Wankers of the Week: The Fappening ain’t happening


Crappy weekend, everyone! So, I guess you all heard about The Fappening, where all the wankers of Reddit gathered for a circle-jerk over the stolen photos (and the violated privacy) of a number of famous young women. Sadly for those wankers, charities are refusing to act as an instant purge for their slimy consciences, or profit off the misfortune of a group of high-profile hacking victims. And now they’ve been banned from Reddit, too! Awww, too bad! Guess throwing money at good causes doesn’t make everything all right, after all. And here are some other wankers who also couldn’t buy their way out of a wet paper bag:

1. Cee Lo Fucking Green. Yeah, that’s right, Mr. Fuck You — it is SO rape, even if she can’t remember a bit of it. Because if you drugged her to make it so, and she woke up not knowing how she got naked and landed up in your bed, yup, that’s rape too. And no, not all real victims remember. Who the hell do you think you are to try to define rape, anyway — Todd Fucking Akin?

2. Stephen Fucking Harper. If you’re going to build stupid-ass monuments to the “victims of communism”, there are two other things you should also do: (a) NOT steal land that was designated toward a judicial building named for Pierre Trudeau, who understood human rights far better than you ever will, and (b) don’t forget the victims of capitalism (and its handmaiden, fascism) — they are FAR more numerous than those of communism.

3. Vincent Fucking Rue. No, hating abortion does not mean you love life. And hating it with a passion doesn’t make you an expert in it, either. Much less one to be consulted regarding abortion law, in which you are not an expert either.


4. John Fucking Rees. Freedom: clearly, a simple word. And a simple concept. And Florida Man — or in this case, Florida MAYOR — still doesn’t get it.

5. Rick Fucking Perry. Meanwhile, in Texas, Guvnor Crotch Goodhair has some ‘splainin’ to do. Don’t anyone hold your breath, though…he seems to prefer just sweeping the offending tweet under the rug.

6. John Fucking Lind. And because it wouldn’t be a wankapedia without at least one actual named and shamed bona-fide wanker, here you go. This one did it in the coffee of a coworker he had a crush on, hoping she would notice him. Yup, she did. And unfortunately for him, she noticed him with his hands at his crotch in front of her mug. And unfortunately for her, she also noticed that the coffee tasted…um…OFF.

7. Ricky Fucking Gervais. Proving, once more, that “free speech” is the last refuge of the obnoxious turd — bravo! Next time, instead of telling people to not be so easily offended, how’s about you just NOT GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO FUCKING OFFEND THEM? It’s hardly difficult to grasp that. Oh yeah, and that “collateral damage” bit? That’s an insult to innocent people killed in war, you jackass.


8. Thomas Fucking Jackson. Surprise! The white police chief of mostly-black Ferguson lied about that surveillance tape. Which only shows Michael Brown buying a box of cigars, not stealing it. Why release it if it doesn’t show a crime in progress? At this point, I’d say the likeliest answer is BLACK GUY SOOOOOO SCARY, BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!

9 and 10. Ron Fucking Paul and Michele Fucking Bachmann. Let’s just kill two birds here and say that these two wingnut darlings are in a guano-load of trouble. Ha, ha.

11. Trevor Fucking Berger. Again with the police chiefs. And this one took time out from his busy schedule to bludgeon and decapitate a little boy’s pet chicken. Who are the thugs, again?

12. Robby Fucking Gallaty. Did your gaydar just go off? Because my gaydar just went off. Hooboy, did my gaydar EVER go off.


13. Laurie Fucking Higgins. So, kids with gay parents should “take joy” in reading books that paint gay parents in a bad light? Well, by that token, then, I guess the public libraries should also start stocking books by Hitler and the Marquis de Sade. I mean, it’s only fair…right?

14. Anders Fucking Behring Fucking Breivik. And speaking of Hitler, his little Norwegian fan decided to go the “democratic” route and start an antidemocratic political party from his jail cell. And he’s kvetching about “censorship” while forgetting who took it to its logical extreme. O irony…

15. Rob Fucking Ford. No, you will not be mayor of Toronto for 14 more years. With any luck, you won’t even get ONE more. Torontonians, vote with care!

16. Kenneth Eugene Fucking Harden. Um, you ARE aware that slavery is illegal, right? And that even if you manage to get a woman to sign herself over to you, it’s not legally binding because SLAVERY…right? Oops, I guess not. And now you’re behind bars. Hope you enjoy breaking rocks like a good little slave, bub.


17. Charles Fucking Lane. Oh, look who forgot what Ike Eisenhower (that commie pinko rebel!) said in his farewell address. Guess this guy doesn’t care if those who get sent off to fight “terrorism” have a decent education BEFORE they go…or what happens to them after they come back in something other than a box. And has anyone ever stopped to consider that maybe “they” don’t hate your freedom, but your constant interference in their homes and lives? And that ISIL is, in fact, another fine product of said interference, anyway?

18. Willie Fucking Robertson. No, Nicholas Cage’s latest mistake won’t convert atheists…or us pagans, either. Especially since it’s a totally unnecessary remake of a twelve-year-old flop.

19. Phil Fucking Robertson. Meanwhile, Big Daddy Duck Dynasty is not only looking like one of the Taliban, he’s sounding more and more like one, too. All he needs is a turban, and he’ll be all set. PS: No, Jesus was NOT a homophobe. He said nothing about LGBTs at all.


20. Robert Fucking Flynn. Surprise! That woman you tried to rape is a federal marshal. And I guess getting your balls kicked in by one of those must really hurt. Ha, ha.

21 and 22. Bob and Maureen Fucking McDonnell. How do you like your transvaginal ultrasounds now, you two corruptos? Ha, ha.

23. Charlie Fucking Shrem. Once more, with feeling, kiddies: BITCOIN IS SHITCOIN. And don’t you forget it!

24. Daniel Fucking Holtzclaw, AGAIN. Not only is he a racist rapist, he’s also a racist killer. Gee, don’t all you supporters of this creep feel stupid NOW?


25. Brandon Fucking Amato. Surprise! Snapchat doesn’t let you get away with sexually harassing your under-age students. Especially when they’re inclined to tell on you. Who knew?

26. Gordon Fucking Klingenschmitt. When even the squirrely Colorado Repugs don’t want you, you know you’re politically toast. Sucks to be you, John Jacob Jingleheimer!

27. Michael Fucking Elsbury. Another day in the USA, another racist cop saying something totally shitty. Well, at least this one had the decency to step down on his own, saving the public the time and expense of firing him.

28. Mark Fucking Sanford. You guys! Can you believe that this dude’s ex-wife (whom he left for the Other Woman — in ARGENTINA, no less) STILL refuses to cover his sorry ass with that story about the Appalachian Trail, and live a lie so that he can maybe one day run for president of the US? It’s shocking. Just shocking, I tell ya…oh, who am I kidding. Dude shat his own bed, now he can wallow in it. Bwahahahahasnurk.


29. Julian Fucking Bharti. I don’t know what’s grosser: paying at an auction just to kiss some washed-up supermodel who’s not even interested in your gropey tongue, or paying eighty-one-thousand fucking dollars for the privilege.

