Music for a Sunday: Rags and feathers from Salvation Army counters

Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to finally google for this song/interpretation. Everyone and their grandma’s dog seems to have covered Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, but this one, less covered, means more to me because it’s been living inside my head since I first read Robert McKay’s YA novel, Dave’s Song, at 14. McKay uses snippets of the lyrics as chapter headers as he delves into the heads of two teenagers in the late 1960s, but he scrambles the order a bit to better fit his story. He specifically mentions Noel Harrison’s version, but also another cover: Judy Collins. Who, of course, also does it tremendous justice:

The book is, incidentally, STILL one of my all-time faves.

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Wankers of the Week: Here come the indictments!

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Crappy weekend, everyone! Is it too early to start humming “Here Comes Santa Claus”? Maybe. But I’m doing it just the same, because it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Or the winter of somebody else’s discontent. A veritable blizzard of indictments and wank is coming. And look! Here comes a flurry of snowflakes now, in no particular order…

1. Roger Fucking Stone. Seems like it took forever and a day for him to finally get his saggy, wrinkled ass booted off the tweeter, but at long last, it’s happened. And it couldn’t happen to a nicer foul-mouthed abusive prick, either.

2. Ryan Fucking Zinke. The corruption is so bad, we can smell it all the way from Puerto Rico. But yeah, it’s the media that’s crooked and dishonest, when all they do is report on it.

3. Kevin Fucking Spacey. For years, he’d sue any tabloid that accused him of being gay. OR of inappropriateness with age-inappropriate young guys. Now he comes out…but only to excuse the fact that he climbed all over a 14-year-old. Dude, stop. You’re not helping with the separation of gay from kiddie-diddler. At ALL. PS: Oh shit, there are more? Ugh. Ugh. All the UGH.

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4. John Fucking Kelly. Don’t worry, my good shitmuffin, Bob Mueller’s only getting started. And when your boss goes down — and he WILL — you’re going with him. The only things yet to be determined are the number and type of charges you’ll face.

5. Nigel Fucking Farage. And because this guy is one of Donnie’s most conspicuously clingy ass-barnacles, HE’s gonna go down with him, too. Ha, ha! PS: Well, well. Look who’s an antisemite! I wish I could say I was surprised, but I’m not in the slightest.

6. Rupert Fucking Murdoch. And speaking of Donnie’s ass-barnacles, how about him? Yeah, tell me he’s not directly ordering the content of the crapaganda to distract from Donnie’s illicit shenanigans and all the strangely convenient boosts he got from Russia. And tell me too that ol’ Rupee isn’t directly invested, quite literally, in dirty business dealings too. At the end of the day, it’s all about the moolah with them. ALL OF THEM.

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7. Pat Fucking Robertson. And of course, Patwa has a brilliant idea. One that would only make Donnie’s impeachment imperative. Gee, maybe God IS speaking through him after all…and She clearly has a wicked sense of humor.

8. Gayle Fucking Trotter. Meanwhile, in another dark and cobwebby corner of the Religious Reich, a different whackjob thinks Robert Mueller should be fired…for DOING his job.

9. Teresa Fucking Giudice. I don’t know who the hell you are either, lady. And my parents are immigrants too, as were yours (if your distinctly non-indigenous surname is anything to go by). Also, nobody owes you “nice”. So suck on that.

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10. Michael Fucking Caputo. How does someone over 30 go from being a foreign policy advisor to just a “coffee boy”? Oh, simple: He sings to the feds like a nightingale!

11. Mike Fucking Cernovich. How humiliating is it when an entire school goes antifa just to get you the fuck off their campus? I’d suggest you ask Juicebro, but I’m pretty sure he’s not showing his pizza face to anyone anywhere right now. PS: And if you have to plant fake NAMBLA “protesters” to throw people off your Nazi scent, you just KNOW you stink. PPS: Nice “fake news” tweet at the end, Juicebro.

12. Brianna Fucking Brochu. Attention, everyone. We have now reached peak White Nonsense…at least, outside of actual tiki-torch parades and statue-based lynchings. Y’all don’t come back now, y’hear?

