Headline Howler: A big fail from the Daily Mail

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a Headline Howler (so many to choose from, LE SIGH), but today, I saw this future classic on Remi Kanazi’s Facebook page:

timid-gardener

Dear Daily Fail:

I am a timid gardener. I am introverted, prefer solitude over bad company, am sometimes socially awkward, and have often been called shy. I have experienced what you might call “mental turmoil”. I’ve even coped with major clinical depression and survived it, unmedicated and without psychiatric care. I’ve come perilously close to suicide. When I was at my sickest, I could not trust myself near a railroad track, because the sight of a passing freight drew me toward it like a huge and nauseating magnet. Once, on a trip with a boyfriend to Niagara Falls, I strongly considered jumping off a bridge with a seventy-metre drop into the drainage canal below. (Yes, I measured it…by timing a stone’s fall and calculating the distance based on that.) I have done many things that terrified me at the time, and later caused me to look back and cringe with mortification to think I was ever that ill.

But never, under any circumstances, have I done anything nearly as heinous as what Tommy Mair did. Which is to take out memberships for years in more than one neo-Nazi and/or white supremacist organization, buy tons of neo-fascist literature and Nazi memorabilia, including instructions on how to build bombs and homemade pistols (no doubt to thwart those strict British gun laws), and turn into a “lone-wolf” terrorist — just by sheer coincidence, I’m sure — on the day after this photo was taken:

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That’s Mair’s victim, Jo Cox (holding the flag), and her husband and kids, campaigning on the “In” side of the “Brexit” question. They and other members of their flotilla were on the Thames, outside the Parliament building, in a showdown with the “Out” side.

This is why Jo Cox was killed, and not some random stranger on the street. This was no coincidence. This was no case of a simple deranged man killing the first person who looked at him sideways. This is why Mair was heard to shout “Britain First” repeatedly as he attacked and killed her. She was on the opposite side to him, politically. He picked her to stalk and kill because she was not only for keeping the UK in the EU, but also a prominent advocate for Syrian refugees. Her death was meant to send a message.

This was a targeted, political assassination. This murder was meant to intimidate and terrorize the “In” side.

If you cannot tell the difference between an actual timid gardener with mental problems, and a calculating terrorist assassin with years of membership in numerous hate groups, you may as well stop your presses for good. You can’t do journalism for shit.

Oh, and whoever wrote your idiotic headline should go sit on a barrel cactus.

Love,

Bina, the Timid Gardener.

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Wankers of the Week: Pride under fire

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Crappy weekend, everyone! And how about that latest fucking massacre. I don’t know what to say, beyond Hey! At least now we know for certain that LGBT people in the bathroom will never be even a fractal fraction of the menace to society that a ‘phobe with a gun is. About the gunman, I have nothing to say except that he’s dead, and no one will miss the motherfucker. As for these people, well…here’s what I have to say about THEM:

1. Tucker Fucking Carlson. The bodies from the Orlando nightclub shooting weren’t even at room temperature, much less removed from the building, before Fucker just had to open his big stinkin’ bazoo and blame it all on Obama and Islam. Never mind that the shooter’s own father and ex-wife both said it had nothing to do with religion. Times like these really make me want to bind and gag Fucker with his own bowties.

2. Newt Fucking Gingrich. Same link, same shit, different asshole. At long last, shut the fuck up, Newty. You are politically irrelevant, and you literally have nothing to contribute to the discourse. Go home and boink your third wife…or her future replacement. Nobody fucking cares about you anymore.

3. Chuck Fucking Todd. While #s 1 and 2 are busy blaming Obama for “depoliticizing” the massacre with “political correctness” (huh? how does one “depoliticize” AND be “politically correct” at the same time???), Chucky the Troll Doll decided to take the opposite tack, slamming Bernie Sanders for daring to suggest that now was a good time to finally talk earnestly about gun control. Oh sorry…I meant to say “politicize the issue”.

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4. Rick Fucking Scott. Oh, that’s nice. “Pray for the victims”, but never acknowledge that they were shot just for being LGBT. One wonders just what kind of phony, hypocritical praying the Gubnor really has in mind. PS: Even nicer, how about fixating on Daesh, even though there is NO FUCKING LINK between Omar Mateen and them, and even the CIA has admitted as much? But then again, Rick is the ultimate Florida Man. He loves guns more than he does the truth.