30. Benny Fucking Johnson. Plagiarizing ex-Buzzfeeder falls up…straight into wingnut welfare heaven. And get this: The idiot rag that hired him…is the same he used to crib his crap from. Seems a perfect fit to me!

31. Robert Fucking Monteleone. Thank you, Mr. Personal Responsibility, for that lovely lecture on how women must shoulder the burden of ending rape culture themselves. When the hell are you going to get around to your brothers? What about teh menz, Rob? No, really — WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ?

32. Jonathan Fucking Koppenhaver. Yeah, right, “not guilty”. I guess Christy Mack just beat and kicked the shit out of herself, didn’t she?


33. Kevin Fucking Sorbo. Hey Kevvy, the Jews just called. Said it wasn’t them who killed Jesus, it was the Romans. Crucifixion is a Roman execution method. Stoning is the biblical method of the Jews. Look it up, you irrelevant imbecile.

34. Gene Fucking Simmons. So, rock is dead? Well, we all know who killed it, and it wasn’t pirates. It was shitty old creeps who hit on every woman they meet at random, advocate suicide and the mass murder of Palestinians from behind a mask of hideous face paint.

35. John Fucking Nolte. Shed a tear, Joan Rivers is dead. Now who will call Michelle Obama something she isn’t? Well, I guess the entire idiotic, unfunny right-wing noise machine will just have to take up that particular bit of slack. And go right on blaming the “liberals” who supposedly run the entertainment industry, in defiance of the indisputable fact that some shit just isn’t funny, and that’s why those “jokes” keep bombing.


And finally, to those whitey-white-whiter-than-white fucking schoolteachers of Staten Island, New York…who saw fit to wear t-shirts supporting their local police right after a rally against police brutality in the death of (black, unarmed) Eric Garner. This against the advice of their board of education, which has rules against things like that. Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re totally not racist. You just have the world’s most atrocious fucking timing when it comes to rah-rah local cop-shop boosterism. And I’m sure the black kids in your classrooms, and their parents, understand completely.

Good night, and get fucked!

Posted in Wankers of the Week. Comments Off »

Cops Behaving Badly: Back to School Bathroom Bomb Scare Edition


The front page of an official Texas website promoting abstinence. Think it will work?

Ugh, Texas…what the fuck is wrong with you? Whatever it is, even your police are suffering from it now:

Parents in Texas are upset after police reportedly “swarmed” a Texas high school because a girl may have had a miscarriage in one of the bathrooms.

KDFW reported that a school custodian notified the principal at Woodrow Wilson High School after finding a “possible fetus” in one of the bathroom stalls on Friday.

The principal contacted police, who “swarmed” the school, according to KTVT.

They even sent a helicopter to buzz the skies overhead. Yup, miscarrying in the school washroom is now being treated exactly like a full-fledged terrorist attack. One would think it was a bomb, not blood, in the toilets.

And oh yeah: How about a little religious slut-shaming with that, too?

Dallas Police Department’s Child Abuse Unit detectives were investigating to find out who may have abandoned the fetus. The person involved was being considered a “suspect.”

“We’re reviewing video, talking to the teachers, trying to determine if anybody has any knowledge of any student that may have had something going on in their life, and pray,” Dallas Police Major John Lawton said.

Yeah, that’s right…instead of trying to find the girl and make sure she’s all right, they’re just gonna pray. Pray for that young heathen jezebel who just couldn’t wait until she was married before getting knocked up. She’s being treated as a “suspect”, rather than a girl who may be in need of medical attention.

And the local religious slut-shaming brigade also just HAD to chime in…

Alan Elliott of Baby Moses Dallas explained to KDFW that the mother could have avoided any criminal charges if she had taken advantage of Baby Moses laws by carrying the child to term, and then dropping it off at a safe baby site like a fire station.

“And that’s a happy ending when that happens, because the baby is safe, the mother is protected from any sort of prosecution, so it’s a win-win for both of them,” Elliot noted.

However, it was not immediately clear how far along the pregnancy was, and the cause of the possible miscarriage was not known.

…even though it’s not clear that it was a deliberate abortion. What if it turns out to be an accident?

And why all this horrible talk of prosecuting what must, by now, be one terribly frightened girl?

Well, maybe because Texas is an abstinence-only state. And that’s not going so well for them:

Texas has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the country. Although the teen birth rate has been declining over the past decade, the Lone Star State still has the highest rate of repeat teen births, as an estimated 22 percent of teens who give birth have already had at least one child.

In light of those statistics, how is Texas’ Department of Health hoping to help prevent future unintended pregnancies among young women? By spending $1.2 million to build an abstinence-only website that doesn’t include any mention of contraception.

Yes, I’m sure that will help a lot. In fact, I bet the girl in question was already a beneficiary of just such a paucity of information. Not to mention deathly afraid of seeking birth control, because if anyone found out, the slut-shame brigade would turn out in force and swarm her, just like those stupid cops and their helicopter. Girls who conceal pregnancies tend to be afraid of things like that. Even just telling their own mothers could be the hardest thing in the world to do — especially if Mom is another of those religious freaks who would rather pray for her daughter’s soul than take her to the doctor and make sure her body is all right.

And really — since when is it the police’s duty to play Morally Judgmental Parent?

With a “win-win” framework like that in place, more bathroom miscarriages are all but inevitable.

The German sex trade’s leading lobbyists, unmasked


Johanna Weber and Fabienne Freymadl, two leading “spokespersons” for the recently-assembled German “sex workers’ movement”. Who are they, and what lies behind them? EMMA investigated, and found the following:

In the middle of the summer, BILD.de came out with the provocative headline: “These Whores are Government Advisors”. And then readers who were so inclined found out that the “whores”, Johanna Weber (46) and Fabienne Freymadl (35) were regarded as “specialists” in conjunction with a proposed change to prostitution laws in the capital city. They took part in “several informative background talks”, “met various political specialists from the CDU/CSU, SPD, Green and Left parties, and telephone regularly with them” (BILD). Apparently they have a particularly good connection with Eva Högl (SPD party representative), Ulrike Bahr (SPD family policy specialist), and the Greens, Volker Beck and Hans-Christian Ströbele.

Johanna Weber, the political spokeswoman of the so-called “Berufsverband erotische und sexuelle Dienstleistungen e.V.” [Trade Union of Erotic and Sexual Services, Inc.], also advised the federal family ministry at their prostitution hearing on June 12, 2014. “The politicians often come to us with supposedly good ideas, but those mostly don’t fit with the realities of the branch,” she reveals. She apparently knows what fits.

But does she fit? Let’s start with the fact that Johanna Weber’s real name is Verena Johannsen. Her specialties as a dominatrix are “Schweinereien” [literally "piggeries"]: “Natursekt” (“natural champagne”, or “golden showers” — urinating on men), “Caviar” (defecating on men, sometimes directly in the mouth), or “Facefarting”.

