Stupid Sex Tricks: The way to a neo-Nazi’s heart is…

…through his, um, well, YOU know…

Yeah, THAT’ll work. Did any of these guys actually get laid as a result of their little stroll through Charlottesville, where nobody wanted them? Most likely not. If anything, they got laughed at…right before they got outed all over the internet and lost their jobs, thus making them even LESS desirable as prospective partners. Who wants a jackass who blew his future (or even just his crummy little present) out of the water just because he’s nostalgic for a not-so-golden past?

Look, dudes: That old Sylvia Plath verse about how “every woman adores a fascist” was written in a spirit of bitterest sarcasm. It was about her would-be alpha-male husband who left her in the lurch to chase other women. She despised him for that. She did not go running after his sorry ass, begging him to come home and maltreat her some more. She preferred to die rather than do that, and she did.

And here’s another deep, dark secret: Women don’t really love (or even just want to fuck) shitty dudes simply because they’re shitty. Not the smart ones, at any rate. Nobody’s gonna think you’re a badass for strutting around in crappy polo shirts and khakis and fashboy haircuts and toting a tiki torch, unless she herself is an idiot. Or unless maybe she was raised in a convent and is therefore mentally and morally stunted. (Still an idiot, in other words.)

You may want to take that into consideration if you plan on procreating and producing kids who are actually a cut above the rest. And you might want to leave the polos, khakis and tiki torches at home before you go on any dates.

If you can still get ’em, that is.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail
This entry was posted in Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't It Ironic?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Stupid Sex Tricks, Teh Heterostoopid, The United States of Amnesia. Bookmark the permalink.