A few random thoughts on a former general

I have a terrible confession to make: When the news of the Petraeus sex scandal broke this past week, my first reaction was to chuckle. Not in the usual “ha ha, another cheatypants got caught, serves him right” sense (although there was no small amount of Schadenfreude there, either); it was more out of a sardonic sense of irresistible metaphor. It was all about an irony that had been hiding, as all such ironies do, in very plain sight.

And yes, I have to admit, the embarrassment of it all tickled me, too. Aren’t intelligence agents constantly being warned about the dangers of seduction, when they’re not being instructed to use it to gain information they can’t get any other way? How delicious, then, to see the head of the world’s most feared and hated spy agency caught in the same trap his covert agents have set repeatedly, all over the world. And how hilariously ironic that the same terrorist traps the FBI keeps setting in vain, under the auspices of the so-called Patriot Act, ended up catching not some obscure cell with nefarious world-takeover plans, but a four-star general who’d at one point led the war against precisely such insurgencies. Or so we’re told by our lovely presstitutes.

After all, the former general and CIA director wasn’t just boinking some boring little bottle-blonde secretary; the Other Woman was his chief hagiographer. She was a military veteran and West Point grad herself. Just like him, she was in the business of selling neoconservatism, bad ideologies, and wars that cost a fucking fortune in every conceivable sense. She did not keep a low profile, as Other Women are wont to do. She was constantly thrusting herself into the spotlight to sing his praises (and promote her magnum opus). She was the person who spit-shined his medals to a high gloss in a “biography” that seemed to be written, at times, from straight inside his pants. There was no pretense of objectivity, only a constant, unremitting effort to elevate David Petraeus to divinity. A divinity which, even then, we peaceniks and Dirty Fucking Hippies knew he did not deserve.

But the media brushed right past us. It ignored what the former intelligence professionals were saying, too, about the BushCo wars being unwinnable. They hopped right on the pro-war bandwagon. They praised the “brilliant” strategy and lost sight of the reality on the ground. Gosh oh golly gee wow, isn’t David Petraeus wonderful? Yeah, that Iraq surge went great. So great that Iraq is now permanently fucked. Petraeus made that.

And that’s not all he made. He damn near dragged the Obama administration into yet another unwinnable neo-con war, this one with Iran. And on the flimsiest and dumbest of pretexts, too:

One person familiar with the Obama administration’s thinking said President Obama was never close to Petraeus, who was viewed as a favorite of the neoconservatives and someone who had undercut a possible solution to Iran’s nuclear program in 2011 by pushing a bizarre claim that Iranian intelligence was behind an assassination plot aimed at the Saudi ambassador to Washington.

As that case initially evolved, the White House and Justice Department were skeptical that the plot traced back to the Iranian government, but Petraeus pushed the alleged connection which was then made public in a high-profile indictment. The charges further strained relations with Iran, making a possible military confrontation more likely.

At the time, Washington Post columnist David Ignatius, a favored recipient of official CIA leaks, reported that “one big reason [top U.S. officials became convinced the plot was real] is that CIA and other intelligence agencies gathered information corroborating the informant’s juicy allegations and showing that the plot had support from the top leadership of the elite Quds Force of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps, the covert action arm of the Iranian government.”

Ignatius added that, “it was this intelligence collected in Iran” that swung the balance. But Ignatius offered no examples of what that intelligence was. Nor did Ignatius show any skepticism regarding Petraeus’s well-known hostility toward Iran and how that might have influenced the CIA’s judgment.

As it turned out, the case was based primarily on statements from an Iranian-American car dealer Mansour Arbabsiar, who clumsily tried to hire drug dealers to murder Saudi Ambassador Adel Al-Jubeir, though Arbabsiar was actually talking to a Drug Enforcement Agency informant. Arbabsiar pled guilty last month as his lawyers argued that their client suffers from a bipolar disorder. In other words, Petraeus and his CIA escalated an international crisis largely on the word of a person diagnosed by doctors of his own defense team as having a severe psychiatric disorder.