This sort of job is actually new for Weber/Johannsen herself. The front-woman of the “union” for “sex workers”, founded just last year, has been, by her own account, on the job for just four years. Before that, the professional distance runner taught sports, was an active sports marketer, and organized women’s runs, for example at the Lesbian Beach Festival. Politically, too, the dominatrix seems to be engaged in women’s and leftist causes. By her own account she donates five percent of her income, mostly to “sex worker” organizations like Hydra, but also to ATTAC or Terre des Femmes.

The positions Weber/Johannsen subscribes to regarding prostitution law sound correspondingly politically and movement-experienced. Not from below the belt, but stepping high. Like the 23-page “Position Paper on the ‘Regulation of Prostitution'” for the federal family ministry. The introduction reads:

“We apologize that we did not submit our position paper on the expected deadline date of June 2, 2014. June 2, the International Whores’ Day, is a day of remembrance for the whores’ movement. On that day in 1975, French sex workers went on strike and occupied a church in Lyon, in order to defend themselves against police brutality and lingering discrimination. This event is the watershed of the worldwide whores’ movement. We hereby dedicate our position paper to these brave colleagues.”

Colleagues? The in fact very brave prostitutes of Lyon, unfortunately, can’t defend themselves. Because they don’t know Johanna Weber, and have no idea what is being done in their name. If they knew, they would surely not allow it.

Starting with the label “whore”. “Nous ne sommes pas des putes!” goes their slogan, with which they took to the street at the time, shoulder to shoulder with feminists who had travelled from Paris to accompany and support their protest. “We are not whores!”, but persons. The women of Lyon fought then for their rights — and not those of pimps and brothel owners.

That’s what Weber and her colleagues are doing with their “union”, founded on October 13, 2013. But who are they really?

In a wobbly photo taken at the founding, there are some thirty women, many of them hidden, plus one man. Since then, the same half-dozen people keep popping up on talk shows and at events, saying what fun it is to prostitute oneself, and making the case for the recognition of prostitution as a “profession like any other”.

These women have names like Undine, Amber or Fabienne, and are often current or former dominatrices in the BDSM field. Some are now running BDSM “studios”, in which they work together or have other women working for them.

Across from them are an estimated 400,000 women who work as prostitutes. Some 70 percent (estimated by the pro-prostitution front) to 98 percent (police estimate) are migrants, and as a rule come from the poorest Eastern European countries. The dommes from the “union”, therefore, speak for maybe two percent of German prostitutes. But even among these, many see it differently than these politically-correct “sex workers” do. All the same, this atypical, vanishingly small minority has been the front-row conversation partner of politics, and apparently the only voice for the prostitutes.

But these “specialists” don’t represent in any way the interests of the prostituted, but rather those of pimps and brothel owners — even those of the human traffickers, in that they minimize or cover up their roles in the prostitution industry.

One can read as much in the 23-page position paper for the women’s ministry from June 12, too. It reads like the work of experienced jurists. Here, the legalistic argumentation speaks not of the interests of women in prostitution, but that of the sex industry, which has long been hand-in-glove with organized crime.

The position paper pushes the “decriminalization of sex work”. But for whom? Women and men in prostitution have not been punished in Germany for years. The only ones who are still punishable are those who trade women as wares: the pimps and brothel owners. And the position paper of the “sex workers” contains almost nothing but demands to decriminalize these woman-traders. They speak out against raising the legal prostitution age to 21, against mandatory health checks, and against mandatory condom use. They also demand that the punitive laws against pimping be struck without replacement, as well as those on exploitation of prostitutes, and youth-endangering prostitution. The “sex workers” want the police to stay out of the business altogether. That would be a “disruption of business”. So, free rein for the pimps and human traffickers.

The “union” is calling for state-sponsored “entry counselling” for prostitution, and “development”. What kinds of practices are involved in that “development”, can be seen on the “union” website: The “sex workers” are against abolishing flat-rate prostitution and “gang bangs” (simulated gang rape). It couldn’t get any more cynical.

The “union” is also working toward total deregulation of prostitution in Germany, as well as furthering its spread. So, the lady “sex workers” are, plainly and simply, lobbyists for the prostitution industry. And they are no longer even taking the trouble to hide it.

On June 30, 2014, Johanna Weber wrote in the name of the union to “Dear Madame Minister Schwesig”. In her letter, she congratulated the minister responsible for prostitution on her “political and juristic separation of the subjects of human trafficking and prostitution”, as well as her “participative efforts to include sex workers”.

All of that was already more than enough. But Weber didn’t sign the letter alone. A fellow signatory is Holger Rettig, a representative of the very un-transparent “Unternehmerverbandes Erotikgewerbe Deutschland e.V.” [Erotic Enterprises Chamber of Commerce of Germany, Inc.]. The organization was founded in 2007, and according to Rettig, a former boxing trainer, it has 170 members. But other than himself, none of them has appeared publicly. The brothel-owners’ association and the prostitutes’ “union” are lobbying shoulder-to-shoulder for a convenient law. That would be as if a business association and a workers’ union were to band together. The concept of a “union” label, then, is a pure lie.

At the end of September, these two organizations, along with the BuFAS (Bündnis für Sexarbeiterinnen und Sexarbeiter; in English, “Union for Sex Workers”), will be holding a sex-work congress in Berlin, titled “Sex Work in Movement Times”. The three-day get-together is organized by Johanna Weber, front woman of the “union”, member of the “whores’ project” Hydra, and advisor to BuFAS. According to announcement, at the congress will discuss “concrete measures to improve working conditions” and “the future viability of the field”. Goal: “A basis for political decisions”.

On the first day, one of the model dommes, Undine de Rivière, will take the podium at Humboldt University alongside female politicians of all parties. Says Rivière: “I’ve been a sex worker for 20 years, but I don’t know a single victim.”

The keynote speaker will be Henny Engels, from the German Women’s Ministry, the umbrella organization of all established women’s organizations (from political parties, churches, professional organizations, etc.). To the amazement of all other European umbrella organizations, in December 2012 the German Women’s Ministry was the only women’s organization that did not sign the “Brussels Call” for abolition of prostitution.

And BuFAS? Alice Schwarzer’s book, Prostitution: A German Scandal has analyzed in which measure these state-financed “whores’ projects”, such as Hydra, Madonna and Kassandra, which head up BuFAS, have become lobbyists for the sex trade. The “whores’ projects” campaign overwhelmingly for entry into prostitution, instead of for exit. And this, although some of them are receiving money from the federal women’s ministry’s model project for exit. A look at their websites tells the story. For example, Kassandra’s website is headed with the slogan: “Prostitution was, is and always will be part of our sexual culture.”

Prostitution and human trafficking bring in a lot of money. A whole lot. Not only millions in state monies, but billions of euros change hands; in Germany in 2013 alone, according to the federal statistics agency, some 14.6 billion euros. And the profit rates are up to 1,000 percent. Drug and weapons traffickers can only dream of that.

So the lobbyists are not lacking in power or money for fancy websites, juristically savvy position papers, and congresses. In contrast, there are hundred-thousands of nameless, bitterly poor prostitutes, whose earnings lie below minimum wage and who, in most cases, can’t even speak German.

