Wankers of the Week: In like a liar, out like a sham


Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, I guess you all heard about the Big Dick’s new heart, eh? Yeah, he finally got a human one for the first time in his life. If that thing is really human, it’s gonna reject him prontissimo. I’m now taking bets as to when that will happen. Meanwhile, here are a whole bunch of wankers who are still on the list waiting for their hearts, their brains, their courage…or just a smidgen of some semblance of humanity:

1. Mitt Fucking Romney. If government is all about “looking for places to interfere”, then Mittens should fit right in. Along with all those other right-wing politicians wasting tax dollars trying to crawl up every woman’s vagina. PS: Tune-up time for Mittens!

2. Pat Fucking Robertson. Given how obsessively he harps on gays being “possessed by Satan”, I wonder if there aren’t quite a few little pink tutu-clad skeletons dancing Swan Lake in his closet. Sent, of course, by You Know Who.

3. Rick Fucking Saccone. It’s been the “Year of the Bible” every year now for, oh, only 2012 fucking years. Isn’t it time we gave this silly theocratic shit a rest?

4. Joe Fucking Oliver. I’m sorry, but I just can’t find it in my heart to feel pity for someone who shot and killed an unarmed kid for Eating Candy While Black. And who said “fucking coon” under his breath right before he did it. And no, I don’t believe it was “goons”, much less an endearment. Who the hell says endearing things of unarmed black kids he’s about to kill because “these assholes always get away”? Is “asshole” now an “endearment”, too?


5. Herman Fucking Cain. I have no idea what fucked-up point he was trying to make with that rabbit-killer ad, but it’s now obvious why he’s out of the race for the Repugnican leadership. So much repugnance is too repugnant, one would hope, even for THEM. (It certainly was as far as YouTube is concerned.)

6. Newt Fucking Gingrich. What? He’s still there? Yup. And by there, we mean in the septic tank, swimming with the feces. Nice to see his true colors at long last.

7. Shea Fucking Gunther. I won’t make a lengthy list of Dos and Don’ts regarding the crafting of rejection letters. I’ll simply say Don’t send the same “short and sweet”, interminable, insufferable rejection e-mail full of Dos and Don’ts to every one of your 900+ luckless applicants, fergawdsakes.

8. Rick Fucking Santorum. I’m just gonna leave this right here…


…and leave you to ponder the skeletons that must be kicking around in Taliban Ricky’s sweater-vest-stuffed closet. PS: Oh my, somebody came close to dropping an N-bomb! And we already know how RickyLeaks feels about blahhhhh people.

9. Ron Fucking Johnson. Oh lordy, lordy, good Gordie. I am SO tired of old teabagger men trying to tell women how (not) to do birth control. And I am even MORE tired of the “religious freedom” argument. Here’s an idea, Ronnie…how ’bout YOU just shoving a fistful of teabags in your mouth, a fistful of aspirin between your knees, and going the hell AWAY?

10. Geraldo Fucking Rivera. Nice passive-aggressive non-apology thing you got goin’ there, Gerry. I’m sure Trayvon Martin’s family feels sooooo much better and un-insulted NOW.

11. Ileana Fucking Ros-Lehtinen. Well, let’s just say this for the rabid ol’ bat: she ain’t no one-trick pony. Here I thought that her entire career consisted of trying to kill Fidel Castro and persecute Cuba. Turns out she’s also trying to kill pregnant teenagers and persecute anyone who tries to help them get an abortion without their parents finding out and, you know, KILLING them. Boy, does it ever feel great to be wrong about HER!


12. Jedidiah Fucking Jenkins. You know, it’s uncanny, but that is EXACTLY what we imagine the Kony 2012 people did with most of that money that went to their so-called charity. Because when only one-tenth of it goes to, you know, actual AFRICANS, it’s kind of hard not to jump to conclusions of that sordid nature.

13. Courtney Fucking Stodden. Just when I thought she was gone, she popped her lacquer-dipped head up again to annoy us further. Which takes a fair bit of doing. And just when I thought PETA couldn’t get any more fucking annoying (and disgusting)…it DID. Which also takes a fair bit of doing!

14. Tucker Fucking Carlson. Speaking of annoying and disgusting, how about Fratboy McFloppyhair? Apparently, a non-white person who dares to broach the subject of rampant, institutionalized and ongoing racism anywhere is…brace yourselves…A RACE-BAITER! Yes, folks, that’s the dog-whistle term from Right Wingnuttia for anyone non-white who insists on being treated with dignity and respect, rather than cringingly waiting for the crumbs to fall from Ol’ Massa’s table. If you’re gonna talk about “race-baiting”, Fucker, talk about THIS. Because gee, the timing of THAT is awfully opportune, don’tcha think?