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13. Donald Fucking Drumpf, Jr. If you thought superior brains ran in that family, let Diaper Don himself disabuse you (and his boastful old man) of that notion. He’s dumber than a fourth-grader. And dear ol’ Dad makes boxes of rocks look downright bright. PS: This isn’t exactly helping any, either.

14. Stephen Fucking Harper. Like the bad penny he is, Harpo just keeps coming back…and leaving stinky green stains all over everybody’s hands. Ewwwwww.

15. Laura Fucking Loomer. Hey! How’s it feel to know you’re obnoxious, fanatical and shitty enough to be banned from using an entire fucking car service? At this rate, you’ll be lucky if a little kid gives you a lift on his tricycle. Ha, ha.

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16. Corey Fucking Lewandowski. Why didn’t the FBI warn Donnie about Paul Fucking Manafort? Simple: Because it’s not their job to vet his campaign managers — it’s HIS.

17. John Fucking Schnatter. Hey bozo, maybe spend less time slagging women, Obamacare, LGBT people and blacks, and more time making an actual quality pizza, and maybe you wouldn’t have to worry and kvetch so much about lost fortunes, eh?

18. Tomi Fucking Lahren. Maybe next Halloween, try not desecrating a flag to make your stupid costume, eh?

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19. Frank Fucking Nucera, Jr. Surprise! Being a top cop doesn’t give you a Get Out of Jail Free card when it comes to murderous racist utterances. What it WILL get you is a metric shit-tonne of criminal charges, all well earned.

20. Paul Fucking Manafort. Dude. You are so NOT James Bond. You really shouldn’t use any reference to him as your password, not even ironically.

21. Sebastian Fucking Gorka. Why?

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Dude, you are neither brilliant nor important enough for that ridiculous vanity plate. Also, LEARN HOW TO PARK, YOU FUCKING JACKASS.

22. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Oh look, there goes your funding. And Bitefart’s, too! Looks like the Mercers are too embarrassed to keep financing your drinking habits. Ha, ha.

23. Ralph Fucking Northam. Yeah, why SHOULD undocumented immigrants and refugees be given sanctuary? Why, next thing you know, they’ll demand to be treated as human, too! Can’t have that, can we?

24. Steve Fucking Reick. Thanks for basically admitting that you’re a sexual harasser who doesn’t want to change, because MASCULINITY. Next stop for you: the political toilet.

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25. Ezra Fucking Levant. No credentials for YOU! Ha, ha. Now, if only everyone would do what the UN just did. Ezzy the Putz would finally be relegated to “reporting” on the Podunk Sons of Odin’s two-man tea dance, and the “alt”-right would finally implode up here.

26. Cherith Fucking Telford. Instead of telling schoolgirls to wear longer skirts to “create a good work environment” for male staff and “stop boys from getting ideas”, how about hiring men who don’t look at teenage girls (who are, incidentally, too young to consent) as sex objects? Or better still, how about just telling the boys and men alike to keep their eyes on their work and their hands to themselves? Or just making pants the school uniform across the board, and leaving skirts out of it altogether? Too obvious, I guess. No, better just slut-shame a bunch of girls who probably haven’t even kissed anyone yet.

27. Carter Fucking Page. Welp, I know one Drumpfite who’s about to go to the big house for obstruction of justice, because the famous Fifth does NOT provide for covering your boss’s ass, only your own. I just wonder how many more of these obscene seppuku performances we’re going to have to sit through before Donnie is impeached.

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28. Jeff Fucking Sessions. Meanwhile, we have Beauregard here…who lied numerous times under oath. No doubt with a mouthful of marbles, too. Pretty sure that the Fifth doesn’t cover that either. Nor does the First.

29. Nabih Fucking al-Wahsh. If sexually harassing and raping women in distressed jeans is a “national, patriotic duty”, as this so-called lawyer says, then it’s only fair that castrating men who do so — with one’s own bare hands, if need be — is an international act of humanitarianism! And stop, stop, STOP with this fucking “girls must respect themselves” shit. We already do respect ourselves, no matter what we wear. It is not our job to try to make others do it with clothing alone; it is THEIR job to do what we are doing already. Srsly, dude, #26 and you really do both need to put on the dunce cap and go sit in the same damn corner.