But oh yes, who is Fabienne Freymadl, the second “whore” advising women politicians in Berlin? The 35-year-old coms from arch-Catholic Freising [a suburb of München, in Bayern], where even the German Pope has long seemed blessed, and is, according to her own statements, a “sadist out of passion”, which often comes up in those circles. Freymadl performs as “Firelilly” at parties, including “burlesque dancing” or “children’s face-painting”. Or she plays the golden angel on stilts at Christmas markets. Cute, eh?

As a domme, the multi-faceted Freymadl is stricter, though. She specializes in pain-infliction (“Your suffering makes my eyes sparkle.”). Her specialty is a “dungeon with authentic atmosphere”. There, her clients can submit to “dungeon rules”, be interrogated, chained up and tortured, sometimes for twelve hours or even longer. Perhaps some ladies and gentlemen politicians from the capital should take a tour there sometime?

Sure, some women might really enjoy torturing men. Usually, something like that is just called man-hating. That these man-haters gladly let men pay them for that is understandable. But that they offer themselves as political lobbyists for the sex trade at the expense of hundred-thousands of women — that goes too far. Someone should put a stop to that. And soon!

Translation mine.

Aside from the “man-hating” bit, which is editorializing on the part of the author (and may or may not in fact be true), the most egregiously humiliating linguistic slams here come from the oh-so-politically-correct “sex workers’ union” leaders themselves. (You’ll notice I put that in quotation marks; there is a reason for that, and if the EMMA article doesn’t article make clear why, then just keep reading.) “Whores”, they “proudly” call themselves? Well, so much for those who claim that prudish feminists are the ones perpetuating the hurtful old “whore stigma” — here, it is none other than the so-called “sex workers” themselves! The prostitutes of Lyon, supported by feminists from Paris, made it clear in their protests that they are NOT “whores”, they are PEOPLE, and deserving of dignified treatment. The ongoing use of that false word (oddly, alongside the vague and whitewashy term, “sex work”), in an ahistoric denial of what the Lyon uprising stood for, is a gross insult to any woman in prostitution who has ever stood up for her own humanity. And it gets grosser.

In the economically depressed lands of Eastern Europe, where most of the women and girls in the brothels were trucked in from, that word is the most humiliating in the entire, extensive vocabulary of misogyny. In Moldova, a leading source point for trafficked prostitutes, poverty is so bad, and patriarchy so deeply entrenched, that the first pimps the girls get are their own male relatives. “Whore, go out and make money!” is the thing they hear when, upon turning a certain age (generally given as 15 or 16), they are turned out to work. Work, that is, in foreign countries, where they are taken by mafiosi with tentacles all over Europe, to German mega-bordellos where clients pay a flat rate for unlimited “sex” (note the quotes; obviously, enthusiastic consent is NOT on the menu). And where the management looks the other way, not only when it comes to the shadowy origins of their supply chain, but also when it comes to the use of condoms, state-mandated health checks, etc. Numerous mega-brothels have been shuttered due to violations of the health and safety code. Which, in Germany, is enforced from time to time, but not nearly often enough to be meaningful to the women who must work the brothels night and day, for what amounts to sub-minimum wages once their room fees and other “expenses” are subtracted. The brothel owners have set up a tidy profit-making enterprise for themselves, so it stands to reason that they will do anything, not only to keep it going, but to make it even more profitable.

And that’s where the hastily-clapped-up “sex workers’ union” comes in.

Now, an actual prostitutes’ union would, one should think, fight the bosses tooth and nail for better working conditions for the employees. It would be headed by those actually working in the field, instead of arcane “specialists” in the decidedly minority ranks of the BDSM dommes. Nobody elected these women, “Johanna Weber” and “Fabienne Freymadl” (the latter’s pseudonymous surname means “free girl” in the Bavarian dialect, and most girls in prostitution are anything but free.) And since nobody elected them, they represent nobody’s interests, as far as the 400,000 prostitutes in Germany are concerned. The “union” leaders are not only not fighting for the “workers”, they are actively sweeping their concerns under the rug, minimizing and whitewashing all the day-to-day horrors and miseries the women and girls must suffer.

And worse, these “whore” lobbyists are all working to abolish even the minimal, inadequate workplace protections the prostitutes receive, in order to protect — whom? Well, considering who they really work for, that’s obvious: the traffickers. Because who else could possibly benefit from prostitutes being completely without protection by the state, the health authorities, and the police? And who else would be so keen to mount such a massive whitewashing campaign?

The johns are already protected by law and social convention, after all. The worst thing they might come away from the brothels with, aside from a vague, nagging sensation of emptiness (and not so much about the wallet, either; remember, those joints are flat-rate, and the rates are dirt cheap), is a dose of some sexually-transmitted disease or other. German society is all too happy to shrug and look the other way; some non-prostituted women even express “relief” that “those women” exist, because then their husbands and boyfriends and bosses won’t pester THEM with sexual demands they can’t or don’t want to fulfill. And there is also the unspoken “relief” that the “whores” act as a kind of “escape valve” for the imaginary “pent-up head of steam” that would otherwise turn a “sexually frustrated” man into a rapist.

All of this is implicit in the idea of the “whores’ project”, that odiously named bit of legalistic chicanery that, quite conveniently, benefits not a single one of the estimated 400,000 women, most of them Eastern European, in Armutsprostitution — that wonderful German word meaning “poverty prostitution”. There are no “Happy Hookers” there; nobody makes that kind of money. What little is left after the brothels extort their “room rent”, most of it goes back to the old country, to support relatives (mostly male) who are out of work thanks to the fall of the socialist bloc. The benefit to the woman is almost nil, and the German economy on the whole sees little of it, either. The tax collectors, like the police, tend to look the other way as long as all the papers are in order and the cheques are sent in on time. The lion’s share of the profits goes to those who run the brothels — and the trafficking networks that supply the “sex workers”.

I’ve long thought that what some call “sex work” should rightly be called SEX CAPITALISM, because in fact, that’s what it is. And these few “specialists”, like the two in the picture above, who speak for far fewer than 1% of women in the sex industry as a whole, should quit calling themselves “workers”, because their “unions” are literally and figuratively in bed with the bosses. (They should call themselves the Point-Zero-Zero-One-Percenters, really.) The only analogous situation that comes to my mind is that of Venezuela just before and during the coup of ’02, when the country’s corrupt trade-union congress, the CTV, actively got in bed with FEDECAMARAS, the umbrella organization of the Venezuelan chambers of commerce, to try to topple a democratically elected president. Real union workers, who were overwhelmingly pro-Chávez, got so upset with the CTV that they ended up ditching it and forming a new organization, the UNT, whose leadership was free of unelected toadies like Carlos Ortega, and which actually represented the workers’ concerns before the state. (Not surprisingly, the crooked CTV was heavily aligned with the interests of another big bunch of shadow-dwelling pimps: USAID, and the CIA.)

I don’t know if Germany’s prostitutes (most of whom are not German, and barely even speak the language) will ever get to doing what the Venezuelan trade unionists did — namely, kick out these corrupt “spokespeople” who speak for no one. Somehow, I doubt they will ever gain the power to do that; their non-citizen status and economic vulnerability keep them in chains. But the German state can do something about it, and as the EMMA article points out, it is high time that they should. Starting, of course, with a purging of “pro-business” elements across the board from the halls of power. Lobbying, after all, is the legalized form of corruption.