Despite the implausibility of the assassination story and the unreliability of the key source, the Washington press corps quickly accepted the Iranian assassination plot as real. That assessment reflected the continued influence of neoconservatives in Official Washington and Petraeus’s out-sized reputation among journalists.

The neocons, who directed much of President George W. Bush’s disastrous foreign policy and filled the ranks of Mitt Romney’s national security team, have favored a heightened confrontation with Iran in line with the hardline position of Israel’s Likud Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. In the post-election period, it is a top neocon goal to derail Obama’s efforts to work out a peaceful settlement of the dispute over Iran’s nuclear program. The neocons favor “regime change.”

If ever there was a reason to be glad Mitt Romney lost the election, there it is. One more foreign policy disaster. Brought to you by the same PNAC/Likud faction that brought you the Afghan and Iraq catastrophes. Let’s not forget that Iran was always on the keeker; it was part of the “Axis of Evil”, remember?

Thankfully Barack Obama wasn’t dumb enough to fall for that flimsy tale. (You can see now why he was wise to end the Iraq invasion, too, can’t you? We’ll talk more about Afghanistan when he realizes it’s past time to shut that one down, too. Maybe now he’ll finally start firing all those BushCo leftovers on his team and start fresh with sane people. Hope ‘n’ change, people — get the fuck ON with it.)

Meanwhile, the same media imbeciles who were so busy promoting every highly-polished Petraeus turd that they couldn’t even look up for an instant, are in mourning. The same David Ignatius who took the Iranian lunatic’s lie and ran with it is now weeping tears of blood. Too bad he forgot something:

Ignatius adoringly adduces the following quote from Petraeus as proof of the ex-general’s acute vision: “As I see it, strategic leadership is fundamentally about big ideas, and, in particular, about four tasks connected with big ideas. First, of course, you have to get the big ideas right — you have to determine the right overarching concepts and intellectual underpinnings to accomplish your organization’s mission.

“Second, you have to communicate the big ideas effectively through the breadth and depth of the organization. Third, you have to oversee the implementation of the big ideas. And fourth, and finally, you have to capture lessons from the implementation of the big ideas, so that you can refine the overarching concepts and repeat the overall process.”

Got that? That’s probably right out of Petraeus’s PhD dissertation at Princeton, or from a how-to book that might be called “Management Rhetoric for Dummies.”

If only Petraeus and his colleague generals remembered the smaller – but far more relevant – ideas inculcated in all of us Army officers in Infantry School at Fort Benning in the early Sixties. This is what I recall from memory regarding what an infantry officer needed to do before launching an operation – big or small – division or squad size.

Corny (and gratuitous) as it may sound, we were taught that the absolute requirement was to do an “Estimate of the Situation” that included the following key factors: Enemy strength, numbers and weapons; Enemy disposition, where are they?; Terrain; Weather; and Lines of communication and supply (LOCS). In other words, we were trained to take into account those “little ideas,” like facts and feasibility that, if ignored, could turn the “big ideas” into a March of Folly that would get a lot of people killed for no good reason.

Could it be that they stopped teaching these fundamentals as Petraeus went through West Point and Benning several years later? Did military history no longer include the futile efforts of imperial armies to avoid falling into the “graveyard of empires” in Afghanistan?

What about those LOCS? When you can’t get there from here, is it really a good idea to send troops and armaments the length of Pakistan and then over the Hindu Kush? And does anyone know how much that kind of adventure might end up costing?

To Army officers schooled in the basics, it was VERY hard to understand why the top Army leadership persuaded President Barack Obama to double down, twice, in reinforcing troops for a fool’s errand. And let’s face it, unless you posit that the generals and the neoconservative strategic “experts” at Brookings and AEI were clueless, the doubling down was not only dumb but unconscionable.

Small wonder all the talk about “long war” and Petraeus’s glib prediction that our grandchildren will still be fighting the kind of wars in which he impressed the likes of David Ignatius.