30. Rick Fucking Perry. You can always rely on Crotch Goodhair to come up with some truly inane and cockamamie connection between things that have no connection whatsoever, and as usual, he doesn’t disappoint. This week, it was how fossil fuels and “righteousness” can prevent sexual assault. Only, of course, they fucking can’t.

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And finally, to the fucking “alt”-right morons who think there’s going to be some major antifa coup tomorrow. I dunno about you, but THIS antifa plans nothing more strenuous for this weekend than attending a cousin-in-law’s baby shower. Dudes, maybe quit tweaking so damn much. And more to the point: QUIT FOMENTING TREASON ON YOUR OWN DAMN SOIL. Christ, for people who chant so much about blood and soil, you sure have a strange idea of loyalty. And it’s gonna land you on the wrong side of history so fast that you’re going to wonder what hit you. It’s called KARMA, you little shits, and it’s a motherfucker…and a bigger one than all of your sorry asses combined.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Quotable: Bernie Sanders on Canadian healthcare

Bernie shows off just how much he knows about history and medicare…and how much the US has forgotten in its “MAGA” decline. Shame on Donnie and his minions.

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Whitefish Energy: Puerto Rico says ¡NO!

David Pakman updates the Whitefish Energy scandal and makes a larger point: Donnie Drumpf & Co. hate the “fake news” media not only because they do, in fact, report real news, but also because the news they report shames them into doing the right thing.

And they would have gotten away with it, too, if not for those pesky kids!

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Down goes Manafort!

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him:

Down goes Manafort! Down goes Manafort!

And it’s not just Paul Manafort who’s been indicted today; his associate Rick Gates is also indicted, and on the same twelve charges. And there’s a huge, complicated web here to unravel, with ties to the Russian mafia, among others:

We already know that Donnie is mobbed up, and by mafiosi from more than one country, at that. Some of them are cronies of his, with memberships at Mar-a-Lago. Domestic mafiosi. Chinese oligarchs. So who’s to say he wouldn’t buddy up with the Russkies? Remember, he was already doing business with them in 2013, when he parachuted the Miss Universe pageant into Russia. He has, in fact, been doing so since 1987…yes, that’s right, two years before the fall of the Berlin Wall. Back then, there was still a Cold War on, but Donnie was already angling for big rubles, because dollars alone weren’t enough for him. There is literally no depth he will not sink to in his quest for cash.

Meanwhile, here’s how FUX Snooze “covered” (cough cough) the story:

That’s right, they tried to make a literal nothingburger out of it — by fixating on the cheeseburger emoji non-story. And the Hillary Clinton non-story.

Don’t bother asking them for the special sauce, folks, it’s nothing but pure bullshit.

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Posted in Banksters, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't That Illegal?, Mobsters, Teh Russkies, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Down goes Manafort!

Music for a Sunday: Ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Can’t imagine anyone ridiculing Adam Ant, ever. He was truly the beau of every ball!

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Wankers of the Week: A grab bag of grody

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Crappy weekend, everyone! And crappy almost-Halloween! Pro tip for all you trick-or-treaters out there: Do NOT go to the White House this year, because their “treats”…are TRICKS. And nasty tricks at that, like putting your hand in a punchbowl and pulling out a freshly laid turd. Like these little shits, in no particular order:

1. Richard Fucking Spencer. Oh gee, Dowdy Dickie’s security team turns out to be a gang of actual, piss-yellow Nazi terrorists! What were the odds? Oh, only about 100%.

2. Anthony Fucking Miskulin. How do you #MAGA? Well, this guy apparently thinks that harassing lesbian couples about hell is a perfect way to do it. Either that, or he’s looking for a two-girl threesome, and not having any luck at it.

3. Harvey Fucking Weinstein. Of all the women he sexually molested over the years, who does he talk back to when she goes public with her story? Yeah, that’s right, he picked on the black one. No, dude, you’re not a bit racist!