The German model for “regulating” prostitution is clearly failing the very women it was ostensibly designed to protect. And if the pimp lobby gets its way, there will soon be no regulations left at all. It is time to replace that defective model with something else that works.

Right next door to Germany, the Dutch are having a lot of second thoughts about their liberal prostitution laws, and this due to precisely the same conditions that prevail in Germany: organized crime running the whole show. What was once the free domain of independent women just making a living, is now the Mafia’s game. And the response is the last thing the liberalization advocates expected: Amsterdam shuttered hundreds of its famous red-light district “windows”, where prostitutes used to sit in their scanty lingerie, waiting for clients, in 2007. The city has also raised its legal age for first-time prostitutes to 21. All this and more because the Dutch are being inundated with cheap, disposable female flesh from Eastern Europe, the very sort of thing that used to plague Sweden. That is, until someone there decided to consult with actual Swedish prostitutes, to find out what they thought and felt. The result of that extensive consultation? The Swedish “sex purchase” law, which has since been adopted also in Norway, Finland and Iceland, making it truly a Nordic model. Now the Dutch, too, are tentatively looking into it. The Europarliament has approved it. And even France has adopted something similar. Why is that model so popular? Because it works. It reduces harm for women in the sex trade. And it enables them to exit at their own chosen moment, too.

What? A prostitution law written, if not literally by prostitutes, then certainly FOR them? By those who actually listened to them, and heard their concerns, and consulted them every step of the way? Police that protect the women, not the pimps, traffickers and johns? Social welfare agencies helping women get out of prostitution, and not into it, as the pimp lobby — oh sorry, “sex workers’ unions” — of Germany would have them do?


Quotable: Samuel Gompers on the labor struggle

Music for a Sunday: What I did today

Okay, I didn’t dance to the Euro-beat; I just jumped in the pool and rediscovered juvenile idiocy and general fun, including the never-gets-old challenge of touching that white thingie at the very bottom of the deep end. And turning flips in the water.

Posted in Music for a Sunday. Comments Off »

Wankers of the Week: The Other Ice Bucket Challenge


Crappy weekend, everyone! Have you all done the Ice Bucket Challenge to raise money for research into Lou Gehrig’s disease yet? No? Well, don’t worry. I may not have your hundred dollars, but I got your ice-cold showers right here, baby:

1. Rajesh Fucking Kumar. Welp, looks like what everyone was expecting to happen, did. The Menz Rightz “movement” has officially embraced and endorsed the “Alpha Male shit” sausage factory that is Jonathan Koppenhaver, a.k.a. War Machine, a.k.a. that washed-up MMA fighter who damn near killed Christy Mack. Women are now worse than Nazis, and men more persecuted than Jews. Also, the sky is green, the grass is blue, and bullshit is roses that don’t smell a bit like poo-poo.

2. Dean Fucking Esmay. Oh wait, hold the phone. The OTHER Abusers’ Lobby has officially attempted to distance itself from said Koppenhaver. Onaccounta no true Scotsman, or some such fallacy. Um, yeah.

3. Warren Fucking Kinsella. Memory holes: Not for Big Brother anymore. Ingsoc lives…among Liberal strategists, anyway. And boy, do I feel sorry for anyone who’d keep this one as theirs. Glad he’s not Olivia Chow’s problem anymore!

4. Megyn Fucking Kelly. FUX Snoozers can always be counted on to blather about “race-baiting”, whatever that’s supposed to mean (I suspect it’s wingnutspeak for “black people refusing to take racist shit”). But then they try to do it themselves…with a black preacher who’s not having any of their shit. Racist bait: NOT TAKEN.


5. Christine Fucking Lagarde. Corruption? Qu’est-ce que c’est? The IMF does not engage in such things! Except of course it does. All major global financial institutions do. It’s just taken this long for Karma to catch up to it. And now Karma has. And of course, Karma’s a bitch.

6 and 7. Steve Fucking Doocy and Linda Fucking Chavez. Mike Brown wasn’t unarmed…he was armed with his…um…BRAWN! His brown brawn. Yeah, that’s it. And no, that’s totally NOT racist.

8. Pat Fucking Robertson. Cthulhu must be getting awfully hungry by now, with all the asinine things Patwa has said this week. But really…Robin Williams? He’s not around to defend himself from these ridiculous accusations. How Christian, to pick on a dead man. Jesus must be puking his guts out.

9. Des Fucking Hague. Thanks a lot for proving every bad thing we ever suspected about crapitalist CEOs to be absolutely true. Kicking puppies is pretty damn fucking low. Blaming the dog won’t help, either.


10. Vicki Fucking McKenna. How ironic is it that one of the biggest right-wing cop-cheerleaders was once in an altercation with police herself — and it’s all a matter of public record? Hell, I can see that the anarchist in me has a lot of catching up to do when it comes to these fascist hypocrites…

11. Rob Fucking Schneider. No, you don’t have proof that the CDC did anything. Conspiracy websites are notorious for being short on hard evidence, remember?

12. Gary Fucking Busey. I don’t know if he’s just senile, or if he’s always been skeevy, but really: hitting on Courtney Stodden? Dude, ugh. Just UGH.

13. Kirk Fucking Cameron. Oh look, it’s that tired old War on Christmas trope yet again. Seems it comes earlier every year, and the only thing it ever proves is that smug devout religionists are nauseating.

14. Kevin Fucking Sorbo. Why?


That’s why. Pot, keep calling that kettle black.

15. Peter Fucking MacKay. Yeah, there goes our so-called justice minister, wanking his puny dick off again. This time by wearing a pro-gun-nut shirt, touting a push to legalize all semi-autos, at a Con fundraiser. I guess the Montréal Massacre hasn’t taught this stupid motherfucker a goddamn thing. You know what to do in the next election, folks: VOTE THE FUCKERS OUT.

16. Will Fucking Hayden. And in other ammosexual news, looks like this “Son of a Gun” has been charged with the rape of his own daughter. At age 11. Maybe his gun is not the only weapon he needs to have confiscated.

17. Pamela Fucking Geller. ISIS is a GODDESS, you IDIOTESS. ISIL, on the other hand, is a far more accurate term for the terrorist militia that the US and Israel both have got blowing back in their collective faces right now. But trust a shitblogger of the far right not to get that fine distinction.

18. Stephen Fucking Joel Fucking Trachtenberg. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how fucked-up it is that some people STILL don’t realize that rape isn’t caused by women drinking, it’s caused by men raping. And that this happens to women whether they’ve been drinking or not. But hey! Even if he doesn’t have the smarts or the grace to be embarrassed by his own stoopid, at least his successor is. PS: Sign, sign, sign!


