Festive Left Friday Blogging: Rrrrrrowr.

Yes, I know…it’s been a while since I’ve felt festive on a leftist Friday. What can I say, the garden keeps me busy. Busier than usual this year, since the only thing growing great out there right now is weeds. Oh well…

Anyway. El Ecuadorable was in Brazil this week, visiting with his old pal Lula, doing the chit-chat and the grip-’n’-grin. But since the pix from that are all kind of boring, please enjoy this one instead. I posted it because it’s a great shot…


…and I love it.

Quotable: Jon Stewart on the Gaza bombings

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World Cup corrupto flees Brazilian justice


Once more, a big black eye on the World Cup, and a big facepalm for Brazil…and a headache for Interpol:

Raymond Whelan, director of the official ticket distribution site of the 2014 World Cup, Match Services/Match Hospitality, and accused of heading an illegal ticket-resales ring, is a fugitive from justice, according to the Civil Police of Rio de Janeiro.

“Teams from the 18th Police Precinct, co-ordinated by commissioner Fabio Barucke, were in the Copacabana Palace Hotel late this afternoon to carry out a judicial order to take Whelan into preventive custody. According to the commissioner, the Englishman fled the hotel and is considered a fugitive,” says a statement from the commissioner’s office.

Whelan was arrested on Monday, July 7, along with other suspects, but was released a day later on bail. Whelan was beneficiary of a writ of habeas corpus and, after paying a fine and handing over his passport to the authorities as a promise that he would not leave the country, he left the station without setting a date to make a new statement.

On the afternoon of Friday the 11th, the Rio de Janeiro judiciary received a denunciation from the prosecutor’s office and decreed prison time for 11 accused individuals who had participated in the ticket-sales ring, Whelan among them.

For that reason, they went looking for Whelan…but he had already left the hotel.

The authorities indicated that the Briton had also left his suitcases behind and exited through a door exclusively for employees, according to images captured on closed-circuit TV.

“He is considered a fugitive,” said commissioner Fabio Barucke, who confirmed that Whelan’s name is on the list of persons being sought by Interpol.

In a press release, the Briton’s attorney, Fernando Fernandes, stated that the defence had reviewed the judge’s decision to hand down a new prison sentence, and claimed that Whelan had done his part and would promise to collaborate with the investigations, but did not mention his whereabouts.

Match Hospitality is the company selected by FIFA to sell World Cup tickets in packets reserved for businesses and to provide hotel reservations for the soccer players of the different teams and the directors of the soccer organization.
The municipality closed 20 streets from midnight Saturday and reserved 1,650 agents to direct traffic; as is customary, the fans could only reach Maracaná Stadium by public transit.

According to the prosecutor general’s office, the 11 accused will answer for offences of associating to commit crimes, illegal resale, active money laundering and corruption, and fiscal evasion.

On Wednesday the 9th, Match Services rebuffed, with harsh words for the Brazilian police, all the accusations, and assured in the form of a press release that Whelan’s arrest was “arbitrary and illegal”.

Match also deemed illegal the “leaking to the media of recorded fragments of private conversations”, in which appears that they are negotiating exclusive ticket sales in the Copacabana Palace, the hotel in which FIFA maintained its “headquarters” during the World Cup.

The clandestine purchase of tickets for the final match, whose prices reached up to 12,000 euros, has become a matter of great importance in Rio; a significant portion of Argentine fans arrived in Brazil without tickets to the match.

Police operations against illegal ticket-sellers (Argentine citizens among them) during the tournament have made life difficult for resellers, who are now more vigilant against becoming entangled in “Operation Jules Rimet”, in which the police have already analyzed half of the 50,000 telephone conversations recorded with judicial authorization, between Whelan and the suspected #2 man in the plot, the Algerian businessman Lamine Fofana, who operated a network of some 30 persons.

5,000 heavily armed military police worked on the eve of the match, attentive to what might happen after the Brazil-Netherlands match in the zones most populated by Argentine fans.