5. Donald Fucking Drumpf. Way to make a mass shooting all about you, asshole. And way to make it all about something else it’s not: namely, so-called “radical Islam”. Refer back to #1 if you don’t believe me. PS: And no, nobody is going to vote for you because of this, except those teabagging Nazis who were already going to. You can quit rubbing that boner now. PPS: And quit trying to make out like you’re the biggest friend the queers ever had. None of them are fooled, except maybe for #8.

6. Dan Fucking Patrick. God can’t be mocked? That’s funny, there are at least two Twitter accounts dedicated to just that. And yours, unlike theirs, isn’t funny, topical, inspiring, or relevant. Maybe you should save your sermonizing for church, instead of inserting it where it doesn’t belong — scheduled or not.

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7. Carlos Fucking Curbelo. Take off the fucking tinfoil, dude. This is YOUR circus, and Der Drumpf is YOUR monkey.

8. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. “No more Islam”? Fuck that. How about no more of YOU, you fucking wankstain? I mean, seriously, you’re a classic example what one of my gay friends calls an Unhappy Cocksucker. Who the hell are YOU to suddenly project your pathetic, drunken self-hatred outward? Fuck that noise, and fuck YOU.

9. Pamela Fucking Geller. And speaking of noises in dire need of a fuck, how about her? Facebook FINALLY got around to removing her hate-page on a TOS violation, and what does she do? Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch. And blame it on Sharia, which is a downright funny bit of projection on her part, since she’s the one advocating genocide on religious grounds. Cry louder, troll.

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10. Bob Fucking Zimmer. Make the AR-15, the murder weapon from the nightclub shooting, easier to get in Canada? Oh HELL no. FUCK RIGHT OFF, you motherfucking piece of shit. It’s not a fucking hunting rifle, unless you’re hunting humans. What are you, a cannibal? A ghoul? Or just a garden-variety idiot in the pocket of the firearms industry?

11. Steven Fucking Anderson. At this point, I’m counting down the days before he’s either caught with his profile on a gay dating app, or with kiddie porn (mostly boys) on his home computer. Because that much obsession with gays and pedophiles can only mean one thing: He is trying desperately to cover his own ass. And considering what we now know about Omar Mateen, is it really so unreasonable to speculate that he’s got some innnnnteresting skeletons in his own closet?

12. Andy Fucking Holt. Wow. Do you want to go join #10 in the corner, there, dumbass? Very well. Take your seat on that hard stool, face the wall, and put on the pointy hat.

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13. Sebastian Fucking Gorka. Nice try at deflection, Tinfoil Turban, but terrorists are NOT using F-150 trucks to murder people. The reason why is obvious: Trucks and cars are WAY more regulated in the US than guns are!

14. Jim Fucking Hoft. Dear Dumbest Man on the Internet: Congrats on finally coming out. Took you long enough! Unfortunately, you’re still a fucking dumbass fascist whose voting (and blogging) habits are all about throwing your own people under the bus. Don’t look for sympathy, don’t babble about the evils of socialism, and don’t you DARE go shilling for the Party of Bigotry. Any LGBT Republican, at this stage in the game, is an LGBT person with a death wish.

15. Yosef Fucking Edery. Hooray! It’s not just fundie Christians cheerleading the murder of innocent people. Looks like some ultra-orthodox Jews also want to get in on the hate-fest. And this one literally takes the bagel. Oy, oy, OY to the VEY.

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16. Brett Fucking Edgerton. Meanwhile, in Atlanta — a city that, decades ago, rose on the slogan “Too Busy to Hate” — some self-loathing queer dude has finally found the time to hate…on his own. And to threaten two local gay nightspots with Orlando-style terror. Congrats, you neoconfederate asshole.

17. Roger Fucking Jimenez. And in Sacramento, we find this most un-Californian preacher, railing like he’s in some backwater swamp in, I dunno, Alabama or someplace. And just like the toothless yokels of the bogs, he can’t tell the difference between an LGBT adult who loves other adults, and a kiddie-diddler. How long, I wonder, before his profile is found on Grindr, or his home computer is confiscated by the FBI for kiddie porn? PS: AND he doubles down. Now I really wonder what the skeleton in his closet is! PPS: Ha, ha.

18. John Fucking Bolton. Oh, heaven forfend that His Barackness snark ever so gently on political opponents who expect him to bash the same bogeymen that they all bash! The Sheepdog, as you may recall, was appointed nasty, snarky, homicidally deranged US ambassador to the UN by Dubya…who was himself about as nasty and snarky as they came, at least until Der Drumpf eclipsed him in that department. And yet, somehow, neither of THEM is unpresidential? Go figure.

