Category Archives: Wankers of the Week

Wankers of the Week: Elbowgate (#ThankYouStephenHarper)

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, how about that Elbowgate mini-scandal? People are still talking about it, if you can believe that. And none of them have an intelligent word to say, unless it’s what my friend Pale here says: You’re all … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Yellowstone Dorks

Crappy weekend, everyone! And RIP, adorable baby bison, who really didn’t need to warm up inside some fool tourist’s car. Well, now they know not to interfere with nature. And now you know, too. And what else do you need … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Boogity boogity boo!

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy Friday the 13th to one and all. So, what’s lurking in your bushes? Nothing to be scared of, unless it’s one of these losers…in which case, be afraid, be VERY afraid, because here … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Der Drumpf’s Taco Bowl of Shame

Crappy weekend, everyone! That roiling in your gut? Must be all the undigested (and indigestible) news you’ve swallowed this week. The junk-food peddlers of politics and media have been working overtime to bring the crud de la crud straight from … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Bathroom Bandits, part D’oh

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to all you bathroom bigots out there. You’re not the only game in town, but you sure are a fixture in here. Sort of like a very dirty, broken toilet. And here’s … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Never forget 7-11!

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy Earth Day to all. This week’s wankapedia is dedicated to all victims of 7-11, whoever they may be. No doubt they’re all gathered around the Great Slurpee Machine in the Sky. Meanwhile, here … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Bathroom Bandits

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy weekend to all the states currently with, or mulling, anti-LGBT laws on their books. I hope you enjoy being boycotted, and I hope you lose pots of money, you losers. And speaking of … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Panama Poopers

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, how about them Panama Papers? The fun’s just begun, and already my head is swimming. Yours too? Well, give it a shake, because there will be miles to go — and reams of data to sort … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Rob Ford Memorial Edition

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, how about that Rob Fucking Ford? They say you’re not supposed to say anything but good of the dead, so here goes: He’s dead? GOOD! Ahem. He’ll be kinda-sorta missed around here, since he was such … Continue reading

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Wankers of the Week: Bad Friday

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy Easter weekend to all who observe it. Know what else I’m observing? Yes, that’s right: Wankers in the wild! And here they are, in no particular order: 1. Marine Fucking Le Pen. All … Continue reading

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