19. Susan Fucking Patton. Yes, that’s right, the idiotic Princeton Mom is in the news again. This time, for slamming an alumna’s sugar-baby film Kickstarter. Not that there’s nothing wrong with the whole sugar-daddy arrangement (there’s plenty; my thoughts on that and other related matters, in case you care, are here), but it’s kind of hypocritical, considering that Patton is a big booster of the whole “marry young, marry well” archaism that a lot of educated women, including Princeton alumnae, have outgrown long since.

20. Rob Fucking Ford. Not only is he bat guano, but he got a bunch of high school football players to roll in goose guano. Yeah, that’s right: slimy, green, stinking shit. Boy, what I wouldn’t give to rub his nose in some of that!

21. John Fucking Baird. How’s it feel to be schooled in geography by a bunch of Russkies at NATO, eh Squealer? You gigantic fucking idiot. How did you get to be foreign minister again? You know nothing about external politics at all!

22. J.D. Fucking Hayworth. And speaking of schooled: How’s it feel to have a real doctor shoot down your bullshit “concerns” about Central American refugee children as vectors of contagious disease? Ha, ha.


23. Ralph Fucking Hudgens. Whatsamatter, Ralphie…afraid of a little critical journalism? Well, don’t worry. Just because you got your goons to strong-arm a lady reporter out of there, doesn’t mean that she isn’t going to get a strong signal boost…starting right here!

24. Bryan Fucking Fischer. No, Jesus isn’t magic, and he’s not keeping the Universe from flying apart. It is expanding, and there ain’t a damn thing anyone can do about that. Ha, ha.

25. Phyllis Fucking Schlafly. No, marriage isn’t magic, and it doesn’t have the power to protect women against rape. There’s only one way to do that, and that is to make men stop raping women. Including their wives. And marriage doesn’t protect against that, either!

26. John Fucking Goodman. Ah yes, another case of conservative family values gone oh, SO wrong. Funny how this sort of thing always seems to happen to rabid right-wingers. Must be all those gay couples getting gay married that’s doing it to them!


27. Ray Fucking Albers. Go fuck yourself…right out of a job. Ha, ha.

28 and 29. Lilia Fucking Ratmanski and Milana Fucking Musikante. The height of air-rage idiocy: Getting stinkingly drunk on the plane, smoking in the bathroom, setting off the fire alarm (because of course), and then getting into a brawl. Must have been some fight, because NORAD had to scramble two fighter jets to escort the diverted plane to the nearest airport. And the passengers erupted in cheers when these two idiots were hustled off.

30. Sandy Fucking Rios. Men are “more degraded than women”? Uh-uh. Sounds like the only one brainwashed here is YOU, Sandy.


And finally, to all the death-threat senders on the Internets. Especially those who attacked Anita Sarkeesian (and David Futrelle). If you really want someone dead, why not just show up at their door in person with a gun, you cowardly motherfuckers? Not that I actually recommend that either. FYI, threatening violence is a crime, too. May you all get caught, and may it not go well for you when you do.

Good night, and get fucked!

ISIS is a Goddess; ISIL is shit. Literally.


Aliaa Elmahdy and a Swedish friend show ISIL what they really think of their world-domination plans. Story from EMMA:

For this symbolic protest, they risk their lives: An Egyptian and a Swede menstruate and shit on the flag of the IS-terrorists. The key player is Aliaa Magda Elmahdy, who joined FEMEN in 2012 and outraged the Arab world with her nude photos. Today, she lives in exile in Sweden.

The provocation could not be greater. Or the courage. Aliaa knows her brothers. She knows that nothing could humiliate them more than to stage something like this, which she did with the help of her fellow FEMEN in the network. She (apparently) menstruates with legs apart on the Islamist flag — because nothing is uncleaner to them than menstrual blood.

And the half-veiled woman beside her shits, literally and figuratively, on the flag. And she also holds the stink-finger up (just for that, a woman practically deserves the death penalty, in the eyes of these Islamists). On her naked backside she has drawn the FEMEN symbol: two breasts. Right and left, Kalashnikovs lie at the ready.

The provocation is making the rounds of the western virtual world. In the Arab world, no one dares to distribute the photo of the demonstration. It could, so it’s said, “injure religious feelings”. But even in the west, the demonstration is often only published in censored form: with vagina covered and a black bar over the breasts. Or cropped, as in the otherwise unscrupulous magazine, VICE. Pre-emptive obedience.

Aliaa herself is not available to journalists at the moment; the danger is too great for her. But Inna Shevchenko, one of the leading FEMEN members from Ukraine, now in exile in Paris, gladly gave Paris Match an explanation. She finds the “religious feelings” argument “hypocritical”. “The IS terrorizes the whole world with its photos and videos of executions,” says Inna. “We, however, don’t really kill [anyone]. We only kill through ridicule. We show [them]: ‘We shit on your ideas!'”

Aliaa Elmahdy has long been in danger, but she would surely not survive this demonstration in an Islamically-ruled land. She has been living since 2012 in exile in Sweden. Until now, she has only been able to survive in hiding. Asked if she regrets her actions, she once said: “I won’t change my opinion in the face of death threats. On the contrary!” Today, she would surely say the same.

Translation mine.

Yes, I realize there might be some danger for me in republishing this uncensored photo. Which even VICE, funnily enough, didn’t have the nerve to do; corporatism makes cowards of us all. And in translating the story from German to English, so it can easily be read by anyone anywhere in the world. Well, so what? I’m in a lot less danger than Aliaa, who has already been in mortal peril for two years and counting. I’m just some little blogger. I’m under the radar. I guess I can afford to do this, and to share my thoughts about it.

Whether you agree with the general tactics of FEMEN or not (and I myself am ambivalent; I think their strip-down demos work best when they are protesting prostitution, not religion), a fragmentary or censored message is as bad as none at all. A pulled punch has no impact. I think it’s more important that people be able to see this and consider it for themselves.

Looking at this, I began to wonder if this was even real. It could be, certainly. Then again, that could just as easily be fake blood dribbling in artistic filigree between Aliaa’s thighs. And that turd, so small and neat and perfectly round — does it even stink? Or is it a shellacked prop? Are the guns real AK-47s, or plastic replicas?

At least there is no doubt about the authenticity of the fuck-finger, and no ambiguity about its message.

And whether the image is real or not, the danger Aliaa faces is always the same. Hanged for a sheep or for a lamb, either way you hang. She’s in exile already. She’s been in hiding for two years. And who knows how many fatwas have been issued against her for the rather mild act of being photographed nude?

Inna Shevchenko makes the very good point that beheading-porn ought to be considered far more obscene, by any sensible person, than merely stripping off, shedding a few drops of blood, and pooping on a flag. And it is. I would be far more reluctant to republish that; hell, I’m reluctant to even look at it. And I am not a squeamish little thing. Even worse than all that gore-porn is what lies behind the beheading — of James Foley, and of anyone else ISIL has gotten its grubby hooks into.