One off the police’s concerns are the “barrabravas” (Argentine soccer hooligans), 53 of whom have been taken into custody and deported back to Argentina by Brazilian police. The great majority of them belonged to a list of 2,100 violent fans who were barred from entering the stadiums in their country, and which the Argentine government handed over to their Brazilian counterpart before the World Cup began, as part of a co-operation agreement for the security of the event.

Translation mine.

Riddle me this: How does a man who surrendered his passport to Brazilian police still manage to slip out of the country? Were the police really that incompetent, given the high security in general — and the value of this prisoner in particular? My guess is that Ray Whelan was prepared in advance for just such an eventuality, and had a backup — possibly fake — set of documents prepared for the occasion. Either that, or someone was bribed to look the other way. If the Brazilian police could detain and deport a record number of Argentine soccer hooligans, there’s no reason they couldn’t keep him in custody without bail, along with the other 10 accused corruptos they had. His high rank should be no excuse.

Meanwhile, we’ll just have to wait for his oily little head to pop up again somewhere. Now taking bets on where and when that will be…

Music for a Sunday: In silence and darkness…

Whenever there’s ghastly violence somewhere in the world, this great (and greatly underrated) Genesis suite comes to mind. It’s a three-part song that veers from quiet contemplation of love lost, to nightmares of tragedy, to outrage and back. Right now, I’m dedicating it to the people of Gaza, who are living the worst of human nightmares.

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Wankers of the Week: War Cup edition


Crappy weekend, everyone! How’s everyone doing in advance of tomorrow’s big game? Me, I’m not feeling it much. Too busy thinking of the current assault on Gaza, sorry. And these people, too, aren’t helping:

1. Rob Fucking Ford. No, he’s not homophobic. He has a disease! A disease that turned him into the lone person on Toronto city council to sit down during a standing ovation for World Pride, and conspicuously shitty-acting every time LGBTs are the subject of conversation. Pity him for his disease! PS: Oh surpriiiise! It looks like Robbo is not as “recovering” as he makes himself out to be. I guess being disruptive in rehab is also a disease, now?

2. Doug Fucking Ford. And of course, whenever Tweedledum manifests yet another obnoxious and antisocial aspect of his disease, there’s Tweedledee, with the broom and dustpan, covering his ass yet again. A pity that they don’t make brooms or dustpans big enough to do the job!

3. Bob Fucking Marier. Meanwhile, Robbo’s “sobriety coach” (didn’t know there was such a thing!) sounds just like Robbo himself…in short, a perfect candidate for anger management.


4. Sarah Fucking Palin. Quitbull, please leave the plucky-battered-woman act to actual plucky battered women. You are none of that.

5. Jesse Fucking Watters. OMG, there are GAY people in the Pride parade! Merciful Jesus, whatever next — women in the feminist movement? No, wait, that was last week!

6. Robin Fucking Thicke. Time to pack it in, O talentless hack. Not only is your soon-to-be-ex-wife not buying, neither are music fans!

7. Dave Fucking Daubenmire. Gotta love those “pro-life” so-called Christians. They can’t seem to see the cognitive dissonance between their pro-natalist views…and their views that gays would be better off killed because they “mislead” children. Um, no…actually, the misleaders of children are the ones who preach hatred and intolerance, and the idea that gays should be killed!


8. Theresa Fucking Santai-Gaffney. No, you do not get to say who gets married and who does not. Your job is to file the paperwork, and if you can’t do that job, then step aside for someone else who can.

9. Bob Fucking Frey. Christ, learn some science! No, sperm enzymes do NOT cause AIDS. If they did, all guys, including yourself, would have the disease already, or else a great gaping maggot-eaten hole where their testicles currently are. For the umpteenthousandth time, a VIRUS causes AIDS. And in your case, I’d say this endless obsession with gay sex has eaten a gaping, maggoty hole in your brain.

10. Nicholas Fucking Lord. So, threatening a fellow US Navy sailor with rape (allegedly while drunk) is “super awesome”? Yeah, I’m sure the brig is looking real nice this time of year. And since when is the Delayed Entry Program a “feminist page”? Since, oh, about NEVER. It’s a RECRUITMENT page, dumbfuck. And trolling is not exactly conduct becoming…

11. Larry Fucking Page. So, when machines replace us all, it’ll be just like vacation, eh? Yeah…complete with eviction and starvation! Let’s start with you and see how you like it, eh?