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19. Dick Fucking DeVos. All these years he’s pumped money into anti-LGBT groups, and now, after all these years of setting the stage for their demise, he’s giving to the Pulse victims? Talk about hypocrisy…AND adding insult to injury.

20. Chris Fucking Barron. You really do have to be a special kind of stupid to be gay and pro-Drumpf. And whaddya know, he’s that very special snowflake. But, dude: Why throw gay people under the bus when you can just throw yourself?

21. Marco Fucking Rubio. First he was leaving the senate and now he’s maybe not? And all because of the Pulse shooting, which is not his concern anyway? Let me make up your mind for you, Estupido: You should go, and never darken that door again. And take Ileana Fucking Ros-Lehtinen with you, while you’re at it.

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22. Conrad Fucking Black. Well, well, well, what have we here? Tax liens on Lord Blah-Blah’s estates, due to unpaid bills with the CRA? Why, at this rate he’ll have nothing left to sue newspapers with for accurately reporting his many fuck-ups!

23. Pam Fucking Bondi. Oh boo fucking hoo, Anderson Cooper nailed your shit to the wall for all to see! Cry more, you institutional homophobe.

24. Ted Fucking Cruz. And speaking of shit on the wall, look who besplattered himself all over it. You can join #21 when he leaves…assuming the voters don’t drag you out by your sorry ass first.

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25. Andrew Fucking Anglin. So, the dumbest neo-Nazi on the Internet (and Lord knows he’s got plenty of competition there) thinks that Orlando “secured the election for Trump”? Hardly. If anything, it’s been backfiring on him ever since he tried to use it as yet another feather to stroke his shrimp dick with. And his numbers are in the shitter even now, and circling the drain. Surely a malign coincidence that people have been hitting back at him for his bigotry ever since Orlando, eh?

26. Bibi Fucking Netanyahu. Meanwhile, speaking of what’s in the shitter and circling the drain, how about Bibi? He thinks Palestinians are all rapey, while ignoring the markedly worse tendencies of the IDF. Even worse, he’s quick to throw all rape victims under the bus. Talk about chutzpah.

27. Jessa Fucking Duggar. On behalf of the whole world, please sink back into the obscurity from whence you came, and don’t you DARE use Orlando to promote yourself or your shitty show. And especially not the extremist religious cult you’re in. Fuck off, and take your whole quiver (full or not!) with you.

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28. Nigel Fucking Farage. While Jo Cox’s body lies in the morgue before being readied for burial, we have THIS wanker, who no doubt disclaims all responsibility for what Tommy Mair did to Jo Cox. When, in fact, his crapaganda and that of others just like him (read: white supremacists, nativists and neo-Nazis) made Mair think it was his duty to do away with the infidels…or at least, the uppity female MP who championed their rights. And no, I don’t think the resemblance to Nazi crapaganda is any “accident”, nor is it a coincidence. The parallel is deliberate. Wake up, not-so-great Britain.

29. Joseph Fucking Backholm. A campaign to convince people that transfolk are evil molesters out to diddle their daughters? And you’re going to gather signatures for it by making men follow women into bathrooms? Yeah, no, that’s not creepy at all. And it won’t backfire one bit!

30. Rick Fucking Allen. Quoting an ancient book of lies and mythology to back up your homophobia is a wank. Having “no regrets” about doing something so goddamned stupid and unforgivably hateful is an even bigger wank. And it makes you an enabler of mass murder, shithead.

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And finally, to Britain Fucking First. Yeah, how’s it feel to have one man tarnishing your whole image? Only there’s a problem with that contention: You have all always been fascists. You were all tarnished long before someone took it on himself to murder an MP that you no doubt branded a “traitor”. At long last, have you no fucking shame?

Good night, and get fucked!

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A “loner”? Hardly.

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Tommy Mair…not alone, unfortunately.

As much as the media and the right might be trying to spin Jo Cox’s assassin as a “loner”, a different portrait of the pro-EU British MP’s killer is already emerging. And it shows that while his ties to Britain First (whose name he allegedly shouted, repeatedly, while attacking and murdering Cox) are still being strenuously denied by the organization, his ties to other right-wing, fascistic and white-supremacist/nativist organizations are many…and damning.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Centre, Tommy Mair has been a member of the National Alliance, a neo-Nazi organization:

According to records obtained by the Southern Poverty Law Center Mair was a dedicated supporter of the National Alliance (NA), the once premier neo-Nazi organization in the United States, for decades. Mair purchased a manual from the NA in 1999 that included instructions on how to build a pistol.