And worst of all, it’s all for nought, because the Muslim world itself doesn’t want an “Islamic State”, much less one ruled by some jumped-up schmuck with a fancy watch. ISIL is not Islam, and that dude at the helm is not the Prophet Mohammed. However devout, most Muslims prefer democracy, and have no problem abiding by secular law; as long as they are not asked to renounce their religion, or violate their own values, they are content and at peace with modernity. And more than capable of fitting comfortably into society wherever they are. Muslim women don’t need to have their veils torn off any more than they need to be forced to wear them in the first place. More important to them than re-establishing some mythical caliphate of the distant past are the priorities of the present: food, water, health, education, social welfare, and infrastructure. You know, the same basic things that we westerners also consider non-negotiable. Surprise, we all need the same things! And woe betide any leader, elected or not, who can’t give us those things — or the means to obtain them for ourselves.

ISIL is bound to come to a bad end; it’s only a question of where, when and how. One doesn’t have to be a FEMEN member to see that the ISIL goons, and everything they are trying to establish, are shit already.

It behooves us all to consider what these women have to say. And it behooves us all to remember that half the world menstruates. And everybody shits. And if ISIL’s ideology is so easily injured by harmless biological realities like that, then it isn’t worth killing for, dying for, or submitting to.

Dear men: Nobody owes you “pretty”.


Nope, nobody. Not even these totally imaginary ladies.

Yes, kiddies, it’s that time again. Time for another anti-boner note to the menz from your ol’ Auntie Bina.

So, this US senator decided to share with us the stupid shit that others (all male, older, and white) have said to her over the years. Most of them with no idea how sexist, condescending and just plain stupid it all is. A representative sampling:

“Good thing you’re working out, because you wouldn’t want to get porky!” – an older male colleague

“You know, Kirsten, you’re even pretty when you’re fat.” – a Southern member of Congress, while holding her arm

“When I first met you in 2006 you were beautiful, a breath of fresh air. To win [the special election], you need to be beautiful again.” – a labor leader

“Don’t lose too much weight now. I like my girls chubby.” – one of her favorite members, while squeezing her waist

What do these different dudes’ remarks all have in common? I’ll give you a broad hint: It’s the ENTITLEMENT, honey.

These men are all in effect telling Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand that she needs to be pretty for them. Or for the special election. Some are telling her not to gain weight, others not to lose it. But all of them apparently think they have a right to tell her how she should look. Or NOT look. All of them are telling her, in effect, that she owes them “pretty”. And that she would be nobody and nothing without boner-appeal. (Sign this petition if you agree that this is fucked up and bullshit.)

Would they do that to other men? I’m guessing that no, they would not. They’d hold their tongues and keep any judgments on a male colleague’s looks to themselves, right? And they’d keep their hands off each other’s bodies, too, because no homo, bro!

But since Sen. Gillibrand is a woman, they feel they have a perfect right to do all that to her. A perfect right to paw her body and tell her what to do with it, as if she had no right to dignity, autonomy and respect that was not somehow tied intimately and constantly to her good looks. And by implication, that she could have no career if she did not look the way older white men wanted her to look. Because heaven knows that young people, women, and non-whites don’t vote, right? And that nobody votes for you if you don’t look like a strong contender for Miss America.

This sort of thing is disgusting and all too typical. And it doesn’t happen in a vacuum, either. It happens in a culture of rape and entitlement.

Right now, in a heartening development, there’s a lot of pushback going on against street harassment. (There’s even an app for that.) And there is, in a disheartening turn, pushback going on against the pushback. Recently, the New York Post (which has never passed up an opportunity to throw anyone’s dignity under the bus for dollars) published some contrarian clickbait in praise of street harassment, by some female sexist idiot claiming that it “empowers” women and makes them feel sexy.

It does nothing of the sort.

Anyone who’s ever been catcalled (I have, enough times to lose count), horn-honked at (ditto), followed around by a strange man (double-ditto) and touched by some dude very much against her will (diddly-ditto) can attest to how much it does NOT make a woman’s day to have to deal with this; it actually ruins it. Because the idea that one’s body is being regarded, and treated, as property by any man with the nerve to claim it, is profoundly unsettling. Don’t I belong to myself? Don’t I have a right to be left alone when every part of my body language is screaming as much?

Well, yeah. One would think so, wouldn’t one?

Funnily, I never hear men complaining of getting similar harassment from women. And really, when’s the last time you saw a construction worker, even a really super hunky one, getting hollered at by passersby in miniskirts and high heels? (Anyone? Bueller?) I’ve never seen it, never done it, and I don’t know anyone else who has, either. It never happens. Know why that is?

I’ll give you another broad hint: Women are not entitled to do that shit.

I’ve never assumed that any man, not even one near and dear to me, has ever showered, shaved, combed his hair or put on clean clothes expressly for my benefit. And if he told me he did, I would think it odd that he saw fit to emphasize the point. I did not grow up believing that they do any of that just for us. I didn’t grow up believing they HAD to. They don’t owe us anything, except (that obvious pipe dream) equality. And basic respect and consideration. And those are independent of how well-dressed and groomed a guy is. I’ve gotten them from big burly biker types, homeless guys, and dudes just as middle-class as I am. Any man can do it. It’s not rocket science, fellas.

Conversely, I’ve been harassed by all kinds of dudes. Black dudes. White dudes. Boys much younger than me. Classmates at school. Guys a few years older than me at university. Men much older than me. Blue-collar, working-class types. And yes, even men in suits. Older, well-groomed, educated white guys. Guys that, by their appearance, one would think they’d know better. Shockingly, they don’t. And the reason they don’t is that they grew up feeling perfectly entitled to do all that, and more. All straight males, regardless of age, race, religion, or class, have been taught to think they are entitled to OWN a woman, if not a very young girl. It’s never formally stated; it’s just “understood” that this is “the way things are”. It underpins every catcall that ever got yelled. It pervades society at all strata.

Once, I tried to impress upon a classmate at j-school that this was a serious issue. He was from Cyprus. He was Greek. Maybe this is some kind of cultural difference, I thought; maybe that’s why he doesn’t get it. So I explained it long, loud and clear. And he still didn’t get it. He spoke perfect, unaccented English, every bit as good as mine, even though it was a second language for both of us. It couldn’t be a language barrier, that much I knew. Maybe he just needed a more graphic example. So then I whacked him on the ass, hard enough to hurt, to show how demeaning that sort of thing is. He merely grinned over his shoulder at me. God damn him, he liked it. He probably figured I was hitting on him, who had a fiancée waiting back home. What I was trying to teach him totally backfired. He never did catch the lesson, and for all I know, he still hasn’t. Well, DUH. In the back of my mind, I knew that the playing field wasn’t really level. The entitlement wasn’t there for me. But it was for him.

And he was so entitled that he could even feel perfectly free to ignore the fact that he WAS entitled. That’s the really insane part.

Every dude, from the lowly hardhat to the bigwig in the Savile Row suit, is tacitly expected to show dominance on the sexual front. And multiple sexual fronts, at that. Long after his own hormones have begun to decline, he’s still explicitly allowed to do all sorts of things no respectable woman could even dream of getting away with. Why do I get all skeptical whenever anyone talks about “sex-positive” bullshit? Yet another broad hint: It’s the ENTITLEMENT, baby. A middle-aged or elderly woman paying for sex with handsome young men would be laughed at and pitied and held in contempt, no matter how high her social rank. A much older man doing that to pretty young women, no matter how low his social rank? Perfectly fucking normal, because he’s perfectly fucking entitled.