12. Bryan Fucking Fischer. Oh noes, rainbow wrappers on Burger King’s Whoppers! Quick, Robin, to the Chick-fil-Hatemobile!

13. Matthew Fucking Leber. If your eyesight is so poor that you can’t tell an Adidas soccer shirt apart from a prayer rug, it’s time to pack up your border patrol goon squad and slink home with tails between legs. Could you do it now, please?

14. Chris Fucking Davis. And speaking of border patrol goon squads slinking home with tails between legs, here is a prime case in point. Operation Clusterfuck…mission accomplished!

15. Kendall Fucking Jones. Christ, what is it with blond twits thinking that it’s “conservation” to kill beautiful African animals for sport this week?


16. Axelle Fucking DeSpiegelaere. Christ, what is it with blond twits thinking that it’s “conservation” to kill beautiful African animals for sport this week?

17. Mike Fucking Dickinson. Christ, what is it with sexist idiots thinking it’s okay to cyberstalk and threaten #15, even if she IS a fucking twit? Jeez, dude, be better than that!

18. Tony Fucking Abbott. So, Australia was “unsettled” before Whitey showed up, eh? Well, there’s just one thing to say to that:



19, 20, 21 and 22. Chuck Fucking Schumer, Bob Fucking Menendez, Kelly Fucking Ayotte, and Lindsey Fucking Graham. Hooray, let’s all support Israel as it embarks on its latest flimsy pretext for stealing Palestinian land and murdering Palestinian people! How fucking holy and righteous is that?

23. Moshe Fucking Feiglin. And speaking of murdering Palestinians, how about the deputy speaker of the Knesset and his oh-so-heroic desire to see Gaza Palestinian kidney patients die for lack of dialysis? Yeah, Numbers 19 through 22, this is what you’re supporting. Feel heroic yet?

24. Ayelet Fucking Shaked. And further to the above: A pretty face don’t make no pretty heart, as Robert Palmer once famously sang. This bitch is utterly ugly from the inside, and sooner or later, that’s gonna leave tracks on her face. Just give it time.

25. John Fucking Huggins. Pro tip: You say you want a revolution? Well, you know, you gotta have a popular movement behind you. Otherwise, you ain’t nothin’ but a wild-eyed cop-killing terrorist jackwagon. And, sadly, the “Don’t Tread On Me” contingent are NOT a popular movement.

And finally, to these fucking ghouls right here:


Watching the bombing of Gaza from Sderot, and applauding every time a bomb goes boom. You people represent everything that’s wrong with Israel. And of course, you’re fucking PROUD of it. Because when you’ve got nothing else, there’s always bloodlust, right?

Good night, and get fucked!

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Oh, for the love of muff…


Portrait of Ms. Ruby May, Standing, by Leena McCall. Medium: Oil on canvas.

Can you see what’s wrong with this picture? I can’t.

I hear that it was deemed “pornographic and disgusting”, which I’m sure would come as a laugh to anyone who’s actually seen disgusting pornography (and I have). I have to wonder at the delicate sensibilities of the fuddy-duddies who thought this was too much, while allowing another portrait — fully nude, but more conventionally posed — to pass. (And by “conventionally posed”, I mean with the woman model as passive object of the male gaze.)

Perhaps the problem with this is that Ms. Ruby May has what appear to be henna tattoos, draped like tendrils over her shoulders and collarbones. Perhaps it’s the fact that she’s half-dressed in turn-of-the-last-century drag. Heavens to Betsy, a woman in a vest and knickers! (And no, British readers, that’s not an undershirt and panties, that’s vest as in gentleman’s waistcoat, and knickers as in bockers.) Perhaps it’s the fact that she’s wearing a watch-chain, another masculine touch underscoring the drag sensibility of the whole. Or maybe it’s that pipe (an obvious prop, since there’s no perfumed smoke curling daintily from its bowl.)