Mair, who resides in what is described as a semi-detached house on the Fieldhead Estate in Birstall, sent just over $620 to the NA, according to invoices for goods purchased from National Vanguard Books, the NA’s printing imprint. Mair purchased subscriptions for periodicals published by the imprint and he bought works that instruct readers on the “Chemistry of Powder & Explosives,” “Incendiaries,” and a work called “Improvised Munitions Handbook.” Under “Section III, No. 9” (page 125) of that handbook, there are detailed instructions for constructing a “Pipe Pistol For .38 Caliber Ammunition” from components that can be purchased from nearly any hardware store.

The NA may be best-known for the work of its now-deceased founder, William Pierce, a former physics professor who also wrote racist novels. One, The Turner Diaries, tells the post-apocalyptic fictional story of a white man fighting in a race war that may have provided inspiration for Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh.

Neo-Nazi ties — and terrorist how-tos stemming from them? Yup. Witnesses say Mair was wielding a “homemade or antique” pistol. My money’s on homemade, since he specifically bought instructions on how to build one. This is damning not just for him, but for this neo-Nazi group he’s tied to, because it makes it explicit that “lone wolf” terrorism is very much on their collective agenda.

And that’s not all. According to the UK Independent, he was also tied to a South African far-right group:

The link between Mair and the Springbok Club goes back ten years when its online magazine, the Springbok Cyber Newsletter, was inquiring about the whereabouts of “Thomas Mair, from Batley in Yorkshire [who] was one of the earliest subscribers and supporters of “S.A. Patriot” who has moved from his address in the Fieldhead Estate district of the town.”

The leading article for June 2016 Springbok Cyber Newsletter, which describes itself on its website as being pro-free market capitalism and patriotism and anti-political correctness, was, however, devoted to Britain and the referendum. It started: “On Thursday, 23rd June 2016 all British voters will have the opportunity to vote on the future of their country. They can vote either to remain entrapped in the artificial and retrograde European Union, or to regain their sovereign independence….”

The article ends by declaring: “But we should not only be concentrating at the negative aspects of remaining in the EU. Our campaign should be primarily positive and optimistic for a future outside the EU. The motto of the Patriotic Forum (an umbrella grouping of patriotic organisations which the Springbok Club is part of) is “Out of Europe and into the World”. There is a golden future waiting for Britain out there once the country returns to its traditional vision of looking towards the Open Seas and its ethnic brothers and sisters in the Commonwealth around the globe. The days ahead will inspire us!”

“Britain First! Britain First!” Gee, he’s sounding less lone by the minute, eh?

But of course, the “he was mentally ill and a loner” narrative will still carry the day. Why?

Because Tommy Mair is white.

Because when white men go bad, everyone in the major media races to absolve them of all charges of terrorism, even when terrorism is obviously what they have committed.

And because the thought of actual, home-grown, white supremacist terrorists who commit hate crimes in the name of fascist agendas is still too terrifying for the media and the masses to face and confront as they should.

Because this is THE biggest terrorist threat the western world faces, and we are not being accurately informed of that fact by the people we trust to be our eyes and ears.

Shame on them for their silence. And shame on them for their complicity.

PS: There is a petition (unfortunately, only for Britons) to declare Britain First a terrorist organization. Sign if you can.

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Dear gunsuckers: You can all shut up now.

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And if the above graphic offends you, you might want to educate yourselves as to the real and only purpose for which the AR-15 was invented. Hint: It wasn’t for hunting OR for self-defence.

“Our father, Eugene Stoner, designed the AR-15 and subsequent M-16 as a military weapon to give our soldiers an advantage over the AK-47,” the Stoner family told NBC News late Wednesday. “He died long before any mass shootings occurred. But, we do think he would have been horrified and sickened as anyone, if not more by these events.”

The inventor’s surviving children and adult grandchildren spoke exclusively to NBC News by phone and email, commenting for the first time on their family’s uneasy legacy. They requested individual anonymity in order to speak freely about such a sensitive topic. They also stopped short of policy prescriptions or legal opinions.

But their comments add unprecedented context to their father’s creation, shedding new light on his intentions and adding firepower to the effort to ban weapons like the AR-15. The comments could also bolster a groundbreaking new lawsuit, which argues that the weapon is a tool of war — never intended for civilians.

Eugene Stoner would have agreed, his family said.

The ex-Marine and “avid sportsman, hunter and skeet shooter” never used his invention for sport. He also never kept it around the house for personal defense. In fact, he never even owned one.

And though he made millions from the design, his family said it was all from military sales.

