feel “festive”, exactly, when Néstor Kirchner is gone. But it’s Friday, and the man’s life deserves a round of applause; he achieved what many thought was impossible. So let’s start with a documentary that shows just what a position Argentina was in when he came to power:

He was in almost a cameo role there. And at the end it appears that he’s just another of the same old political class that screwed Argentina into the mess the workers are trying to pull it out of, one occupied factory at a time.

Happily, this proved not to be the case. Néstor Kirchner was a progressive who helped Argentina get away from its worst oppressor. He was not such a radical as the right-wing media made him out to be, but he made a big difference. And he did it with the help of his friends:

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I always liked this cute shot of him with Chavecito. The charm and friendship of the two is very apparent.

And Chavecito was only the first. As the economic and political tides of South America began to shift over the past decade, other progressive leaders came in line: Evo in Bolivia, Lula in Brazil, Correa in Ecuador, Lugo in Paraguay, Pepe Mujica in Uruguay. The continent began to pull together, with democratic self-rule the order of the day and solidarity among nations to give the project a firm economic spine. Today, there are only three conservative governments on the whole continent, and in spite of Washington’s efforts to isolate the progressives in the smaller countries, it is those in the larger ones, including Argentina, who have given notice that this sovereignty-self-rule-solidarity thing isn’t going away. In fact, it’s the conservatives who are becoming isolated. And if the recent Colombia-Venezuela quarrel is anything to go by, the conservatives are losing out by selling out. Their biggest trading partners, it turns out, are local and not in North America or Europe. And if one of them steps out of line, as Colombia did by bombing Ecuador in 2008, the disapproval of the larger fish, most notably Argentina, made it clear that the proxy wars of Washington Consensus days were not going to go the same old way anymore. The gringos and their puppets weren’t going to win this one. And indeed, Chavecito and Correa came out on top. Having the backing of the continent’s economic giants made a difference, just as it made a difference when Chavecito helped Kirchner shake off the IMF.

And now, Argentina needs that solidarity again. And is getting it:

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(Tweet-photo of Chavecito and widowed president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, by @mauriciominci.)

Let the ghouls of the markets celebrate Kirchner’s death. They don’t run that country anymore. The people do, and Néstor was on their side. So much so that the Mothers of Plaza de Mayo, who are implacable leftists, stopped holding their regular anti-government protests during his reign, declaring that they “no longer had an enemy” in office–an important first, since they have been protesting virtually uninterrupted since the dying days of the Junta. Theirs was a prominent presence at the funeral services today. That is a sign of approval that I think says it all. I’m celebrating his life, always in the hope that others will pick up where he left off and carry the great project forward.

Hasta siempre, Presidente.

El Ecuadorable pays his respects to Néstor Kirchner

Rafael Correa, president of Ecuador and pro tempore president of Unasur, speaks from the heart:

…and pulls no punches. No whitewashing Argentina’s dire past, and no underestimating the value of what Kirchner did for his country–and indeed, through his and Cristina’s solidarity, for Ecuador, which has seen a lot of tumult of late, what with Colombian bombings and CIA-backed coup attempts. That Latin American unity I talked about earlier today owes much to the intelligence and vision of Kirchner.

Like the man says: Not a moment of silence, but a loud and sustained applause, is the fitting tribute for Kirchner’s life and work.

¡Néstor vive, la lucha sigue!

Stupid Sex Tricks: One more thing NOT to do with a condom

What to call this jackass stunt? The Speed Test, maybe?

But hey. At least it proves that guys who say they’re too small for THEIR big bazookas…are LYING. So, no more excuses. Wrap up your packages before giving ‘em to the ladies, fellas.

Do you know somebody like this?

If you do, beware. This is what psychopathy looks like:


CALGARY–Police fear they are dealing with a person who lacks a moral conscience after someone left the severed head of a cat on a doorstep in a northeast Calgary neighbourhood.

Det. Scott Sampson says police fear the sociopath could commit more violent acts and are asking the public to come forward with tips.

The cat’s head was found on Monday while police were investigating a nearby arson case that happened in August.

Sampson says he believes the arson and the death of the cat are related.

He says anyone who would set fire to a home with people inside and then kill an innocent animal is showing all the traits of a sociopath.