No, no, that can’t be it. What is it, then?

Oh my gawd, her pants are undone. And what is that I see peeking out? Why, the lady has pubes! Oh noes!

As everybody knows by now, female pubes are a terrible scourge and a menace to society. They must be scraped away, torn out at the roots, and the roots killed with fire, lest they ever sprout again. As everybody knows, lady-pubes allowed to run rampant will molest little boys. And kill babies!

The only thing worse than the scourge of lady-pubes is the terrible curse of the Elderly Vagina. And if we allow women to proudly possess pubes, even if we don’t all go around showing them off as Ms. Ruby does here — why, what’s next? Will we also be proud of our nether hairs when they turn silver — or, in the case of us natural redheads, purest snowy white?

Oh, the horror. Female self-esteem! The HORROR.

No, no, we can’t have a woman proudly showing her pubes. Not even if she’s painted by Gustav Klimt himself.

Oh wait, that’s allowed. Klimt was a man! It’s quite all right for men to paint women in a sexual context. Those who did so a century ago to public outrage and opprobrium are now revered as Great Artists. But for another woman to do so, as Leena McCall has done? Dangerous! Why, just look at that thing. The woman isn’t passively subjecting herself (and her unshorn crotch) to the male gaze, but actively looking back out at us! And worse yet, she’s doing so with a challenging glint in her eye. A glint that is equal parts “hey, sailor” and “fuck you”. Or, if you want to get all stuffy about it, a look that says both come-hither and go-thither.

No, we can’t have a woman undressing us with her eyes, and perhaps contemptuously withering us with that same sexy gaze. It’s too much like she’s looking right through us, and finding us lacking. Lacking in courage for not being able to handle the sight of a set of female genitalia not artificially made to resemble those of a harmless, helpless newborn baby girl. Lacking in the wit to understand what we are seeing. Lacking in the visionary guts to realize that women can, and MUST, have sexual agency, the right to say yea or nay, I-want-you or I-want-you-not, as we will. Lacking, in short, the understanding that a woman is more than a body, and that she is not just some consumable object, but a person in her own right, and as much so as any man. She has will. She has desires. And why should she not have the explicit right to express all that?

Why doesn’t she, already?

Well, here’s why: We live in gormless times. We have never seen the virgin/whore dichotomy quite so polarized as it is today. Even the Victorian era has nothing on the present. On the one hand, we have every kind of porn, depicting every depraved thing people can do unto one another, with literally no holds barred (including the death-grip on the throat, usually of a woman). On the other, we have something ickier, creepier, more spiritually deadening, and more depraved still: purity balls, where fathers take on the role of surrogate husband to virginal girls, and pledge to “cover” them until they can pass them off, presumably while still virginal, to a suitable real husband. We have Rush Limbaugh slut-shaming Sandra Fluke because that shameless hussy dared to put in a good word for birth-control pills, between fistfuls of OxyContin and Viagra — and nary a word about himself jetting off to sex tours in the Dominican Republic, where child prostitutes are dirt cheap and nauseously easy to find. These guys are all running around with total impunity, ordering women to do as they say, not as they do. And, under protest, we let them. Be it in porn or in purity culture, women are both infantilized and objectified, passed around like bongs at a party, and above all, NEVER allowed to be sexual on their own terms. It is always at the whim of a man, whether a creepy photographer like Terry Richardson (and a creepy businessman like Dov Charney), or a porn director…or the “priesthood holder” of the house, dear ol’ dad himself.

That may be why Ms. Ruby is dressed in old-fashioned men’s clothing, but only halfway. And why the sight of her standing there with undone trousers and no perceptible shame is so “pornographic” and horrifying in this supposedly so much more open day and age — when all of us, if we are honest, will readily admit that we’ve seen a whole lot worse.

Sad meme of the day


Sadly, I was doing this, too…and I’m German! I only caught the tail end of the match, which I half-watched on the little kitchen TV while I prepared some snow peas from my garden for the freezer. I did NOT feel like celebrating when I saw the final score, either. I was really, sincerely embarrassed by what reeked of overkill. And my heart ached for the Brazilian fans, too. They were too sad to riot, and I honestly think the police could have done without all the light-flashing paddywagons outside the stadium. (Really. Do they think their own people are uncivilized? Ugh. Arrest some foreign hooligans already, you guys.)