“After many conversations with him, we feel his intent was that he designed it as a military rifle,” his family said, explaining that Stoner was “focused on making the most efficient and superior rifle possible for the military.”

And there you have it.

Are you listening, Bob Fucking Zimmer & Co.? Your proposed reclassification of the AR-15 is immoral, and frankly should never pass. No civilian, in Canada or anywhere, should have a legal right to own one, because there is nothing they could lawfully require one for. It was never conceived of as a hunting rifle, and no wonder; who wants to eat a venison roast that looks like Swiss cheese? Nor was it conceived as a defensive weapon; anyone who totes an AR-15 (or M-16, as the military rechristened it) to defend themselves looks like a fucking whackjob (and invariably is, meaning they REALLY shouldn’t have the right to own a gun).

No, the only thing this gun was ever meant to hunt was other humans. And if that’s what you really want to do, you can join the army:

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…which is, incidentally, just what the Second Amendment means by “a well-regulated militia”. Remember, it was written when the US was declaring independence from England, and didn’t actually have a full-fledged army yet. The Second gives the states the right to organize their own armies; it does not, however, grant that right to individuals, gangs, cults, or corporations.

We Canadians also have our own army, and so there is no need to fall back on the fallacious arguments made by the NRA and other idiots from south of the border.

And no, weekend warriors playing army in the woods don’t count. Neither do radicalized bands of religious whackjobs of any description. (Yes, even Christians, and especially Mormons. What did you think Cliven Bundy & Co. were?)

It’s time to call this gun what it really is: an assault rifle. And in the hands of anyone not in the uniform of a recognized military force, it’s a murder weapon. Or a weapon of terror, as its repeated use in massacres by various right-wing whackjobs has demonstrated all too well.

PS: Commenting is closed on this piece, because I have no desire to be bombarded with cyber-terrorist yokels trying to “educate” me. This article is for your information, not mine. I’m already perfectly well informed, thankyouverymuch.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Good to Know, Guns, Guns, Guns, If You REALLY Care, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Law-Law Land, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Pissing Jesus Off, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Dear gunsuckers: You can all shut up now.

A must-watch makeup tutorial

Aside from her impressive skills as a makeup artist, and her sense of humor (have you seen her “swimming on the first date” video? Or her Instagram contouring video? You will DIE laughing), Nikkie has a huge heart for the LGBT community. All ad revenues from this tutorial will go to the fund for the victims of the Pulse shooting. You can also contribute directly here.

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Quotable: Samantha Bee on the Orlando Massacre

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Sam…”

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The predictable outcome of “God, guns, and gays”

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Probably the most sickening thing about the whole Pulse nightclub shooting, for me, is how quickly the media seized on the ethnicity and alleged religion of the shooter, as though Omar Mateen — Afghan-American, ostensibly Muslim — were the product of a predictable combination of medieval Islam and centuries of various tribes jockeying for power in the wilds of Central Asia.

Wrong.

Omar Mateen was a product of American culture, not Afghan. He was born in New York, and held ambitions of joining the NYPD, if his selfies are any indication. He lived in Florida, a state where the so-called “Stand Your Ground” law, otherwise known as Castle Doctrine, applies. He worked for the infamous “security” firm, G4S. He may have been nominally a Muslim, but as both his father and ex-wife have noted, he was not very religious. Indeed, truly observant Muslims leaders are all condemning what he did. You can’t lay his violent rampage at the feet of Islam, the Taliban, or, as some irresponsible outlets are suggesting, Daesh (remember, Isis is an Egyptian Goddess, not a fanatical so-called Islamic terrorist cult trying to conquer Iraq and Syria).

So where CAN you lay blame for the man who killed 50 people at an LGBT nightclub in Orlando? Simple. You can lay it on the Christian, conservative right of the good ol’ United States of Amnesia.

After all, the Religious Reich, as I like to call them, really ARE to blame for pretty much every element of American social, legal, political, and moral failure that allows the likes of Omar Mateen to flourish. It’s they who vote for war-mongering politicians who export good ol’ All-American imperialism to oil-rich countries inhabited mainly by Muslims, only to express shock and horror when the same Muslims they championed as the answer to godless communism end up going rogue on them. They’re also the ones who vote against gun control, even when a majority of Americans want some form of it. Every time there’s a mass shooting, they’re quick to offer “thoughts and prayers” — and to shut down any talk of something that works better, namely an assault-weapons ban. They’re the ones who babble about “Second Amendment solutions”, thus emboldening toy armies of religious whackjobs to hijack public lands and trash bird sanctuaries. They’re the ones who, with their talk of “pre-born babies” and “baby parts”, not-so-tacitly support anti-choice terrorists who bomb and shoot up abortion clinics. They think the Jews are forever conspiring to take over the world with a bogeyman called “Cultural Marxism”. They think feminists are out to turn their daughters into lesbians, and their sons into girls. And they are the ones who preach, hypocritically, about “loving the sinner and hating the sin” when it comes to LGBT people, while also exporting influential pastors like Scott Lively to Uganda to push for “kill the queers” laws.