Ike Eisenhower wasn’t kidding when he talked about the Military-Industrial Complex. And Smedley Butler wasn’t talking out his hat either when he said that war was a racket. What Ray McGovern, the veteran intel pro who opposed these wars from the outset, understands that the media doesn’t, is that wars are not won or lost on the basis of who’s got the “big ideas” and “overarching concepts”. The people on the ground don’t give a shit for those. And the locals will only see foreign invaders and oppressors, NOT Big Ideas And Overarching Concepts. They’re not stupid; they know what a foreign uniform and gun mean. Their hearts and minds are not winnable with big talk; you might as well be tossing cluster bombs to their kids as candy from the tank turrets.

The salesmanlike bullshit of Petraeus ought to be apparent even to those of us who don’t have the privilege of a West Point officer-training course. If you’ve heard similar things from some civilian in a cheap suit and dismissed it accordingly (and I have, and I bet you have too), why buy it when it comes courtesy of some big-brass guy with a folksy-shucksy grin and a chestful of medals?

Oh yeah, that’s right: the only bright spot, if you can call it that, in the Bush Recession, was that there were plenty of job opportunities for young, poor, barely-educated cannon fodder. It’s the economy, stupid! At a time when well-paying manufacturing jobs are being cut and shipped overseas to where labor is so cheap that at times it amounts to outright slavery, what’s left at home? The so-called service economy. Which is also so poorly paid that it might as well be slavery. You can’t afford rent, much less a starter home, on a McJob paycheque. So when the handsome young guys in the spiffy uniforms approach you, ever so personably, at the mall, trying to interest you in the Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines, and tell you you can get your college education and better job opportunities that way, you start to think of entering a different kind of service opportunity, one that will glorify you some day as a Veteran. Assuming that you come out alive. Would you like fries with that?

So yeah, the snickering from my corner is full of a sense of vindication. What has the whole neo-con project been, if not a vast international fuckfest replete with lies, deception, doubletalk and crapaganda? One in which the media whores focused with lover-like intensity on the well-polished turds falling from the lips of “institute” hacks and four-star generals alike, while troops on the ground were killing and dying for, well, nothing?

Ah, maybe I shouldn’t say nothing. They killed and died, committed atrocities and fell victim to atrocities, for something, all right.

They did it all for bullshit.

The Koch Bros are getting desperate, I see.

When they have to take out ads for crapaganda sites like this, you know that Big Oil’s corrupting influence barons are running scared. And is that a tip of the hand as to which side of the recent election they were supporting? Betcha.

Defeat THIS, CIA!

Think you can take this guy, motherfuckers? Rafael Correa says “Make my day, punk”:

The president of Ecuador, Rafael Correa, said today that there is an alleged plot by the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) to prevent his re-election in the presidential elections, to be held on February 17, 2013.

The head of state denounced the matter by way of his Twitter account, referring to an article published on a blog by the former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray.

“British ex-ambassador says the CIA has plans to topple Rafael Correa,” wrote the president.

According to Craig Murray’s blog, the CIA has invested 87 million US dollars into its efforts to sink the Ecuadorian president.

Following the Venezuelan presidential elections of October 7, in which Hugo Chávez was re-elected president for the third time, the Pentagon tripled its budget for influencing the Ecuadorian elections, writes Murray.

“This will find its way into opposition campaign coffers and be used to fund, bribe or blackmail media and officials. Expect a number of media scandals and corruption stings against Correa’s government in the next few weeks,” added the former British diplomat.

Craig Murray maintains that the State Department was surprised by the triumph of Hugo Chávez in the last Venezuelan elections.

He adds: “I do not have much background on Ecuadorean politics and I really do not know what Correa’s chances of re-election are. Neither do I know if any of the opposition parties are decent and not in the hands of the USA. But I do know that the USA very much want Correa to lose, were very confident that he was going to lose, and now are not.”

According to US sources cited by Murray, the administration of president Barack Obama will not use those funds to foment another coup against Correa. “That has apparently been ruled out.”

In the event of a pro-US leader coming to power in Ecuador, the asylum granted by Correa’s government to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange could be cancelled, the ex-diplomat said.

“[T]he Metropolitan Police [could be] invited in to the Embassy of Ecuador to remove him, and Assange sent immediately to Sweden from where he could be extradited to the United States to face charges of espionage and aiding terrorism.”

Assange has been taking refuge since last June in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, following a request for political asylum, which Quito granted near the end of last August.