15. Debbie Fucking Lesko. Ha, ha. That is all.


16. Dominique Fucking Strauss-Kahn. His teflon coating may have caused those rape charges (from a black woman of low socioeconomic status, natch) to slide right off him. But high-class prostitution with (I’m guessing all white) call girls sent as “gifts” and “luggage” by his oh-so-thoughtful, equally rich and ultra-sexist friends? That might well be a different matter. And even if those charges go nowhere, at least we can see his real attitude towards women in all its glory. He refers to these women euphemistically but in terms of inanimate objects. A halfway human type might at least use words like “colleague” or “friend” or “date”, rather than “gift”, or “luggage”…or “package”, or “bicycle”.

17. Stephanie Fucking Eisner. Crappy editorial cartoon is crappy. And if you’re going to scream inarticulately about media bias through your crappy, racism-skirting editorial cartoons, how about looking at the facts, kiddo, and admitting that the media for the most part have given George Zimmerman a free pass until just this last week or so?

18. Nancy Fucking Brinker. Oh dears, it looks like somebody’s pink merchandise just ain’t sellin’ like it used to. I think I may have to squeeze out a tiny pink crocodile tear or two.


19. Marty Fucking Burke. Wow, talk about your sore fucking losers. First, he challenged (unsuccessfully) for Frank Valeriote’s seat in Parliament, using all kinds of shabby tricks, from attempting to disenfranchise Guelph university students voting at a special advance poll (he even sent an operative to snatch the ballot box!), to robocalls misdirecting Valeriote supporters to another location, one NOT sanctioned by Elections Canada (which, in any event, does NOT call people to tell them their polls have moved to another location, because it does not move polls.) And now Burke claims he’s being harassed by the press? Yeah, Marty McNot-So-Fly, anybody coming to ask you some perfectly legitimate questions is a terrible harasser. But only if you’ve got a lot to hide, pal.

20. Michele Fucking Bachmann. Still there. Still looking crazy. Still talking crazy, too. Why the media still treat her like she’s relevant, however, is a question that may never be answered. Oh wait, she was only on FUX Snooze. That’s not journalism, that’s just wingnut crapaganda. My mistake!

21. John Fucking Baird. Squealer wouldn’t know what was right if it confronted him at high noon with six-shooters drawn. So it’s awfully funny to see him contorting his face over the whole concept of standing up for it.

22. Garry Fucking Breitkreuz. One-size-fits-all stoopid still burns. Guns for girls? To prevent rape? Um, NO. The REAL way to prevent sexual assault is to TEACH BOYS NOT TO RAPE, you fucking dumbass!


23. Rob Fucking Anders. “Straight forward” and “common sense”? Also “dumb ass”. What would be TRULY straight-forward and common-sense is getting Sleepyhead out of Parliament for good. Also, who would trust this somnolent idiot with a gun? Not I.

24. George Fucking Zimmerman. Surprise, surprise, surprise, the killer LIED! There was no fight, he has no injuries, and Trayvon Martin is still dead for no good reason. Unless, of course, you consider “He’s tall, black, was wearing a hoodie, and toting a can of tea and a bag of Skittles” to be good reasons. Also, dude looks like a skinhead. WITHOUT a skinned head. Things that make you go hmmmm…

25. Jim Fucking Flaherty. If all of our prices are rounded up to the nearest nickel come fall, you know who to blame. Yes, that’s right, people…Copper (not Diamond) Jim!


And finally, to all the racists, Klukers, Stormfronters and other assorted fascist scum out there who are STILL trying to make out like Trayvon Martin was somehow to blame for getting his teenage ass killed: Shut the fuck up. Go the hell away. Find yourselves a nice desert island, far away from the rest of the world, and move there if this world doesn’t please you. Slink back under the rock from whence you came, and never rear your ugly, sheet-hooded heads again. YOU are the reason for the toxic climate of racism that got an innocent teenager killed for Eating Candy While Black. And now you’ve resorted to hacking and falsifying the dead boy’s e-mails? At long last, assholes, HAVE YOU NO FUCKING SHAME?

Good night, and get fucked!