And when one man kills 50 people at a gay nightclub, there they are, waving pompoms and cheering, and temporarily overlooking all sectarian differences between them and himself, because hey — at least they can agree on who they all hate!

Of COURSE they are the ones who lay the groundwork that allows “deranged” shooters to flourish. Because all their voting habits hinge around “God, guns, and gays”, and these votes in turn put politicians in place who empower bullies while leaving vulnerable people ever more marginalized.

So, right-wing so-called Christians of the US of A, this is on you. “By their fruits shall ye know them,” as it says in that book you claim holds the answers to everything. Omar Mateen may not look it, but he’s one of yours. It doesn’t matter whether you claim responsibility for him or not. You are responsible for what he did.

Because you’re the ones who fucked your country over to the point where a reportedly bipolar man with a history of domestic violence could still get his hands on an assault rifle and a 9-mm pistol. And to the point where he considered himself to be doing something righteous by killing as many others with that gun as he could. You’re the ones who let angry ‘phobes believe that they’re under threat from the evil queers, and that they must “stand their ground” against them. You’re the ones who want oil for cheap and, for all your talk of holding human life dear, obviously some lives are more precious to you than others. You’re the ones who invited terrorism — not by leading “godless” lives, but by thinking your god was the one to rule them all. You exported war, genocide, and imperialism, then wondered why when the blowback came to hit you in the face. You claim they hate you for your “freedoms”, but you won’t face the fact that you live in one of the least-free countries on Earth. It is a country dominated by right-wing patriarchs and held hostage by its own home-grown terrorists. You have no one but yourselves to blame for Omar Mateen.

And if you don’t like what I just told you, don’t bother trying to lecture me. I’m sick of hearing it, and I know better than to believe it. Anyone who trolls this entry is gonna wind up in the spam dump. I don’t owe you a platform; you’ve already had too many. I’m not about to convert to your fascist religion, and I don’t care what imaginary devils or all-too-real violence you threaten me with. Do what you’re always telling OTHERS to do: Repent. Confess your sins. Mend your ways. And oh yeah, above all: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. Whether thy neighbor is a Muslim, LGBT, a woman, or whatever.

Only that way will you find salvation from all the violence plaguing your society. Go now, and sin no more.

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Posted in Barreling Right Along, BushCo Death Watch, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fetus Fetishists, Guns, Guns, Guns, Isn't It Ironic?, Law-Law Land, Pissing Jesus Off, Teh Ghey, The 'Stans, The United States of Amnesia, The War on Terra | 2 Comments

Music for a Sunday: Another day, another shooting…

Pardon me, people, I just need to get a few things off my chest:

Ahem. Carry on with your daily shoot-’em-ups.

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Quotable: Wanda Sykes on racism, “reverse racism”, and karma

wanda-sykes-on-karma

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Wankers of the Week: Swimming in a sea of rape culture

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Crappy weekend, everyone! If you’re wondering what all that literal crap floating around you is, it’s called rape culture, and we’re all soaking in it. Time to start fishing those gungy smelly lumps out of the water, eh? And this week, they are, in no particular order:

1. Dan Fucking Turner. Oh boo fucking hoo, Rapeyboy Son shouldn’t go to the Big House because it’ll affect his “happy-go-lucky” appetite! What about the victim? Because there’s a lot more that she’s lost already for the sake of Sonny’s “20 minutes of action”. And really: rape is “action”? I think the word you’re looking for there is CRIME! Yeah, we all wonder where Snookums got his rapey tendencies from, and guess what? It’s not from a bottle — it’s from the attitudes instilled by Dear Ol’ Dad! PS: Oh HELL no. Dude, you have money. Don’t pull a Drumpf. PPS: And that goes double for your wife. Lady, your precious kid is a competitive swimmer. He’s also a grown-ass man. He’s easily strong enough to drag an unconscious woman behind a dumpster, rip off her clothes, and hump her for nearly half an hour. Trust me, he’ll survive jail. Which is where he belongs, and not just for 3 measly months, either.