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4. Tom Fucking Keevers. So, dude, which is it: You didn’t write that awful death threat against congresswoman Frederica Wilson, or you did, but it was a joke? Either way, your excuse is shit. Remember, it doesn’t matter if you hump a goat in jest. You are still a goat-humper. And a racist one, at that.

5. Bill O’Fucking Reilly. Never mind that there are actual recordings of him actually harassing women. Never mind that he’s been successfully sued (and divorced) over them. No, Billo thinks it was all a “hit job”. Yeah, Billo, it totally was. It was you, hitting on women who were only trying to do their job! PS: And leave God the fuck out of it, wankstain.

6. Alex Fucking Jones. Shhhh, don’t anyone tell him this, but the JFK files were due to be declassified this year, no matter who was president. And neither he nor Donnie can take credit for any of it.

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7. Sarah Fucking Huckabee Fucking Sanders. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how much audacity it takes for the likes of her to say words like “cheap” and “taint” about the media with a straight face in Donnie’s Dirty White House.

8. Carl Fucking Gallups. Women are “sexually assaulting” men…by wearing clothes? I bet this guy also thinks he’s somehow superior to all those Muslims because he hasn’t forced one into a burqa. How fucking noble he is…NOT. Dude, if you can’t control your horniness or put it into a healthy perspective (i.e. REALIZE THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO ACT ON IT), then do what the good book says and cut off the offending part(s) of you. Problem solved!

9. Jason Fucking Kenney. Don’t have any valid selling points for your own politics and ideology? Then just go around casually calling other people (including the very centrist Alberta NDP) communists. Hey, it’s worked since the Cold War, so why not now? Never mind that actual communism is gaining ground faster than you ever will, either!

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10. Rick Fucking Wiles. Yes, you are in a fascist police state. But it’s not one run by queers…it’s one run by sick, perverted, decidedly straight guys in suits. And you’re one of the Gestapo. So you don’t get to toss those words around. Sit down and shut up.

11. George Fucking Herbert-Herbert Fucking Bush. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how fucked up it is that this old dirty bastard is still alive. And that he thinks butt-grabbing young actresses while saying gross things to them is somehow supposed to be funny. Special brownie points to Babs for rolling her eyes but not slapping the shit out of his diaper-clad ass. And to Herbert-Herbert’s aide for the conditional nopology.

12. Scott Fucking Adams. Why?

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That’s why. Funny, but Colin Kaepernick doesn’t seem to be submitting to anyone yet, and he’s still taking a knee. Also, I dare Snotty Scotty to say this to the biggest, toughest Marine he sees taking a knee at a patriotic rally.

13. Jason Fucking Cooke. If you thought Florida Man was bad, trust and believe that Florida Cop is much, MUCH worse. How much worse? Robbing an elderly hurricane victim who later died of injuries sustained in a fall. Motherfucker, why couldn’t you just do bath salts and try to eat somebody else’s face off like all the rest of ‘em?

14. Gerry Fucking Ritz. As with #9, and once more, with feeling: If you have nothing of worth to offer the voters, just line up with the Nazis. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

15. Scott Fucking Brown. Diplomacy? What’s THAT? Oh, surely not anything he would know about, as he’s only Donnie Drumpf’s ambassador to New Zealand, after all.

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16. Jean-Paul Fucking Braun. What the fuck does a rape victim’s appearance have to do with anything? NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. Jesus.

17. Bill Fucking Handel. I know, you never heard of this cheesy, self-righteous garbage person till now. Me neither. And with any luck, neither of us will ever hear anything of, from, or out of him…ever again.

18. Steve Fucking King. And speaking of cheesy, self-righteous garbage people, this one just did it again. This time, with a bill to effectively ban all abortions. One that will probably not survive the test of practice, but then again…who ever wants to see it get that far?

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19. William La Fucking Fortune. How do you solve a problem like racist cops killing black people in a moment of so-called panic? Simple…sweep it under the rug with the hem of your judicial robe.

20. Stephen Fucking Strang. Donnie Drumpf, a “miracle”? Yeah, I believe in “miracles”…especially the kind achieved by electoral fraud.