But you know what else embarrasses me as a German? THIS.

Ray Whelan, confidant of Sepp Blatter and director of the company with the exclusive right to sell packages of World Cup tickets, spent last night in a police station, accused of heading an illegal ticket sales ring.

The director of Match Hospitality was arrested at the Copacabana Palace hotel in Rio de Janeiro, the same where all the FIFA heads are staying. This as part of a police investigation in which 11 other persons have already been detained. After paying a fine and surrendering his passport, he was let go.

Whelan, who is not an employee of FIFA, acted as the visible head of Match, a company based in Switzerland and controlled by the Mexican brothers, Jaime and Enrique Byrom. In 2007, Match paid 240 million euros to FIFA for the exclusive right to sell World Cup tickets and travel packages for the 2010 and 2014 tournaments, many of them for VIP clients.

According to police spokesman Fabio Barucke, the investigation took place without the recognition or the co-operation of FIFA. Days ago, also as part of Operation Jules Rimet, Mohamadou Lamine Fofana, executive director of Atlanta Sportif, a business which had signed an agreement with Match for the World Cup, was arrested. It appears that the Algerian businessman is one of the key players in this illegal trafficking network.

It bears recalling that in 2012, Match admitted that the sale of local concessions had already permitted it to recoup its 240 million euro investment, and that from then on, a profit margin was guaranteed. A few weeks later, FIFA renewed its contract with the Byrom brothers, who will also administrate the tickets sales for Russia in 2018 and Qatar in 2022.

The ties between FIFA and the Byroms date back to the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, even though it was not until eight years later that they began to collaborate as an official agency. One of the principal investors of Match Hospitality is Infront Sports and MEdia, whose executive director is Philippe Blatter, nephew of the FIFA president.

FIFA spokesperson Delia Fischer lamented what had happened, and assured that “anyone who commits a crime will be sanctioned, no matter who it may be.”

Her declaration came at a time when it became known that Philippe Blatter is owner of a business with a minority stake in Match Hospitality.

Several days ago, the Rio de Janeiro police arrested 39 people for illegal buying and selling of tickets around Maracaná stadium during the the quarter-final match between France and Germany.

Translation mine.

Sepp Blatter, of course, is German, as is his nephew. FIFA’s corruption is much talked about in general, and his blunders in particular. And this latest disgrace, though unrelated to today’s bloodletting on the pitch, is just terribly painful. It’s things like this that make me ashamed of even that tiny common thread I hold. The lovely, warm-hearted Brazilians deserve better than this from FIFA, after all the millions and billions of dollars that they themselves invested in the hosting of the event…and all the blood they’ve shed in making it happen.

It was 30 years ago today…

Then-US Secretary of Health, Margaret Heckler, announces the discovery of the virus that causes AIDS. Initially (mis)classified as a third member of the HTLV leukemia virus family (there were two others, both discovered by Robert Gallo), the virus later known as HIV is seen and described on TV for the first time. Also seen are clips from a few prominent AIDS deaths: Actor Rock Hudson, who kept his illness a secret until he had to seek treatment overseas; and Ryan White, an Indiana schoolboy born with hemophilia, who caught HIV from a tainted batch of Factor VIII, a coagulant made from donor blood. The clip closes with a view of the Names Project quilt, a massive tribute to the thousands who died of AIDS during the 1980s, when politicians all fiddled while victims — mostly gay men, but with a fast growing contingent of women and children — burned.

One can’t help wondering what would have happened if AIDS had been transmitted like flu — not sexually, not by blood contact, but simply through casual transmission, via the airborne route. I have no doubt that we’d be seeing a working vaccine for it now, instead of the continued foot-dragging that has characterized political response to the disease from the moment it first appeared on the public-health radar.

Music for a Sunday: Running away and chasing skylines

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Wankers of the Week: Get your Hobby out of my Lobby, GODDAMMIT!


Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, how about that Hobby Lobby decision at the SCOTUS? Talk about a totally hypocritical, sexist fuckery. I would, but I don’t have all night, because all these other people need talking about, too:

1. Adam Fucking Richman. So, to recap: “Thinspo” bad, browbeating your critics worse, and getting your crappy show yanked for being such a colossal bag of dicks…PRICELESS. Ha, ha.

2. Justin Fucking Mateen. Ever wonder if casual hookups are really worth it…or why I’m convinced that they’re not, especially if you’re female? Here you go, one definitely lousy lay — projecting like mad. Please enjoy a decontamination shower afterwards, courtesy of the house.

3. Charles Fucking Saatchi. When your money-grubbing chutzpah trumps everything, including taste, good sense and your lawyer’s advice to keep a low profile until the dust settles on your insta-divorce, I’d say you’ve more than earned your listing here.

4. Richard Fucking Benyon. Why?


That’s why. He doesn’t need to fuck working poor people over, but he CAN, so he does. That is the very definition of class warfare…and a fucking wanker.

5. Noah Fucking Berlatsky. Orange is the New Black is a show about a women’s prison. You know, a place where female prisoners are housed? Well, this intrepid soul is wondering why so few men on that show. Maybe because men have no place in a female penitentiary? Maybe because all the other shows out there are dominated by them? Maybe because there’s already BEEN a male prison show (or several)? It’s hardly as if dudes are underrepresented on TV, seeing as they practically own the whole industry. Do they have to take over the only show about female jail, too?

6. George Fucking Will. Wow. Just when I thought I couldn’t despise this irrelevant weenie any more than I already did, along come revelations that prove that there is, indeed, no bottom to his barrel of asininity and shitweaseldom. Turns out that the woman he disparaged for not having risen to his proper standard for legitimate assault victimhood was, in fact, much more violently attacked than the article he cited made her out to be. I don’t suppose we’ll be hearing any apologies, though…just more inane justifications for how he is the sole arbiter for what rape actually means and how victimhood is really somehow coveted. Along with PTSD, slut shaming, death threats, and all the other lovely shit that goes along with it, of course.

7. Jesse Fucking Watters. Yeah, patronizing the ladies is a GREAT way to fight the War on Women. It’s also a great way of proving their point…that you right-wing males are all sexist and stupid as hell. Thanks for showing us why we STILL need feminism, dude!


8. Paul Fucking Broun. Where in the bible does it say that guns are an absolute, god-given right? Chapter and verse: NOWHERE. He made that shit up. Jesus doesn’t like it when you lie, Paul!

9. Charles Fucking Murray. So, liberals good, progressives bad? Somebody doesn’t understand the meaning of words. Methinks he was born lazy and stupid. BTW, Chuck, I’m your worst fear: I’m a socialist, and I’m dead smart, too. Boogaboogabooga!

10. John Fucking Nienstedt. Looks like all the little pink skeletons doing the Watusi in his closet decided to form a chorus line and kick the fucking door down. Just as we all knew they would. Ha, ha.

11. Nicolas Fucking Sarkozy. Honestly, the only thing shocking about this one is that it’s taken them this long to lay just one measly, minor charge. There are so many more things he needs to go down for, and this is the very least of them.


12. Sudin Fucking Dhavalikar. As usual, everything women wear gets blamed for them being raped. And just when can we expect MEN to get blamed for not keeping their hands — and DICKS — to themselves?

13. Heather Fucking Rodriguez. Happy Birthday, sis! Look, I got you that bag of meth you always wanted!

14. Barbara Fucking Kay. Oh look, Babs is wanking again…in front of a roomful of pathetic MRAs, no less. She must really be desperate for male attention!

15. Rob Fucking Ford. Racism is not a disease, just as stupidity is not a disability. And if your drinking brings it out, just remember: In vina, in ira, in pueritas, semper est veritas. It’s not the alcohol that’s doing it; it’s just you, minus the normal restraints.