The Australian applied for asylum in Ecuador to avoid being extradited to Sweden, where the authorities have laid claim to him over accusations of sexual assault, which he denies.

Assange fears that this would be a step towards extraditing him to the United States, where he would be tried for espionage or sentenced to death for publishing thousands of secret diplomatic cables on his website.

Translation mine. Linkage to Craig Murray’s blog added.

Incidentally, Craig Murray says it’s the UK’s coalition government that is the main reason why the US hasn’t extradited Julian Assange from London yet. They are too divided amongst themselves to arrive at a consensus regarding Assange. An interesting theory, but it can’t be the only reason; I suspect that the real problem is not so much getting the UK government to hand over the pesky Aussie (I’m sure they’d be only too glad to get him out of their hair!), but rather the need to prove that the US have a claim to him. That means having to prove that he actually committed espionage on someone else’s behalf. A tall order, since there is not a shred of evidence that he was working for any foreign government or terror group. And the Swedes have already made it clear that they don’t want him, either. They don’t even want to question him; they already have, and they let him go! They are, however, less divided and more docile than the UK government, and so more likely to hand him over to the US even without demonstration of probable cause. (Those rape charges? Might as well have gone poof. We’ll never see him prosecuted on those, bet on it.)

Meanwhile, under Correa, Ecuador has enjoyed previously unheard-of political stability and economic progress, and even is making some encouraging noises on the environmental front. Meaning, Big Oil, with its extensive CIA ties (and these go way back, right to the agency’s successful coup against Mossadegh in Iran, if not earlier) has a vested interest in seeing him toppled for their own benefit. Even if Julian Assange airing all their dirty laundry via Wikileaks weren’t an issue, Rafael Correa insisting that they pay fair prices for Ecuadorian oil (and cough up for the clean-up of all the rainforests they’ve fouled) would still be a major thorn in their collective side.

So yeah, Craig Murray’s analysis is right on the money insofar as his prediction that there will be a lot of dirty tricks on the opposition side of the electoral campaign. And the Ecuadorian private media, too; we already know from how they behaved during the coup attempt what bag those cats come out of. Expect a big hue and cry from the IAPOA about supposed interference with “press freedom”, and nary a word about how fascist, and beholden to foreign interests, that “free” press actually is.

And not a word about the press freedom of Wikileaks, either.

“Sam Bacile” — unmasked?

Egyptian protesters in Cairo, courtesy al-Ahram. I’m still trying to find a picture of the man they’re protesting against.

For the past two days, violent protests have been raging outside US embassies in Libya, Egypt, and most recently, Yemen. The alleged reason for the violence? An ugly, amateurish anti-Islamic propaganda film (in which the actors, to their disgust, participated without knowledge of what it was really about). The film’s producer gave his name as “Sam Bacile”, a pseudonym. It was said that he was an Israeli developer, and that he had raised the film’s production costs — some $5 million US — from a group of 100 Jewish sympathizers.

But the story didn’t add up. For one thing, the film is downright ham-fisted — poorly dubbed dialogue is just the most obvious of its shortcomings. Israeli hasbara is usually a lot more slickly packaged. Recall Omer Gershon, the Israeli actor who claimed to have “uncovered” some latent homophobia in the Gaza freedom flotilla, posing as “Marc”, a concerned gay guy who’d tried to get in and been rejected because of his sexual orientation. His “homemade” YouTube video showed an awful lot of slick production values — the thumbprint of Israeli government financing. (The Israeli Government Press Office even made sure his video went viral.) That was not in evidence here.

And “Bacile”, according to those who saw him on the set, didn’t speak Hebrew, he spoke Arabic. And apparently with an Egyptian accent. In other words, he was not an Israeli, and probably not even a Jew.

And now, it appears, he has been found, although he’s still denying it was him:

Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, 55, told The Associated Press in an interview outside Los Angeles that he helped with logistics for the filming of “Innocence of Muslims,” which mocked Muslims and the prophet Muhammad and may have caused inflamed mobs that attacked U.S. missions in Egypt and Libya. He provided the first details about a shadowy production group behind the film.