21. Steve Fucking Bannon. Yeah, sure, dude, we believe you’re not a white supremacist. You only cut ties to Vilo Yeah-Nope because he became too much of an obvious embarrassment to you. But the truth is, you knew what he was all along…and your e-mails show that you were only too happy to work with him while he was flying below the public’s antifascist radar.

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22. Steve Fucking Doocy. When your bullshit gets called out even on FUX Snooze, it’s time to hang it up and go home.

23. Carla Fucking Bruni. There’s no sexual abuse in fashion? Lady, what drugs are you on? The industry has ALWAYS been lousy with it. Every place where women have to work under the eyes of men has always been lousy with it!

24. Margaret Fucking Wente. Oh look, it’s yet another tiresome iteration of #NotAllMen, from that most tiresome of iterators of clichéd right-wing bullshit. I would ask why she still has a job at the Grope and Flail when two other, and arguably somewhat better, female columnists have gotten the heave-ho, but that would then entail having to ask whom she did sexual favors for in order to get and keep that plummy job. Because let’s face it, her competence as a writer and thinker cannot possibly be what landed her where she still remains, after all this time and despite all the plagiarism she’s had exposed.

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25. Andrew Fucking Anglin. Hiding in Nigeria, are we? Well, say hi to that prince from there. You know, the one who keeps spamming me with offers of millions in direct deposits to my bank account.

26. Robert Fucking Scoble. Anyone surprised that an aggressive proponent of Google camera-glasses turns out to be aggressive in, er, OTHER areas, as well as just generally aggressively clueless? No? Well, all righty then.

27. Chrystia Fucking Freeland. Um, Chryssie? A colony IS what an imperialist oppressor looks like. That’s how they planted their permanent bastions of British white supremacy over here. Did you sleep through history class, or are you just trying to sweep something under the rug again, like you keep doing with your Nazi granddaddy?

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28. Steven Fucking Errante. Because Florida doesn’t have a monopoly on Florida Men, here’s one from Lawn Guyland…and he’s a dog-abusing horse molester.

29. Jessica Fucking Sanders. Yeah, sure, you’re not racist because you have X number of black folks in your life. And at the rate you can drop those N-bombs, you’ll be seeing a lot of them LEAVING your life.

30. Bob Fucking McNair. Excuse me, what was that you said? That NFL players are prisoners and your team is the jail? Uh-huh. That explains a lot now, doesn’t it.

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And finally, to the Fucking London Torygraph. Not only did they print fake news, they even posted an image of the black student who allegedly (not actually, just ALLEGEDLY) demanded that all white authors be removed from the curriculum. Except that she demanded no such thing, only an addition of post-colonial writings to the curriculum. Not only does this call the entire newspaper into question as a publication of record, it actually shoves it straight into GamerGate troll territory. The falsely accused woman is probably fielding death threats and crank calls and stalkers outside her residence already. I’d say all this shocks me, but it doesn’t even surprise me. When you’re actively invested in white male supremacy, you’ll work to maintain that at all costs…even the life and well-being of a falsely accused young black woman. And you won’t even bat an eye. For a publication that once claimed to stand against fascism, they suddenly sound an awful lot like Oswald Fucking Mosley.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Campus ‘wingers “protest” safe spaces…with an own goal

Funny how it’s the people who’ve had their safe space for the longest time (white, right-wing, male, presumably straight and cisgendered) are now kvetching that others might suddenly have a right to their own, where these latter-day Columbuses are getting “excluded”. Funnier still how they’re doing it dressed as big babies in diapers, which is all too literally just what they are. And funniest of all, their own organization is dissociating from them on the grounds of Epic Fail. The only thing this is triggering in me…is an unholy urge to laugh my ass off. Please, Freeze Peach Nazis, GamerGomers, etc….continue to humiliate yourselves like this! It saves me having to do it for you.

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Posted in Bullies, Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Fine Young Cannibals, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, Men Who Just Don't Get It, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Campus ‘wingers “protest” safe spaces…with an own goal

Music for a Sunday: One for the bastards of Hollywood and Washington

Just a word of fair warning to the Harvey Weinsteins and Donnie Drumpfs of the world.