And the scariest part is, the culprit’s identity is still unknown.That means this person–this psychopath–has no difficulty “passing” as nice and normal. And that’s why he’s still on the loose.

And there are lots of others like him. Just google the terms “cat killer” sometime. I got over 3 million search results.

That’s a lot of psycho.

People shy away from glassy-eyed zombies who talk to themselves on the street, but they let their guard down for the really horrible, utterly conscienceless ones like this guy. And when they do, terrible things happen. Ted Bundy was practically the model of a nice young man whom nobody suspected of being a serial killer. So was Paul Bernardo. So was John Gacy. So, until recently, was Russell Williams. That was how they all got away with the horrible things they did for so long. And had their masks not slipped, they might still be out there, doing their worst.

Remember this the next time you hear another of those stories where people say of a sadistic thug that he “seemed so normal”!

Posted in Sick Frickin' Bastards. Comments Off »

Néstor Kirchner, RIP

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Sad news from South America this morning:


The president of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, lamented the death of the former president of Argentina, Néstor Kirchner, with a message of solidarity for his Argentine counterpart, Cristina Fernández.

“Oh, my dear Cristina…how sad! What a great loss Argentina and our [Latin] America have suffered! Long live Kirchner, forever!” wrote the president on his Twitter page.

Kirchner died at age 60, of a heart attack, on Wednesday morning at home.

Translation mine.

It seems appropriate that Chavecito would choose to express himself the way he did; he and the now widowed Cristina have been chatting back and forth since they both got on the tweeter, and it’s lovely to follow their conversation. It’s also emblematic of just how far things have come in Latin America since 2003, when Néstor Kirchner was elected in the teeth of a total economic collapse in Argentina.

There’s a real solidarity in South America now that wasn’t there before. The repeated economic crises of the last 30-odd years have served as a forcing ground for progressive Latin American leaders. Venezuela’s collapse in 1989 shaped the destiny of Chávez, who staged a failed uprising in 1992 that won him popularity enough to become an elected leader; Argentina’s similar collapse, in 2001, pulled Kirchner out of the obscurity of the Patagonian state of Santa Cruz, where he had been governor, and catapulted him onto the national stage. By the time Kirchner was elected, Chávez had already been president of Venezuela for four years, and had survived a coup attempt. He was also in an excellent position to offer economic help to his Argentine friend, with the price of oil on the rise and Venezuela’s coffers filling. Kirchner was happy to accept the help, as he did the unthinkable: he put the IMF, his country’s biggest oppressor, over his knee and dealt it a sound spanking. Argentina grew again, and rapidly, with Kirchner at the helm; he became its most popular president since his party’s founder, Juan Perón.

Néstor Kirchner’s sudden death was somewhat foreseeable; he’d been in treatment for heart trouble earlier this year, and had surgery to open a blocked coronary artery. Between the famously beef-heavy Argentine eating habit and the high stress of his leadership role both openly and behind the scenes, life took its toll on Kirchner in a manner any cardiologist could have predicted. Sadly, the medical measures taken earlier didn’t do enough for him. The Justicialista (or Peronist) party will now have to choose another candidate for next year’s presidential elections, since Kirchner–widely favored for the role–is no longer with them.

Kirchner was never what you’d call handsome, and he wasn’t as radical as many (myself included) would have liked, but I always found him rather endearing. He took on what was, at the time, the least enviable role in Argentina, indeed all of Latin America. And he confounded all the skeptics. Not only did he last out his term (which about a half-dozen of his immediate predecessors did not), he also managed to get the IMF’s boot off his country’s neck, with help from Chavecito and the ALBA (the idea for which was actually conceived at Mar del Plata in 2005, when Chavecito attended a Kirchner-hosted summit, to the delight of a huge crowd of happy Argentines).

Néstor Kirchner was a lucky man to have such friends, and Argentina was lucky to have him when it needed someone–not a traditional charismatic caudillo like the evil enchanters of the Junta, but a democratic leader of real intelligence–to turn a god-awful situation around and throw the Washington Consensus out for good.

In fact, he was still at it as late as this month, kicking the IMF’s ass almost literally to his dying day. Solidarity and sovereignty are the legacies he leaves behind. Argentina is better today than it was ten years ago, thanks in no small part to him.

He will be missed!