Festive Left Friday Blogging: René González comes home, and so does Chavecito

René González, a Cuban anti-terror agent (and one of the famous Cuban Five, imprisoned in the US on espionage charges) gets a supervised leave of absence to visit his sick brother back home. As you can see in the video, it was a time for happy tears. It won’t be a permanent stay, unfortunately, since he’s still on parole in the US and is slated to return there, but you can bet that he’ll be making the most of his time at home.

Meanwhile, Chavecito is home from Cuba again after another round of cancer treatments, and he’s looking very well:

A warm welcome from rapper Rodbexa (at right) and a huge crowd of supporters. A much-needed lift for the spirits, too. Chavecito’s going to be doing a lot more travelling back and forth between Cuba and Venezuela in the not so distant future.

Posted in Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), Festive Left Friday Blogging, Huguito Chavecito. Comments Off on Festive Left Friday Blogging: René González comes home, and so does Chavecito »

Stupid Sex Tricks: How NOT to hug a tree

Environmentalism: Ur doin it rong. Also, stay the fuck off of drugs. And bros on drugs.


A pole-dancer, you say? Blimey!

Most middle-aged Brits keep fit by doing pint curls in the local pub. But this one‘s found another, and arguably healthier, exercise…which, coincidentally, is also done in a lot of bars:

A father of two has found a clever way to watch pole dancers without getting into trouble – by becoming one.

Happily married Paul Bradley, 53, has made loads of new friends through his hobby – who all happen to be toned and blonde.

The IT worker, from West Wellow, Hants, spends hours in the dance studio working up a sweat with his super-fit classmates and says it’s probably the best work-out he’s ever had.


Paul has even installed an eight-foot pole in his garage where he and his friends can practice.
The former rugby player and competitive weightlifter says pole fitness routines have boosted his strength and stamina so much he can outstrip men half his age for fitness.

‘My 25-year-old son challenged me to a sit up contest recently. I did 50 sit ups with a 60kg kettlebell on my chest with ease – he didn’t stand a chance,’ he said.

Now Paul impresses family and friends by hanging upside by his legs and performing moves more commonly seen in strip clubs.

The fitness fanatic says his wife Kitty, 53, and sons Nick, 25, and Simon, 23, now brag about his pole skills to their friends.

He said: ‘My wife loves dropping into conversation that her husband is a pole dancer. A lot of women might be jealous of how much time I spend with beautiful women, but she’s fine with it – she thinks it’s hilarious watching me.

‘She has nothing to worry about, I’m now doing it because I love the sport of it. My sons tease me about it but they bring their friends over to watch me in the garage.’

Well, that’s all right, then. And my hat’s off to anyone who can do (and hold) one of those upside-down splits without falling on their head.

BTW, he’s not kidding about it being quite the workout. Pole-dancing is so physically challenging that it’s actually a martial art for men in India:

And in China, it’s not unusual to see acrobats who can do this:

And how about this fabulous flying Frenchman?

C’est très impressionant, oui?

I think we ought to have a lot more male pole dancers in the bars over here. I’d pay to see these guys anyday.


Adrienne Rich has died

She was 82. Here is one of her many great, necessary poems that holds up a mirror to her own country:

Sleep well, great lady. Blessed be thy name!

Posted in Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Obits and 'bobs, The United States of Amnesia, Uppity Wimmin. Comments Off on Adrienne Rich has died »

I was wondering when THEY would show up…

Hot on the heels of Trayvon Martin’s murder by an armed white vigilante, we get…this:

And this is what THAT was all about:

A member of the Ku Klux Klan was arrested in Mount Victory, Ohio over the weekend after he allegedly pulled a gun and threatened to shoot a black man during a march.

Kevin Allan Gibbs, 22, was arrested and charged with misdemeanor aggravated menacing, a first-degree misdemeanor, according to the Hardin County Sheriff’s Office.


“I was cooking supper, and that’s when I saw them over on the other side of the street,” Wayne Miller, who lives in the area, told WBNS. “The guy in the white robe was reading off a book, or pamphlets very loudly as he was walking by.”

Miller recalled that Gibbs pulled out a gun and pointed it at the ground after the black man “got in their face and yelled at them.”

“When he pulled out his gun, he said, ‘I’ll kill you,’ and the girl with him said, ‘He’ll shoot you dead,’ and then he said the ‘n’ word,” Miller explained.

“I started to move in his direction and was going to use my cane to hit the gun or his arm, whatever I had to do,” he added.

This is what happens when you don’t take out the trash, people…it starts to stink. Then it attracts flies. Then it grows legs and starts to go on racist marches.