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Wankers of the Week: Ding dong, Donnie is doomed

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Crappy weekend, everyone! And an especially crappy one to Donnie, not that he needs to be wished it; he’s probably just glad that it’s over. We’ll be gladder when HE’s over. And here’s who else I wouldn’t mind seeing the last of, in no particular order:

1. Woody Fucking Allen. Oh my fucking gawd, just shut the fuck UP, you creepy, creepy little shit! No, really…SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Literally everything you have to say about sexual harassment and molestation is nothing but an indictment of Y-O-U.

2. Michele Fucking Bachmann. Oh my fucking gawd, she can just shut the fuck up too. If Donnie is a man of faith, why do we never see him praying? Or darkening the doors of a church? Or doing anything except cracking unfunny jokes about how LGBT+ people would all hang if Mikey Pence had his way? Which is, honestly, ungodly as hell.

3. Mike Fucking Huckabee. Oh my fucking gawd, Hucky Fudd…YOU too can shut the fuck up. If you can’t remember something that’s been all over the media since before the election, you are too senile and demented to be in front of a camera anymore.

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4. Lars von Fucking Trier. Yeah, why hasn’t Björk appeared in any movies since that one (and only one!) she’s been in? Couldn’t be because she was working under a creepy molesty director too, could it? Nahhhhh. He even says so himself! Who you gonna believe, him or that lying bitch?

5. Richard Fucking Spencer. Oh looky, Dowdy Dickie has some ideas on women and voting. Hey Dick? I hope the next time someone punches you, it’s a woman…and she goes for your balls. PS: Ha, ha! I always did like my antifascism with a nice local microbrew…

6. Jim Fucking Bakker. If God’s gonna cut me down for mocking Jimmeh, She’d best get on with it. I haven’t got time for any more Great Disappointments.

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7. Steve Fucking Scalise. The Founding Fathers “envisioned” massacres enabled by bump-stocks and the NRA? Really? Suddenly, I wish the dickweed who shot this dickweed had had better aim. And just what was that dickweed — or the one who shot all those people in Vegas — “protecting” himself FROM? No, Stevie, this isn’t about self-defence. Or freedom. It’s a vast protection racket. And guess what mafia is behind it.

8. Mayim Fucking Bialik. You call yourself a feminist and then you turn around and prescribe “modesty” as a means to avoid sexual harassment and assault? When women have been complaining forever that they still get hit on, even when dressed in shapeless sacks from neck to toe? SHAME. ON. YOU.

9. John Fucking Nolte. Because everything that goes on between peen and poon is somehow related to “status” in the sexist world of Bitefart, we get this guy, calling our denunciations of harassment and assault a “status symbol”. If you have lost the ability to even, just hashtag it #MeToo and tweet it at this motherfucker.

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10. Anthony Fucking Scaramucci. Thought you’d seen the last of him, had you? Well, you haven’t. And thanks to the fact that his “news” outlet is blatantly antisemitic, you won’t be hearing the end of it (or its stupidly conditional nopologies) anytime soon, either.

11. Ivanka Fucking Drumpf. Kurt Cobain killed himself just so she could opine idiotically upon him and his music and the fashions of the grunge era, it seemed. Good thing he’s no longer here to hear that, or he’d off himself all over again, because she’s the epitome of the vapidity he railed against for most of his 27 years.

12. Alex Fucking Jones. Folks, the rumors are true. Or at least your suspicions might be, if you ever suspected that our favorite snake-oil peddler and tinfoil haberdasher likes to munch on old lead paint chips when no one’s looking. Because yeah, his super-duper-double-looper “supplements” are tainted with enough heavy metals to impede the growth of a child AND the functioning of an adult brain. And there’s no amount of tinfoil that can shield a vulnerable brain from THAT kind of damage. PS: Ha, ha. Bring on the drag queens, I love it!

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13. Sarah Fucking Huckabee Fucking Sanders. Why the double fucking? Because that’s how much a chip off the shitty old block she is. Her dad is a total stooge, and so is she. And neither one of them is even good at it!

14. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Oh, DENIED! Drunken, coked-out racist meltdown in 3…2…1… PS: Enjoy your honeymoon, sweetcakes, because your tacky behind-the-scenes scheming is now common knowledge. Ha, ha.