2. Leslie Fucking Rasmussen. And speaking of attitudes that are pure rape culture, get a load of hers. Yes, she’s a friend of Rapeyboy…STILL. Gee, isn’t it nice to know that of all the “happy-go-lucky” things he’s lost, at least he hasn’t lost the support of fucking idiots (some of them female!) who think that sending a white guy to jail for rape is merely “politically correct”? PS: “Good English”? Girl, you need to fucking LEARN SOME before you start to write about…well, anything actually, but rape especially. PPS: Ha, ha. Karma’s a bitch, eh?

3. Aaron Fucking Persky. Sign, sign, sign the petition, people. DOOOO EEEET. PS: This one too, please. PPS: And in case you need any further reasons to sign, how about a woman whose husband almost beat her to death? Or some dirty defence tactics that passed muster with Hizzoner?

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4. Scott Fucking Adams. Dude. Please. Stick to cartooning. I beg of you. (Not that you do even THAT especially well, but it’s a damn sight better than you do politics!)

5. Robert Fucking Morrow. Holy fucking shit, this is one helluva space cadet. And his tweeter…Ye Gods. Some of the people he slams on it are people I’ve slammed (repeatedly) here, and now he’s actually got me feeling sorry for them, because he is even a bigger wanker than all of them combined. (Quite literally.) And of course, he’s an Alex Fucking Jones fan, too. Because batshit tends to cluster, don’tcha know?

6. Chuck Fucking Woolery. And speaking of space cadets, apparently it’s a requirement to have been one before hosting Wheel of Fortune. If you thought Pat Fucking Sajak was dissociated, wait’ll you get a load of his predecessor!

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7. Frank Fucking Amedia. If this is who’s writing policy for Der Drumpf, be afraid. Be very afraid. And also, very nauseated. Because theocracy, ugh. Also, arghlbloo blah blib.

8. Tom Fucking Bagwell. If you ever wondered why nobody votes for Libertarians, take a look at this guy’s views of teacher-student rape…and wonder no more. When kids as young as 13 are presumed to be “mature enough to handle it”, never mind that “it” is the predatory libido of an adult who is supposed to be in loco parentis…well, you’re just off in another world, aren’t you?

9. Martin Fucking Daniel. Muhammad Ali didn’t “fail to enlist”, he openly conscientiously objected to being sent to kill and die in white men’s imperialistic wars. Here, let him school you in his own words:

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Does that look like a “failure” to YOU?

10. Axl Fucking Rose. Oh dear, someone hasn’t yet heard of the Streisand Effect. But he’s juuuuust about to, rest assured!

11. Andrew Fucking Anglin. Oh boo hoo, women aren’t voting for Nazis! Newsflash, idiot: Neither are men. And no, the end result of all this not-voting-Nazi will not be gang-rape. It will be a better civilization than these fucking InterNazis (who are no small gang-rape supporters and fantasists themselves) could ever come up with.

12. Jim Fucking Karygiannis. He broke Toronto city council rules, but no punishment has been forthcoming, even though everyone agrees he’s an asshole who couldn’t behave himself? Very well then, one public shaming coming right down!

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13. Bryan Fucking Fischer. I don’t believe in Satan. And I also don’t believe in sexual scare tactics. Fuck off with all that shit.

14. David Fucking Barton. People who criticize your shit don’t hate anyone or anything…except, maybe, rampant revisionist idiocy. Fuck off with that.

15. Michael Fucking Miller. Yes, let’s perpetuate the “poor promising all-American white boy with a ruined future” meme. Never mind that his future wouldn’t be ruined if HE hadn’t fucking ruined it by dragging an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and trying to rape her!

16. Paul Fucking Elam. Or whoever’s responsible for this shitpile on Facebook:

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Uh, Paulie? In case you hadn’t noticed, the entire Internet is abuzz with praise for those two brave young Swedes (whose parents, not being deadbeats like yourself, clearly raised them right, and who incidentally come from a land with much better sex-assault laws, too). Shame on you for trying to cover Rapeyboy and Rapeydad’s asses. Priorities, eh?

17. Scottie Nell Fucking Hughes. Oh gawd, HER again. And this time, she’s trying to spin Der Drumpf’s sexism as a desire to protect “unborn women’s rights”. Uh, dumbass? A fetus in utero is not a full-grown adult. A female fetus is not a woman. It doesn’t have rights to protect. You know who DOES have rights to protect? GROWN-ASS ADULT WOMEN. Some of whom WILL choose abortion, possibly because they might even NEED one. (Sorry ‘bout all the pointy italics, but there’s no other way of penetrating her dense head.)