And how ’bout them guns? Yeah, that’s the NRA’s core constituency right there, whether THEY admit it, or not.

All you right-wing idiots out there trying to make out like racism is not the problem, but “race-baiting” is? Try to explain THAT away for me. Go ahead, TRY. Because even the most obvious, egregious and in-your-face racism is common as dirt still, it seems. And if you can’t see it, it’s because you don’t poke your smug, ugly heads out the window and look around enough.


Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle.

He works out!

Posted in Obamarama!. Comments Off on Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle. »

Quotable: George Carlin on incentives


Music for a Sunday: Chilean rap fights back

Chilean rap group Portavoz (“Spokesperson”) questions the “popularity” of the Piñera government. Here’s my translation of the lyrics:

They want to crush you, kicked and tossed out like a plasta*
Liquored up and doped until you say basta
Anguished and drugged with cocaine paste, no doubt
You’ve asked why a dictatorship lets hard drugs in

They want you working far away from any union
Working just cool, without disobeying orders
They want you down lower than the fart of a guanaco
If you protest for reconstruction like the people of Dichato

They want you weighed down with exhaustion and stress
So that afterwords, with control in hand, you’ll watch Morandé on TV
Or the [cop show] “133” so you’ll respect authority
They want you stupefied and caught up in reality

They want us in school, but only to prepare us
To be cheap labor, daddy, under orders
They want the occupation to turn into a drinking binge
It’s no joke, take the struggle seriously and for real

They want you indifferent in the face of the present
Like an inert being, obedient in the face of the manager,
The agent or any director, who represents
The interests and mindset of the the régime of the powerful

They want you to go on navel-gazing
Because divided, we’ll go on forever conquered
They want you, yes, but they want to screw you
Because they want more fresh money and to hang onto power

Every society has its organization
Which is no coincidence, it has planning
And those who dominate from above are the rich
They want you dominated, rigid, blinded and submissive
And if they want me ignorant, I’ll inform myself
And if they want me obedient, I won’t buy it
And if they want me destroyed I won’t stand for it
Capitalism, the cataclysm in which they want you trapped

They want us like a junkie on the corner, a zombie of the store window
A dumbass with no opinion, conquering your life
Competing even with your buddies all the time
Conditioned by their fucking ideology

They want more patches, but no structural changes
They want you to march, but without touching their property
They want us to protest tamely, like idiots
And when they get back in power, they want to kill us by the thousands

They want you to cry if a TV show host dies
And that you ignore the murder of Manuel Gutiérrez
They want you to believe the police will protect you
When in fact they’re the hunting-falcons of the bourgeois

They want you to be happy with two or three fucking gambas**
While senators make 16 million a month
They want you to read the papers, the TV and the news
That they’re the bosses and owners of, the same ones who

Want you to think your vote is powerful in truth
And vote for whom you will, the same few will rule
The Concerta*** or the right, it’s all the same shit
They represent big business, brother, remember

They want to go on robbing and stealing legally
But we won’t stand for it, now our people are protesting
And while those on high are accumulating capital
We down below are accumulating rage and the strength to wipe them out.

*plasta = a dull, lazy person
**gambas = “shrimps”, 100-peso Chilean coins
***Concerta = Concertación, a centre-left Chilean coalition of parties

Linkage added.

Thanks to Rodrigo Uribe for tweeting me that ‘tube!

Posted in Chile Sin Queso, Music for a Sunday. Comments Off on Music for a Sunday: Chilean rap fights back »

Wankers of the Week: Spring Break at Club Smeg


Crappy weekend, everyone! Well. How’re we all enjoying our March Break? Not at all, you say? I’m not surprised. Look who’s fucking with my peace of mind this week, in no particular order:

1. Ellen Fucking Johnson-Sirleaf. Excuse me, ma’am, but why did you win the Nobel Peace Prize, again? Failing to support human rights in the country you govern is just plain shameful. And yes, gay people are human. They are not the sum of their “acts”. And seriously, FUCK “traditional values”. If you cannot make a tradition of understanding and accepting nature’s variations on a theme, your traditions are not worth shit.

2. Rick Fucking Santorum. Oh look, RickyLeaks got himself a spray tan. Now he can join Boehner in the weeping of the big orange crocodile tears. And what’s this “Tweedledum” shit? Coming from Tweedle-dumber, that’s downright rich. And really, Ricky…if you’re gonna castigate Mittens for talking out of both sides of his mouth on “moral” issues, you’d better watch your own. You used to be pro-choice too. Pot, kettle, etc. PS: And speaking of both sides of his mouth, get a load of RickyLeaks now, claiming he never talked about contraception. O RLY?

