Category Archives: Wankers of the Week

Wankers of the Week: Donnie’s Boy Scout Jamboree

Crappy weekend, everyone! And an especially crappy one to all the Boy Scouts in Donnie’s paid-off cheering section at the jamboree. That’s going to come back to haunt you guys when you grow up. And here’s who else was worse … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Dr. Who is a WHAT?

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to all the dudes who claim their childhoods — which are all behind them now — have been taken from them by a female Time Lord, also named Dr. Who, just like … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: The Friends of Jayden K. Smith

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a très crappy Bastille Day to all my French readers. Désolée que vous avez eu l’ennui de voir le Drumpf sur votre sol. It must have been even more annoying than the Facebook hoax that took … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Donnie’s Wrestlemania

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one, as usual, to Donnie Drumpf, who retweeted a shitty meme and got its creator in some well-deserved hot water. Sic semper imbecilis, motherfucker. And here’s who else is in the soup this … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Donnie’s bloody facelift

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy Canada Day to my home and native land. And an especially crappy one to Donnie, who’s just bleeding out his ears and his eyes and his wherever from that bad facelift he had. … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: The stupid season begins

Crappy weekend, everyone! And an especially crappy one to Donnie, whose growing legal woes are going to be even more painful to watch than his ass in tennis shorts. Know what isn’t painful, but ought to be? Teh Stoopid. And … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: The Great Witch Hunt of ’17

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to Crooked Donnie, who’s looking more hunted by the minute. And he is, but not for witchcraft. No, it’s obstruction of justice they’re on him for, and that’s probably what will do … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Bring me the head of Don the Bastard!

Crappy weekend, everyone! And how about them Comey hearings? If this doesn’t put the nails in Donnie’s coffin, I don’t know what will. And look who else is getting nailed this week…in no particular order: 1. Phil Fucking Stair. No, … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Covfefe!

Crappy weekend, everyone! Here, have a nice big cup of covfefe. Yes, it’s lukewarm and mucky, and full of floating black gritty things. But trust me and drink up. You’re gonna need it to get through this week’s wankers. And … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: The Curtsy, the Swat, and the Handshake from Hell

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to dear ol’ Donnie, whose impeachment inches ever closer, and who shuffles with Ridicule ever nipping at his heels. And this week, it got so many bites in, from the fact that … Continue reading

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