15. Jeff Fucking Sessions. So, just to recap: The Evil Keebler Elf is saying he intends to jail reporters. Presumbably for reporting, and accurately, on all the shitty skulduggery he and Donnie are up to. In short, he’s a First Amendment violator, as is his boss. Good to know…good to know.

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16. Diane Fucking Black. She claims to have been an emergency room nurse, but ever since trading in her scrubs for a legislator’s seat, she’s been all about just letting poor folks die. And the most ironic thing is, she’s opposed to a law signed into effect by none other than St. Ronald Reagan, patron of bad economics.

17. Tony Fucking Perkins. No, dumbass, LGBT+ people in the military are not causing straight men to molest women. Those guys don’t need any help from anyone else, fuckyouverymuch.

18. Ted Fucking Cruz. Why?

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That’s why. If you don’t want to go down in the ledger as a fucking hypocrite, the least you could do is tell the NRA to stop investing so much blood money in you.

19. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. WHAT fucking “haters” and “people of privilege” are trying to score political points here? Oh yeah…she and Donnie. Who the hell else? And as usual, they’re projecting like mad.

20. Paul Fucking Walsh. Well, well, looks like all the people who called the “Alt”-right a bunch of failed LARPers were more correct than they knew. Because whaddya know, here is an actual failed LARPer now, and guess who he’s also with?

21. Tracy Fucking Keen. Meanwhile, in Florida, the cleanup continues apace…punctuated by occasional racist outbursts, such as those emitted by THIS fucking moron. Who, be it noted, is NOT with any clean-up crew, but saw fit to insult them instead.

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22. Cameron Fucking Padgett. Shorter: WAAAAAAA! Mommy, the beer company was mean to me when I tried to defraud them! Whatsamatter, little Nazi boy…did someone take away your brewski? Ha, ha.

23. Sandy Fucking Rios. Can’t invent a conspiracy theory to save your sorry ass? Then just pull something out of it at random, and tack the name of George Soros onto it. Done!

24. David Fucking Cross. And once more, some fucking asshole proves to the world that even if you hump a goat in jest, you are still a goat-humper. And the goat will not find you funny, either.

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25. John Fucking Kelly. Pro tip, General: When you’re doing your damnedest to cover your boss’s ass, be careful not to show your own. And try not to soil yourself in public, eh?

26. John Fucking Garofalo. Meanwhile, in other news of men who disgrace their uniforms, we have this fake US Navy SEAL. Who was briefly in the navy, but never a SEAL. And finally exposed, fittingly, by the navy’s own newspaper. How embarrassing! But not nearly as embarrassing as his blind, idiotic worship of Donnie Fucking Drumpf, who never served, period.

27. Nick Fucking Kouvalis. Just like a bad penny, he keeps turning up: for Rob Fucking Ford (RIP), Kellie Fucking Leitch…and now, as a crapaganda operative for Christy Fucking Clark in BC. Gee, what were the odds?

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28. Kathleen Fucking Hartnett Fucking White. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how dumb you have to be to believe that carbon dioxide is “the gas of life on this planet” (only for plants, honey) and that established climate science is “paganism for the secular elites”. And of course, that’s also how dumb Donnie is for appointing this moron.

29. Jack Fucking Kingston. No, shithead, Donnie’s not mean because of where he’s from. It’s because of WHAT he’s from. He’s mean because all his life, he’s been allowed to be…as a son of white privilege and wealth.

30. Bill Fucking Morneau. Newsflash, Bill: You’re a public servant. You answer to the public. And journalists, lest you forget, are doing the asking on the public’s behalf, so you answer to THEM, too, whether you like it or not. Now get off your high horse and come clean.

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And finally, to all the fucking nimrods who still think there’s any point in “debating” fascists. What the hell for? They want people dead, and the three who were just arrested outside of Dowdy Dick Fucking Spencer’s little Freeze Peach shindig are all the proof we need that speech is not the issue — DEEDS are. And their deeds are frankly genocidal and murderous. Just like those of the ORIGINAL fascists.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off on Wankers of the Week: Ding dong, Donnie is doomed