Nakoula denied he directed the film and said he knew the self-described filmmaker, Sam Bacile. But the cell phone number that AP contacted Tuesday to reach the filmmaker who identified himself as Sam Bacile traced to the same address near Los Angeles where AP found Nakoula. Federal court papers said Nakoula’s aliases included Nicola Bacily, Erwin Salameh and others.

Nakoula told the AP that he was a Coptic Christian and said the film’s director supported the concerns of Christian Copts about their treatment by Muslims.

Nakoula denied he had posed as Bacile. During a conversation outside his home, he offered his driver’s license to show his identity but kept his thumb over his middle name, Basseley. Records checks by the AP subsequently found it and other connections to the Bacile persona.

Bacile…Bacily…Basseley. A whole slew of aliases…strange for a guy “only involved in logistics”! And he went to the trouble of hiding that middle name. If it’s NOT him, I’ll eat my entire collection of hats.

What’s really shameful about all this is that the protests began in Cairo, where the Arab Spring also kicked off two years ago. And in Tahrir Square, the Coptic Christians shielded the Muslim protesters while they prayed; the Muslims returned the favor, forming human shields around Coptic churches so the Egyptian Christians wouldn’t be dragged away by Mubarak’s security forces while they were at their most vulnerable. That a Copt would try to stir up anti-Muslim feeling after all that is beyond disgusting; it is VILE. And it is a betrayal of the Egyptian Revolution. The religious fanatics who have made hay from this ugly propaganda film deserve the harshest of justice.

And while I wouldn’t put it past the Israeli government to try to destabilize all the surrounding Arab and North African régimes that recently underwent revolutions for the sake of their own “safety” (under the assumption that if they’re too busy fighting amongst themselves, the Arab League will not unite on the matter of Gaza), this is also a cynical move to exploit antisemitism, as the “hundred Jews” rumor makes clear. Also vile and disgusting, considering how many Jews in and outside of Israel support freedom, justice and human rights for Palestinians, as well as those in the Arab Spring. To keep them from uniting with Arabs (Christian and Muslim both) on this matter is also sickening.

Of course, it’s not hard to see why someone would try to stop all this unity and co-operation in its tracks. Progressive forces, led by the common people, are a threat to big business and tyrannical régimes alike. And those who would do big business by allying themselves to tyrants in the Middle East are only too happy to profit off the instabilities over there. Just look at the suddenly astronomical price of gasoline lately, and it will tell you all you need to know.

“Sam Bacile”, whoever he may turn out to be, is just one dirty chunk off a very large iceberg.

ETA, 4:30 pm: It’s now confirmed. Nakoula IS “Bacile”.

Also, here’s the funniest thing from my Facebook feed today:

Clip ‘n’ Save: A handy-dandy map of Alberta

Harpo go home! (and smarten the fuck up already)

First, a little music to set the mood:

Ah, that was lovely. Now, the story:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his wife Laureen were awakened by a major earthquake as they overnighted in Chile’s capital of Santiago.

Buildings shook throughout the city at around 12:50 a.m. local time in what the United State Geological Study rated as a 6.5 earthquake centred 112 kilometres from the city.

Harper’s director of communications, Andrew MacDougall, said the prime minister and his wife remained in their rooms and were fine.

Still, the event shook up the media and delegation travelling with Harper who were wrapping up a four-day trip to Colombia and South America.

It shook up the media, but no word on what it did to ShitHead. Probably nothing. Maybe because he’s a robot?

Meawhile, on a related note, we have this:

Two separate studies are providing insights into the earth-shaking consequences of the controversial gas extraction process known as fracking.

Both studies confirm that hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, can trigger manmade earthquakes when water, sand and chemicals are blasted deep into the ground to fracture rock to obtain oil and natural gas.

Energy companies are increasingly using the technique across Canada, including in B.C. where there is already regular seismic activity and an ever looming threat of various sized tremors.

The U.S. Geological Survey is set to release its findings Wednesday that a “remarkable” increase of quakes in the U.S. midcontinent since 2001 is “almost certainly” the result of oil and gas production.

And also, disgustingly, this:

The federal government will limit the ability of environmental groups to intervene in reviews of major resource projects, as it moves to speed up approvals for pipelines and other resource projects.