16. Doug Fucking Ford. And wherever Tweedledum wanks, Tweedledee is right behind, running interference (ineptly) for Bumblefuck. As usual. And just as racism is not a disability, so people’s antipathy to drunken stupidity is not racism. You know that; I know that. Dougie, alas, does not. PS: And speaking of things Dougie doesn’t know, add the meaning of the word “jihad”.

17. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. Once more, with feeling: Birth control pills are NOT taken before every time you have sex. You take just one a day. Stop confusing our contraception with your Viagra that you took along on a child-sex tour in the DR, Rusty!

18. James Fucking Wertz. Oh yeah, Florida Man, you big macho. You show that fluffy widdle bunny what a man’s world it is! And don’t bother wondering why your girlfriend dumped your sorry ass for abusing her pet, either.

19. Janine Fucking McCune. No, Florida Woman dear, you’re not a Moor. You’re a dumbass who childishly thinks she can buck a traffic ticket with bullshit. Just like all the other sovereign shittizen weirdos out there.


20. Charles Fucking Tapp. And once more, ladies and gents, Florida Man…showing off his meth-cooking skills right out on the beach for your tweakin’ pleasure. Give it up for the Wang State and its unbeatable knack for producing real wieners…er, winners!

21. Scott Fucking Lively. You know, it’s really not a good idea to challenge John Oliver to a debate. For one thing, he just might take you up on that. For another, he would win.

22. Stephen Fucking Harper. Yes, yes, we get it, ShitHead. You’re a God-botherer. Now stop bothering God and get the fuck out of power, you sanctimonious turd.

23. Anthony Fucking Cumia. Time to pull the plug on all shock jocks…and what better one to start with than this sexist, racist swinebag? I hope the woman he attacked comes forward and sues his ass. PS: Plug pulled. Ha, ha.


24. William Fucking Walters, again. Speaking of racist, we can file the Klueless Kluker under “unclear on the concept”. How does one manage to have a black best friend, as he claims to do, and still be a racist and a separatist? Oh, I see…he’s “promoting white heritage”. Yeah, like THAT needs promoting.

25. Gerry Fucking Shalam. No, your dad doesn’t own half of fucking Manhattan. And in his shoes, I would ground your ass.

26. Bristol Fucking Palin. I got your #HobbyLobbyLove right here, airhead…in the form of a permanent boycott and lotsa ridicule. Ha, ha.

27. Jeremy Fucking Walters. Well, dude, I’ll give you this: You are, indeed, an asshole. And now you’re going to be cooling your ass in jail. Ha, ha.


28. Laura Fucking Ingraham. When even Billo thinks you’re unhinged, that really ought to tell you something.

29. Roy Fucking McCool. And speaking of unhinged: “Preppers” aren’t actually readying themselves for doomsday; they ARE doomsday. Or at the very least, they are actively trying to bring it on.

30. Joshua Fucking Finch. How the hell does one build a bomb without “trying to hurt anyone”? Unless you were planning it so that everyone hit by it would die instantly, dude, that just doesn’t make any fucking sense.

31. Gordon Fucking Klingenschmitt. Is that a bleat of desperation I hear coming from John Jacob Jingleheimer? Sure sounds like it. What a pity he’s not Jesus, eh?


32. Joan Fucking Rivers. Uh-oh, is someone sensitive? And projecting like mad? Sure sounds like it. Diddums!

33. John Fucking Suthers. You can stand athwart history yelling “STOP” all you like, but in the end, that big ol’ steamroller is just gonna roll right over you. Ha, ha.

34. Linda Fucking Harvey. Oh noes, gay soldiers and scouts exist! And they dared to march in Pride parades! How dare they be out and proud, instead of cowering in the closet between the dustbunnies and the mothballs?

35. Anquinette Fucking Jones. No, sorry, Satan has nothing to do with evolution. That’s how God works. Did you not learn that in biology class before you began to teach it?

And finally, to these vile Israeli tweeters, and everyone else of that ilk:


They’re celebrating a LYNCHING. How does that make them any better than these people?


Spoiler: It doesn’t. It makes them exactly the same, actually. And just as goddamn fucking NAUSEATING.

Good night, and get fucked!

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