3. Dennis Fucking Terry. If Icky Ricky still doesn’t strike you as a theocrat yet, maybe you need to watch this horrible preacher introducing him at a rally. He thinks the US should be inhabited only by “Christians”. (Note the quotes and draw your own conclusions as to what’s meant by that, kiddies.)


4. Neil Fucking Livingstone. Speaking of lovely family-values Repugs who talk out of both sides of their mouths, how about this one? He wrote a manual on how to pick up “hookers” (his word!), and even admits to having been on a yacht where his wife was “the only non-hooker on board”. He also advises people on how to do drugs in foreign countries without overdoing it. But then he turns around and claims he had no personal experience with drugs and prostitution, nor that he was advising people on how to do them. Guess he must have done so much of both that it screwed with his memories of having written that very explicit manual, which sure sounds like it was written with the voice of experience!

5. Bristol Fucking Palin. Let’s stick with Fraudulent Family Values a bit more, and see what the Alaskan Kardashians of politics are up to, shall we? Oh dear, trying to wangle an apologetic phone call from Barack Obama, for ugly words actually uttered by Bill Maher? Not smart, considering that Mama Grizzly actually defended the Pigman after his notorious three-day outburst of “slut” and “whore”, the same that’s now costing him sponsors and supporters, and which got Sandra Fluke a supportive call from His Barackness Himself. But thanks a lot, Bristol, for pointing up just how fucking two-faced your own side really is. Not to mention what a bunch of shallow attention hogs your own family are.

6. Chuck Fucking Winder. Apparently, pregnant women seeking abortions don’t really know what’s in their uteri. Poor dumb dears, they don’t even know how that stuff all got there. They can’t tell rape or incest from Normal Marital Relations. Or — oops — maybe it’s Chuck Fucking Winder who can’t, and who’s trying to legislate his ignorance onto the rest of his fellow Idahoans? (And does he have a Facebook page, I wonder? Or some mailing address I could send a crocheted, stuffed uterus to?)


PS: And he just got stupider. I have the strangest ladyfacepalm!

7. Lynndie Fucking England. I’m trying really hard, but I can’t find a single thing even remotely sympathetic to say. The closest I can get to it is WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING ACTUAL FUCK???

8. David Fucking Cameron. Congratulations on having made “Backward Britain” a reality at last. You complete and utter fucking tool.

9. Peter Fucking Kent. Incurious ex-journalist castigates curious current journalists for journalistic curiosity. Curiouser and curiouser!

10. Glenn Fucking Beck. I know, I know. I’m as shocked as you are that he’s still in existence. That he hasn’t (yet) Breitbarted out on us. But yes, he’s still around, still trying to seem relevant, and still as racist as ever. And still as deep in denial as ever, too. River in Egypt, Cleo.


11. Terri Fucking Proud. Yes, let’s lump this Proud Imbecile in with #6, since both of them seem to think women are as stupid about abortions as THEY are. Newsflash, lady: We don’t NEED to see an abortion to know what’s entailed, as accurate (and not anti-choice-biased) information is already available on the Internets. And even if we did see one (and believe me, there’s not much to see in the case of a vacuum extraction, which is what nine out of 10 abortions are), it wouldn’t change our minds.

12. Mike Fucking Daisey. Rule #1 of successful storytelling: Never stretch the facts to fit your ego. Rule #2: Go back and read Rule #1.

13. Alan Fucking Dick. Nice name you got there, bud. Fits you, too. As for your idea that we should get men to sign abortion permission slips for us (again)? FUCK YOU, DICK. We don’t need your permission to get pregnant, and we shouldn’t have to seek your permission to get un-pregnant, either.

14. Lou Fucking Engle. What does the murder of Trayvon Martin have to do with Planned Parenthood and abortion? In reality, nothing. But in the far-from-real world of the Religious Reich, it’s yet another opportunity to declare a Two Minute Hate on women’s rights. Along with gay and minority civil rights, of course. Because the Religious Reich loves to pretend it cares about black people while promoting the very kind of politics that tramples their rights straight back into the Jim Crow dirt.