Natural Resources Minister Joe Oliver said Tuesday that Ottawa will soon table legislation that will reduce the number of projects that undergo federal environmental assessment by exempting smaller developments completely and by handing over many large ones to the provinces.

Mr. Oliver said the government will also bring in new measures to prevent project opponents from delaying the assessment process by flooding hearings with individuals who wish to speak against the development.

The Conservative government was dismayed when the National Energy Board extended its hearings on the proposed Northern Gateway pipeline, which would carry oil-sands bitumen to the British Columbia coast for export to Asia by super-tanker. The regulator was responding to requests from more than 4,000 individuals to give oral testimony at hearings now under way.

After railing for months against radical environmentalists bent on blocking resource development, the Natural Resources Minister signaled Tuesday the government will cut them out of the assessment process unless they can prove they would be directly affected by the project.

Hmmmmm. You don’t suppose FRACKING projects could be among those, do you?

And if an earthquake in the Andean nation of Chile can’t shake Harpo’s complacency about THAT, nothing can. And that should worry us all.

Never Cry Wolf (just throw strychnine)

This…is unbefuckinglievable. This is the sort of shit that would have been done 50 years ago. It’s also the sort of shit Canada isn’t supposed to be doing anymore. And yet, this is happening right now, and for the worst of all conceivable reasons:

Late last week, internal documents went public showing Canada is fretting over its sullied reputation for unfettered fossil fuel development, while resorting to poisoning wolves rather than fixing the problem. NWF released a paper today showing tar sands, oil and gas development in Canada is contributing to the decline in caribou herds. Rather than improve environmental practices to protect and restore caribou habitat, Canadian wildlife officials are poisoning wolves with strychnine-laced bait. The news comes as Alberta and Canadian officials scramble to address environmental monitoring failures that are wreaking havoc up north.

The highly controversial Keystone XL pipeline proposal would move this Canadian dirty oil through the heartland of the U.S. to export, making the U.S. complicit in causing excruciating wildlife culling.

Strychnine progresses painfully from muscle spasms to convulsions to suffocation over a period of hours. The NWF paper says the poison will also put at risk animals like raptors, wolverines and cougars that eat the poisoned bait or scavenge on the carcasses of poisoned wildlife.

Great. So we’re now just poisoning all carnivores and scavengers indiscriminately. And this is for what? So that tar-sands development can go ahead unimpeded. And so a bunch of Harpo’s cronies down in Texas can get their damn dirty oil.

But what bugs me most is the stinking hypocrisy of it all. It’s not like the Harper Government™ seriously gives a rat’s ass for caribou. Unless, of course, that rat’s ass is loaded with nasty poison that does nasty things, and is actually banned in its liquid form for that very reason:

Strychnine is an extremely toxic alkoloid that results in muscular convulsions and eventually leads to death through asphyxia or exhaustion.

Strychnine was banned by the Canadian Federal Government in 1993 due to the devastating effects it had on non-target animals. Gophers were not the only animals to ingest the substance; birds, waterfowl, foxes, rabbits, and even dogs and cats suffered the horrible fate of being poisoned by Strychnine. Gophers that were killed by the poison were often consumed by predators such as raptors, coyotes, and foxes, poisoning them as well.

Of course, it’s easier in the short term to strychnine a bunch of critters (be it ground squirrels, wolves or what have you) than it is to develop long-term strategies for safe, successful coexistence. And those in charge of the tar sands aren’t thinking in the long term at all, except maybe how to maximize their profits until the dirty oil runs out, while maintaining that squeaky-clean image they don’t deserve. Meaning, the animals are the ones that will bear the brunt of their short-sightedness, and their selfishness.

We’re always blaming the wolf. It’s an easy scapegoat, thanks to its fearsome nature, which we like to forget is the genetic basis for every domestic dog that ever lived. So of course, to blame it for the decline of the caribou — a decline for which we humans are in fact the real culprit — is nothing new. We went through all this 50 years ago!

I can only imagine what Farley Mowat would say.

I don’t think this will cure my cold.