Same goes for older men in politics, church and state alike, policing who gets to have birth control and abortions, and who doesn’t. One would think that since it’s not their bodies, it’s not their issue. But they do think it’s their issue, because our bodies, so they think, are theirs to own and control.

Women’s bodies are treated as public property, to be displayed like objects, and pawed at random, and accorded no respect. To be born female is to put up with a lot of shit from entitled menfolks.

And it starts early.

I first became aware of it around the time I hit puberty, just before my tenth birthday. As soon as my breasts started budding — BAM! — instant sexual harassment. Just add hormones. And it had me hunching, slouching, crossing my arms, and wearing baggy, weather-inappropriate clothing for years in an effort to fend it all off. It didn’t work. It’s absolutely amazing how boobs, even ones barely bigger than a little kid’s mosquito bites, will attract unwanted attention. If a girl’s nipples poke up against her top, they will get gawked at, grabbed at, and twiddled like radio knobs. Failing that, there’s always that other, more juvenile statement of entitlement and ownership: the snapping of the bra strap. (Which, boys take note, does nothing to make a girl want you. Oh, she’ll notice you, all right, but not in a good way. Just think how you’d feel if she gave you an atomic wedgie or pantsed you in front of the entire class, and you’ll know how she feels about you doing that to her.)

And then we have the pedophiles, who also feel perfectly entitled to molest girls too young for even their first “training” bra. And who bitterly resent the fact that it’s illegal, and that there is any age of consent at all. But at the same time, they are grotesquely turned on by the fillip of doing something so illicit. Some of them are even willing to travel for the privilege of paying for what no one could even pretend was an encounter between consenting equals. I’ve never been approached by one them that I could remember, but then, maybe I was just plain lucky never to have encountered any. And when you’re too young to know what sex is, how can you even tell?

Now, of course, with the ubiquity of the Internet, one can’t get away from them. Or from guys who disingenuously argue that with the onset of puberty, a girl becomes fair game for any grotty thing a man might have in mind. (It’s worth noting that the Taliban thought Malala Yousufzai was fair game for shooting in the head because she was already pubescent.) There are all kinds of guys who, very “rationally” and “logically”, argue that if she’s old enough to bleed, she’s old enough to breed, and that the age of consent should be dropped in favor of “whenever she’s physically mature”. It doesn’t matter if she’s mentally mature or not; her job, it seems, is to be available to all comers, and to submit “willingly” to their advances. What she wants doesn’t matter. Physically developed girl = Total Slut Totally Asking For It. (It’s also worth noting that the average age for first-time prostitutes in North America is not 18 to 21, or even 16-18, it’s 11-14. Not only are girls that age considered “fair game”, they are highly profitable game. And yes, the johns know how old they are, and don’t give a damn that they can’t legally consent. They demand them that age, after all.)

The “old enough to breed” fallacy is never more glaring than in cases of precocious puberty, where girls as young as five (and some even younger!) have exhibited signs, such as breast development and menstruation, that one normally wouldn’t expect to see before age 11 or 12. Five years old is old enough for kindergarten; it is NOT old enough for sex. Never mind if she can already fill a bra. Not even if she’s getting her periods regularly. But it has been known to happen. I’ve lost count of how many such sickening instances I’ve come across. And there is nothing more jarring than seeing a five-year-old girl with adult-size breasts and a huge pregnant belly, who has no way of explaining how it happened. She hasn’t yet learned the words for all her body parts, and has no clear concept of sex, regardless of how “mature” she may outwardly appear to be. To take advantage of her, just because she looks like a miniature adult, is to ignore her right to a full, safe, unmolested childhood. (And again: How many women do you know of who have taken advantage of a precocious little boy’s accelerated puberty? Even Mary Kay Letourneau picked a kid who was of normal pubertal age and development — and if you’ve ever read her story, and know the arch-conservative circumstances of her upbringing, you’ll know just how messed up she is!)

And then again, sometimes you get wingnuts who just infantilize ALL women. Because they have to feel superior to them somehow.

No, there’s no way of getting around the sexist notion that all women, just by virtue of being female, owe something to all men. And that thing is access to their bodies. And accessibility, it seems, is signalled by conforming to the notion that we owe them “pretty”. And that we owe them “ladylike”. And that we owe them a degree of deference and respect which is merely optional when it goes the other way. And that if we don’t smile, and comply, and above all, remain silent, we’re the baddies in the whole fairytale.

We get insulted implicitly whenever we’re told “But you’d be so pretty if you only smiled!” (So, we’re ugly if we don’t? Wow, what a compliment!) We get insulted explicitly if we refuse to smile. We get flamed, insulted and harassed if we refuse to put up with shit on the Internet. Some of us get chased out of our homes by trolls for it. Some of us even get assaulted for it. We go from pretty princess to ugly hag and wicked stepmother combined. And all for just not complying.

Well, fuck that noise. I don’t owe “pretty” to complete strangers, or “ladylike” to anyone who pesters me. No woman does.

I always make a point of learning the “bad” words early in any foreign language I undertake, so that I can pull them out as needed when travelling or talking on the Internets. I can now cuss like a well-travelled sailor in at least half a dozen languages. It even stands me in good stead in my semi-professional capacity as a literary translator; it’s actually gotten me jobs, because it demonstrates full competence in the language in question. And I don’t take kindly to anyone who considers me “fair game” for sexual harassment or assault because I cuss, either.

I do not smile on command; I only smile if I feel like it. Anyone who tries to make me smile against my will, gets an exaggerated version of my resting bitchface.

If you honk your horn or throw a “nice tits” at me, expect to see a one-fingered salute, held high so everyone else can see it too.

If you harass me on the Internet and I can expose your data to hackers and police alike, I damn well will. And even if I can’t do that, I can still mock and ridicule you, and use my right to free speech against you. I hate trolls because they make the world so goddamn fucking ugly.

I don’t owe compliance to any man. I don’t owe you the time of day. And I certainly don’t owe you “pretty”.


The Gazan Ice Bucket Challenge

Palestinian journalist Ayman al-Aloul presents a new variation on the ALS fundraising gimmick. One without water, ice, or even money involved. All you have to do is live in a war zone full of pulverized wreckage, and you too can take part in…

…the Rubble Bucket Challenge.

Solidarity. Are YOU up for it?

Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Gazing on Gaza. Comments Off »

And now, for a Very Important Message…

…from a very self-righteously indignant dude:

Uh, dude? That’s not a fedora, that’s a trilby. Get your hats straight! And if you’re that irrationally angry about a silly little hat (which, I note, you’re not wearing very well either — either match it to your suit or GTFO), well…who are you to lecture anyone who makes fun of your “class, not swag” d-bag headgear?

(Also, stop with the frantic in-and-out zooming. You’re making me queasy. Pick a focus and stick to it. And for fuck’s sake, learn to hold your camera horizontally, so you don’t get those idiotic black bars down the side, rookie.)

PS: According to David Futrelle, the above video is comedy. Could have fooled me, but oh well. I was already laughing anyway.