15. Debbie Fucking Lesko. Yep, she’s a wanker again this week. And this week’s wank consists of losing her shit, hijacking a mike, and just generally making an even bigger ass of herself than she was last week. If such things are even possible. Because, you see, last week she proposed the mother of all stupid laws, in which Big Business takes over from Big Government in the momentous task of intruding into each and every woman’s uterus, and denying women the right to look after it themselves.

16. James O’Fucking Keefe. Considering how he’s such a concern troll for chastity and against abortion, even going to the length of pretending to be a pimp in order to paint Planned Parenthood as some kind of evil enabler, I’m sure you’ll all appreciate just how delicious is the irony that he’s now being accused of rape by someone who used to work with him. And even tastier: The accusation sure smells credible.

17. Lisa Fucking Raitt. Her anti-worker assholery led to a wildcat strike among Air Canada workers. It takes real talent to do that! In the words of my best friend, who almost nailed it here: “Lisa [Fucking] Raitt is a self-entitled spoiled brat who has always had things handed to her — and leaves things in a mess once she’s forced to move on. She’s been caught abusing her expense accounts in previous jobs and is only ever out for Lisa [Fucking] Raitt and the power and prestige she thinks she can accumulate.” You forgot the Fucking; fixed it for you!


18. Ann Fucking Coulter. Hey, Harpy McCrazybitch, shut the fuck up about liberals. Your side started all the dirty low-down mudslinging that created this climate of casual misogyny and anything-goes. YOUR side declared liberals’ kids to be fair game. Remember Rush Fucking Limbaugh and his “Chelsea Clinton, the White House Dog” crack? Guess you must have been awfully high at the time, you missed that. Also, you’re too late to the “let’s slam the Obama children” party; Rick Fucking Santorum already got there ahead of you.

19. Andrew Fucking Lansley. Yeah, I bet that “pre-signed abortion consent form” shocker of yours is one helluva piece of red meat to toss to a public that isn’t buying your government’s Great Leap Backward into the bad old days of privatized medicine and barefoot-and-pregnant. I don’t see how it could possibly backfire, either.

20. Dharun Fucking Ravi. Bringing a date into a dorm in front of roomies does NOT equal consent to an illegal (and gay-shaming) webcam recording of a subsequent encounter. Neither does being shy and unsociable. But thanks for trying to make out like it does.

21. Geraldo Fucking Rivera. So this is his way of trying to stay relevant? Blaming Trayvon Martin’s hoodie for his murder? What a crock of shit. I’ve worn hoodies for years, and no one’s ever given me a hard time for it. Maybe being a middle-class white woman helps?


PS: Ha, ha. PPS: Oh, look who else is a hoodie-wearin’ thug. The entire Miami Heat basketball team!

22. Pat Fucking Robertson. Okay, Patwa has finally gone through the fucking Looking Glass. Tim Tebow is nothing but a sanctimonious halfwit. And putting a hex on his former team for trading him is pretty damn sanctimonious and half-witted, too. If God really cared that much about football, and football players who invoke Jesus, don’t you think the Broncos would have won the Super Bowl while they still had him?

23. Donald Fucking Pridemore. Yep, he’s a wanker again this week. For outsourcing his e-mail answering duties to a “dunass” who can’t spell. Ladies and gents, please give it up for Bill Fucking Savage, a moran who won’t last long in that crappy job.

24. Lisa Fucking Taddeo. Other Woman writes convoluted, self-serving crap piece blaming unsexy wives for their dickweed husbands’ cheating. Esquire publishes it, apparently without even trying to get her to rewrite that hot mess into something vaguely intelligible. I’m hard-pressed to say who’s the bigger wanker — the Other Woman who can’t write, or the editor who okayed that fucking shitpile. Are they that hard-up for prurient page filler to stick between the glitzy ads over there? This is a serious candidate for the Bad Sex Writing Awards, people — but that much wankage takes more than one to rub out.


And finally, to whoever fucked with the online voting process at this weekend’s NDP leadership convention. Thanks to your DDOS attack, I only managed to vote once, in the advance poll; maybe that’s just as well, since I was at least not forced to choose between Mulcair and Topp, neither of whom I would have picked EVER, as neither one is my idea of a real progressive. But now I’m obviously stuck with one of those two, and come the next federal election, I’ll be holding my nose for the first time ever while still voting NDP. I’m not happy that my party has been forcibly dragged to the right by persons unknown. Know this: I may not know who you are, but I have a pretty fair idea what party you’re with. You’ve got major bad karma coming, asshole. Hope you can withstand the shitstorm, because I am laying a big-time hex on your Tory, er, SORRY ass.

Good night, and get fucked!