18. Randy Fucking Zelin. And AGAIN with the “political correctness” bullshit. When even FUX Snooze’s professional sexists and newsbimbos aren’t having it, you know you need to find a new schtick.

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19. Bill O’Fucking Reilly. Yes, Billo wanked again. And this time, it was over the corpse of Muhammad Ali. There really is nothing he won’t stoop to, is there? PS: And speaking of racism, here’s Billo, claiming that Der Drumpf can’t be a racist because he’s not David Duke. No, of course not. He just has Duke’s endorsement! Big fucking difference!

20. Robert Fucking Bentley. Yes, the governor of Alabama wanked again, too. And this time, it was over all the contaminated water people in that state are being forced to drink…not thanks to his own shoddy policy-making or enforcement, but because of the EPA. Yes, really. He blames them for what is his own damn fault. Whatever happened to Personal Responsibility?

21. Jon Fucking Lopey. While the AP was busy crowning Hillary Clinton queen of the Dems, guess who was interfering with the citizens’ right to vote for Bernie? Yup. THIS guy. Who calls himself a “constitutional sheriff”. Where in the constitution does it say sheriffs get to meddle with voters’ rights? NOWHERE.

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22. Stephen Fucking Moore. Man-made climate change is “mere propaganda”? That’s like saying that sentencing a rapist to a proper time in jail is mere “political correctness”. FYI, the consensus on the matter was reached by scientists, not right-wing stink-tankers like you. And they pulled that data from actual observation, not from your anus.

23. Greg Fucking McCurdy. And speaking of things pulled from asses, how about this guy’s “battered Trump supporter” meme? Yeah, smooth move, using an Australian actress showing off her makeup job for a horror film and passing her off as a Yank for Drumpf who was beaten up by imaginary “fascists”. She’s not impressed, BTW.

24. Everett Fucking Corley. Sore loser says what? Tsk, tsk.

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25. Laura Fucking Ingraham. Why does this idiotic woman have a show, and who’s the bonehead that gave her one? And really…Hillary Clinton “lacks substance”? Granted, compared to Bernie Sanders as a progressive she does, but to Der Drumpf? Oh, PLEASE. And WTF is this “magic sauce” she’s prattling about, and why does she think Der Drumpf has it? It might be somewhat useful (maybe? I dunno) for crappy fast-food hamburgers, but this is the possible future POTUS we’re talking about here, not McDerpald’s. Come the fuck ON!

26. Donald Fucking Drumpf. I guess the fabled “magic sauce” must consist of an awful lot of unpaid bills, because that’s one thing he’s got for sure. Time to audit this mofo, and pull the plug on his run! PS: And on his idiot spokeswoman, too. No, Bernie supporters will NOT be voting for this moron instead of Clinton. They want the SMART candidate, remember?

27. Louie Fucking Gohmert. Uh, dumbass? Lots of those veterans committing suicide ARE transgender already. And part of the reason they don’t want to live is dumb fuckasses like you, who refuse to acknowledge that they deserve freedom, safety and decent healthcare, regardless of what’s in their pants.

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28. Ezra Fucking Levant. It’s a day ending in “day”, and just as he always does on such days, Ezzy the Putz is busy fighting for freedom of speech…by trying to slap censorship on anyone who speaks up against him. If you have a few bucks to spare, folks, please send them Canadian Cynic’s way, he could sure use the help.

29. David Fucking Perdue. A little late in the game, isn’t it, to be “praying” for an end to the Obama presidency? His final mandated term is up this year anyway. This is just petty spite and vengeful stupidity on the part of yet another whited sepulchre of the Religious Reich. You ain’t no king, David. PS: Sign, sign, SIGN!

30. James Fucking Dobson. If you’re really so keen on not selling your daughter into prostitution, dude, you might want to dispense with the marry-‘em-off-young purity culture, and just let other people’s transgender daughters go pee in the ladies’ room where they need to…and where not one trans woman has yet assaulted any other woman or girl.

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And finally, to the dick-smacking dickfaced dickheads of Daryush Fucking Valizadeh’s rapist forum. You are not the victims of anything except your own damn delusions. We see you, shitheads. And if I ever see one of you fuckers trying to take advantage of an incapacitated person, you won’t be able to count on my Nice Girl Training™ holding me back any longer. I’m OVER it, motherfuckers. Rape is unpardonable, and I’m past caring if any of you think I’m a bitch. ‘Fact, I’m past caring if you even live or die.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | 4 Comments