Yes, kiddies, your auntie Bina is still under the weather. But since laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, let’s take the Rick Mercer cure, shall we?

Oof. Just made myself cough. Guess I’m not cured after all! But it does make me feel better to know that Peter Fucking Kent and Ezra Fucking Levant are getting what’s coming to them. And there’s no better man than Rick to give it to ‘em…GOOD.

(Video, h/t The Regina Mom.)

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Chavecito’s back, beeyotches!

And here he is, proving that his health is fully recovered from last year’s nasty cancer scare:

…and that he’s fit and ready for his re-election campaign. He looks and sounds it, all right. Nice to see he’s regained the weight he lost during treatment. He’s his usual burly self, not painfully thin, the way Jack Layton was at his last sad press conference. That alone is a good sign. So’s the fact that ExxtortionMobil has essentially lost its court case against him. (And, bonus: His hair’s finally coming back, too!)

Yeah, so much for those who said he was fixin’ to die, and that we’d see the end of him this year. Ha — Chavecito’s not going anywhere, beeyotches! You’re gonna have to dream up some other way to get rid of him, since he’s shaping up to win handily with at least 60% of the vote.

Or, in other words: Neener, neener, nee-ner!

Keystone XL: Dirty oil barons threaten Obama

The clearest, most concise explanation yet of why the Keystone XL pipeline project, which would ferry dirty tar-sands oil from Alberta to Texas, must not proceed. Yes, all this talk of “ending our dependence on foreign oil” is a LIE. Shocking? Wait, it gets worse. The pipeline would also threaten a geologically unstable area that happens to sit over the US’s biggest aquifer (also one of the largest in the world), and make the water undrinkable for about 23 million US citizens. AND, on top of everything else, it’s a job killer…and would make gasoline more expensive, not less so, for those still unfortunate enough to be driving locally made gas-guzzlers. Because the US is still a net petroleum IMPORTER, and most of that imported oil comes From Canada and the Middle East. And because the oil from that pipeline, from Canada, would not be going to serve US needs, but would be converted into gasoline for the lucrative export market. (I had to laugh at the part about shipping it to South America. They have more than enough of their own in Ecuador, Venezuela, Argentina, Chile…and now, Brazil. All South American countries would be more than adequately served from South American oil, refined and supplied by state-run industries! What would they need Texas-shipped gasoline for? Even Mexico and Cuba have plenty for their own needs, and won’t have to rely on the US for that. And Cuba will have help from Venezuela in developing and refining its own offshore oil, so US corporations will be out in the cold there.)

Yes, folks, this is the “ethical” oil that Ezra Fucking Levant is shilling his putzy ass off for. Seems so very ethical now, doesn’t it?

Wait, it gets worse. Let’s go back to the oil-baron threat again. You think it’s nothing serious? It got one previous US president assassinated for daring to oppose the barons. And his vice-president and successor, who happened to be from Texas, and very much in the pockets of the oil barons himself, was a key suspect in his murder:

Pay special attention to the part about Clint Murchison Sr., the oil king with connections to LBJ, J. Edgar Hoover, and other shadowy figures of the Kennedy assassination. He was so intimate with them that they partied, and plotted JFK’s demise, at his Texas mansion. Was this where the order went out to kill Kennedy? Quite likely. Between them, the CIA, the Mafia, and the anti-Castro ex-Cubans, it was a perfect storm of colluding, and corrupting, interests!

And let’s not forget, Obama’s predecessor is a Connecticut Yankee from Texas. And yes, Dubya is himself deep in Big Oil’s pockets…STILL. As a wannabe oil baron himself, he was a bust, but as their patsy, he made out like a bandit both as governor and later, as a two-term unelected president.

Anyone who thinks Big Oil has clean hands, and isn’t above assassinating non-compliant leaders, really should watch The Men Who Killed Kennedy in its nine-episode entirety…and bear in mind that very little has changed in US politics since then. It will certainly put the enormous pressures on Obama in a powerful new light. And it will make clear why it is imperative for common citizens to oppose Big Oil and its inordinate influence on the politics of all North America. It is not an exaggeration to say that our entire democratic system is in grave danger from it.